special introductory paragraph!

The Crucial Squeegie Lip

Axis: Bold As Boognish

The Live Brain Wedgie/WAD EXCERPTS

God Ween Satan -- The Oneness

The Pod

Pure Guava

Push Th' Little Daisies EP

At The Cat's Cradle, 1992

Sky Cruiser 7"

I'm Fat 7"

Chocolate And Cheese

12 Golden Country Greats

Live In Toronto Canada

The Mollusk

Paintin' The Town Brown - Live '90-'98

Craters Of The Sac

White Pepper

Rare, Live & Weird

Live At Stubb's, 7/2000

Quebec

All Request Live

Live In Chicago CD

Shinola, Vol. I

The Friends EP

La Cucaracha

If you've heard the earliest Beatles recordings, you know that even great bands have to start somewhere, and that "somewhere" is usually pretty depressing. However, never in your wildest dreams could you have imagined that the great Ween were once this unfathomably shitty. The 45-minute Crucial Squeegie Lip features 40 different tracks; TWO ARE ANY FUCKING GOOD AT ALL. Gene screams everything as loud and annoyingly as he can. Dean seems incapable of switching to a second chord mid-song: a full 12 songs consist of a single chord and screaming. 7 other tracks are jokey song intros spoken through weird guitar effects so you can't make out anything they're saying. At least 6 others are inside jokes about people they know at school. 3 are called "Boobs." Others are called "Yolk," "Oik" and "Blow It Out Your Ass." To paraphrase Roger Ebert, "I hate, hate, HATE this album!"

"Also, 'Roeper'? More like 'GROPER' if you ask the front of my pants!"

I understand what it's like to a be a young person. Hell, I was 15 once too. Not 14 certainly, but 15 shit yeah! But even at that early Antarctic age I knew better than to enjoy hearing a little kid scream over a single guitar chord as somebody beats on something 4,000 miles in the background. Remember Old Skull? This is ten times worse. Okay, maybe five times worse. (Old Skull were pretty awful) My point is that it took Aaron Freeman and Mickey Melchiondo a few years to hone their craft.

And by "hone their craft," I mean '"not play 'Hey Bulldog' wrong and then title it 'Hey Bullfrog' even though the new lyrics aren't about a bullfrog."

I'll give 'em this: (a) "You Fucked Up" is here in early form and it's already a great song, (b) the catchy chord rocker "I Drink A Lot" isn't bad either, and (c) they're already pretty funny when they actually put some thought into what they're saying/singing. Examples of (c) include:

- The politically correct introduction of "Boobs" as an anti-sexism song... ending with the unexpected commentary, "Also, we think the human body is the ugliest thing ever - and boobs are no exception."

- The uncomfortably descriptive lyric "Spongy, spongy boobs!"

- The tone-shifting lyric "I wish my heart wasn't so blue.... I wish it was red as Satan's!"

- The strange description of three-chord crap rocker "The Refrigerator That Wouldn't Close" as "a 16th-century ballad"

- The drummer shouting "I'm the drummer for Kiss!" and evidently performing a piece of physical comedy to the great whimsy of all

- "This is called 'Jello.' 'Jelly'? Who cares."

Otherwise, for god's sake skip this terrible album! It's nearly as bad as La Cucaracha!

And now, to celebrate the New Year (2K8), my New Year's Resolutions:

1. Stop lending money to gonorrhea people. They always return it covered in gonorrhea.
2. Make a mint on my hilarious "Don't Tase Me, Flo!" t-shirts (until the Vic Tayback estate issues a cease-and-desist).
3. Use 'stick-to-it-iveness' to keep to my new healthy diet.
4. Use 'ah-fuck-it-iveness' to eat nothing but pizza and bags of sugar.
5. Continue to aggressively protest the out-of-touch policies of President Reagan.
6. Stop referring to the female breast as "a wrinkly sac of hairy, smelly balls."
7. Make a loot on my uproarious "Don't Tase Me, Bro!" novelty tasers that tase people.
8. Lose 15 pounds. (20 euros)
9. Keep ignoring everyone who requests Joy Division reviews, even though they only have like 2 albums.
10. Stop shouting "TWAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!?!" at babies being born.

Reader Comments

3dsunglasses@gmail.com
mark, i think this review is slightly flawed. when you review your LUMP stuff you give it high reviews for that "Rebellious, dont give a fuck attitude" or whatnot..and thats what this is too sure this is no godweensatan but it kicks the SHIT outta that piece of turd known as axis bold as boognish...WHICH YOU GAVE AN ATROCIOUS 4?!?!??!
this is at least a 6 in my book
its so ridiculous and fucks your head way more than sun ra ever could
a few songs are keepers too
and i like ALL of i drink alot!

Recorded in 1987 when the Ween principals were 16 years old, Axis: Bold As Boognish sets itself apart from most of the Ween oevre by sounding remarkably like an album recorded by 16-year-olds. The simple little chord changes and weak small-amp distortion sound of a young boy learning his craft; the cheap trebly lo-fi sound of a Radio Shack tape recorder; the screaming tuneless vocals that completely drown out any music that might be taking place -- all of these youth hallmarks are proud and present. The only Ween-ism present at this young unmolested age is an already developed fondness for stylistic variety, in parody form. Unfortunately, most of the songs are miserable.

The "highlights" - and I use that term loosely, and in reference to adding a bit of light color to the tips of your hair - include:

(A) "I'm Killing It (Kill Everything)" - A silly happy TV show-style jingle with a teenager screaming all over it
(B) "Bumblebee" - A less distorted, more laidback and swingin' demo of the GodWeenSatan track
(C) "David The Negro" - Tuff Miami Vice music with indecipherably distorted vocals
(D) "She Said She Said" - An honestly not bad at all Beatles cover, especially considering they were only 16!
(E) "Gene's Lament (Tree Love Theme)" - An actual fully-developed SONG, with singing and serious guitar arpeggios and intriguing chord changes! Very Zeppeliny and a stand-out early composition! Why this wasn't re-recorded for GodWeenSatan is a mystery. Maybe they ripped it off from somebody?

And that's it. Yes, there are 12 other songs but they range from barely passable to just AWFUL. The future geniuses of Ween or not, these guys were still high school students, and I think we've all heard enough tapes by high school students to realize exactly how pain-inducing they can be. The thing about being that young is that (a) you haven't been playing your instrument for very long, so even when you're playing the best you can, the rest of the world hears it as not very good at all, (b) you don't harbor any expectations of success, so you have no qualms with screaming all over the music and making inside jokes that nobody outside your band will get, and (c) you don't hear the recorded music as it actually sounds: you hear it the way you know it's supposed to sound - in other words, where other people hear a little kid screaming annoyingly over a couple of barely audible guitar notes, you hear your best buddy howling passionately and hilariously over a killer guitar riff you wrote. The result is inevitably going to sound like shit to everybody who did not appear on it. Believe me, I know this from experience - an experience called the Iris Daylillies that recorded five 90-minute cassettes and forced all our friends to listen to them as we congratulated ourselves on how great they were. If you play an instrument, I imagine you've been down the same route.

Here's further proof that all 16-year-olds think alike:

ATTEMPTED PARODY OF MAINSTREAM POP (THAT WINDS UP SOUNDING LIKE CHILDREN'S MUSIC):
Ween - "On The Beach," "Emily"
Iris Daylillies - "Jello, Iced Tea and a Slab of Fried Okra"

UNFUNNY PARODY OF A 70s HARD ROCK CLASSIC:
Ween - "Aqua-Ween"
Iris Daylillies - "School's Out"

TERRIBLE HEAVY METAL PARODY:
Ween - "The Iron Whore"
Iris Daylillies - "Blood For The Blood God"

TERRIBLE OVERLONG PROG ROCK PARODY:
Ween - "Opus 51 Fugue Trilogy In A"
Iris Daylillies - "Sidewalk To Purgatory"

TERRIBLE A CAPELLA DOOWOP PARODY:
Ween - "Sittin' On My Ass (Wanton Nougat)"
Iris Daylillies - "My Typing Skills Aren't Up To Par"

IDIOT KID SCREAMING SO LOUDLY YOU CAN'T HEAR THE TERRIBLE MUSIC AT ALL:
Ween - "Smoke In My Brain"
Iris Daylillies - "Bags O' Soot"

TERRIBLE INSIDE JOKE ABOUT A CAR ACCIDENT:
Ween - "Tweet Tweet"
Iris Daylillies - "Big Whoop"

TERRIBLE SONG WITH THE WORD 'BOOGNISH' IN THE TITLE:
Ween - "One Love For Boognish"
Iris Daylillies - N/A

So it's official. If you're 11, this might sound awesome, but you're not so forget it.

At least I assume you're not 11, if those huge jugs are any indication.

There's no way you could have carried those huge jugs of milk in from the barn if you were only 11.

Unless you balanced them on your giant fucken cock, I guess.

But that wouldn't be nice to Jimmy The Rooster; he'd probably get a headache.

Okay I admit it; I'm 11.

If you were a member of Ween back in 1988, you might have noticed that you weren't very good. This "album" (and I use those quotation marks loosely) features a robust 11 songs, yet is only 20 minutes long. The guitars are loud and the songs are starting to resemble actual tunes, but the live sound is horribly muffled and Gene's still too young to be a good singer so he just screams everything.

Have you heard of that Clint Eastwood movie The Good, The Bad & The Ugly? Well, I'm now going to cleverly separate the songs on this record into the appropriate categories:

Dirty Harry - Early versions of GodWeenSatan classics "You Fucked Up" and "I Got A Weasel"; fun heavy echo dirge "Jelly"; socially satirical '69-'70 country-rocker "Hippie Smell" (whose title refers the patchouli oil worn by '60s-obsessed '80s youth)

Heartbreak Ridge - tiny but passable "The Refrigerator That Wouldn't Close"; over-cutesy "Don't Laugh (I Love You)" precursor "I Like You"; Moistboyzy driving hard rocker ruined by irritating screamy ending "I Drink A Lot"; nerdy "I Will Follow Him"-referencing "Stacey"

The First Traveling Saleslady - one chord and screaming "Nippy Wiffle," one chord and screaming "In The Node Of Golgothia"; disappointing Black Sabbath rip-off "Gladiola Heartbreaker"

At any rate, it's certainly no Smilehouse: The Tragic Remains of an Abandoned Masterpiece by Mark Prindle. But I guess we can't all have a song where all four guitar lines involve shoving a ballpoint pen under the strings and bashing away at it.

Say, while we're here on the Internet, let's talk about some serious issues that concern teens today:

Politics - It's incredible how many different views of the world there are. People see things in so many different ways. It's bizarre. Also, all politicians are liars.

Nocturnal Emissions - If you have one of these, you're soiled and the stench of failure will never go away.

Music - Never heard it. Is it blue?

There! Now I've solved all the problems that 11-year-old Americans face on a daily baseball.

What was so adorable about Ween at this point in their career was how they talked to each other during the songs - there is such obvious love between these two guys, as demonstrated by the sudden outburst of bitterness expressed at the end of "Nicole" by one of the boys (I can't really tell which one) as he threatens the offending girl ("How come you never called my buggy, Nicole? How come you never called him?"), or the end of "Blackjack," when they both start laughing like sarcastic assholes for a good 45 seconds or so. I don't know; maybe it's just one of them overdubbed. Who cares? It screams of solidarity, and that's exactly what America needs more of.

And what else does America need? Fuzzed-out bebop ("I Got A Weasel," "Never Squeal On The Pusher"), drunken Butthole Surfers bloop ("I'm In The Mood To Move"), nearly inaudible pot anthems ("Puffy Cloud"), Wings sissy-pop ("Marble Tulip Juicy Tree," "Don't Laugh, I Love You"), gospel punk ("Up On The Hill"), and, probably most desperately, lots and lots of obscenity ("Let Me Lick Your Pussy," "Common Bitch," "You Fucked Up"). Wild record. The noise and screaming might upset the old migraine, but if you keep your stereo at a reasonable volume level, you'll never want to leave the house again. Seriously now, these songs are so darned catchy, warped, and clever (example - what the hell kind of love song would feature the lines "Ernest Hemingway would always be there for me/But now, Ernest Hemingway is dead"?) that there's no point in whining about the pointless noise of "Bumblebee" or "Mushroom Festival In Hell" - complaints get you nowhere in life, thank you, so hush your stinkhole and dig the vibes of the funniest Ween record ever. Gosh, but you'll wish you were their friend. It sounds like they would be so much fun to hang out with. Especially if you inhale the bong joint, aww man.

And another thing - That music you hear at the beginning and end of "Birthday Boy" is Pink Floyd's "Echoes." Why is it there? Probably for no reason whatsoever. Also, let me point out that I originally awarded the 10 to THIS album, but changed it several months after The Mollusk came out because, darn it, THAT album fookin' rules and doesn't give me a headache in the process!

Reader Comments

rojanko@pacbell.net (Rob Krohn)
Great one! If the "Prindle Meter" went to 11, it would get a 12! Ween is (are?) funny and they write catchy songs -- much better songwriting than you'd expect on a "comedy" album. I like every song on this one. But I gotta disagree with Mr. LuMP; I dig the "Bumblebee". The leaf-blower solo at the end of "Don't laugh" is also a nice touch. As Gener says, "this is the shit." Buy it now. 70+ minutes of hazy fun.

jfare@execpc.com (Jason Fare)
I reluctantly bought this one 4 days ago, after reading your "10" rating of it. The reason for my hesitation was due to little amount of Ween I had heard. The only song I had ever heard was "Push The Lil Daisies." Which I thought was funny, but I didn't know if I could handle a whole album by a group that sounded like that.

Surprise, surprise. Your "10" rating couldn't be more dead on. I love this record. Every song is interesting and hilarious at the same time. They don't sound like "Push The Lil Daisies" at all on this disc. Their vocals, in my opinion, are brilliant. Two guys making music, and you would think it was 10, with 6 or 7 different lead singers. Thanks for introducing me to such a cool group. I don't often run into something I haven't heard that catches my interest immediately.

jnw@iglobal.net (Jim Hull)
Very impressive...I have to concur with the two gentlemen above...I don't profess to be anything other than a music fan, but this is one of the best "debut" albums I've ever heard...Hilarious, and made all the more powerful by the great musicianship (and shitty musicianship) on the songs--and the songs themselves are fantastic as well..."Black...jack...big black Betty...little Spanish Eddie..." I almost had a wreck driving down I-45 blasting this album...

Buy it.

jfierol@lsu.edu (Joshua Fiero)
Good Lord is this album a noisy mess. Noisy metal rants ("You Fucked Up"), groovin' jazz bass lines ("Never Squeal On a Pusher"), etc, all recorded Lo-Fi and fuzzy, with lots of feedback. It's all great of course, but after listening to "Bumblebee" my tortured ear NEEDS to hear "Don't Laugh, I Love You." Really, really badly. But it's there. So this album gets a nine. Salutations to Boognish.

InMyEyes82@aol.com (Zach English)
It's funny; all the indie/"emo" shemps will completely diss Ween, calling them a "joke" band, and "stupid", but their shitty navel-gazing groups like Sebadoh and Sunny Day Real Estate have about one tenth the songwriting skill that the brothers Ween do. It's that simple; the Weeners make music that's basically fun as hell to listen to. God Ween Satan is the mother of all Ween albums. It's not the best, mind you (that distinction would go to The Mollusk), but it's probably the most talked-about. And for good reason. "Don't Laugh i Love You" is hilarious and beautiful, "You Fucked Up" makes me break out in hives it's so funny and rocking, and "Never Squeal On the Pusher" is a cool jazzbo-type thingy. I have not the time nor will to describe all twenty-odd songs, so I'll leave it at this: This album rules. Thank you.

9/10

t.shan@gateway.net
This album is the most hilarious piece of art my sense have ever feasted upon. The music(or lack of) is great! I had to order this album from the CD store, because they didn't have it in stock. I remember freeing it from its shrinkwrap prison. The simplistic cover art is absolutely brilliant. What a great way to introduce the listener to the mystical entity known as BOOGNISH. I popped this cd into the player, and was blown away by the absolute disregard of decency on the first track, and all throughout the rest of the album. You Fucked Up. Does it get any more hardcore? Yes. Bumblebee, in all of its lack of musicianship and intelligence is one of the most hard tracks, but at the same time, so beautiful. I love it! LMLYP is quite possibly the funniest thing I have heard from the brothers Ween, or the Sandler-esque rant at the end of Nan. So damn funny. Brilliance. The production is so shitty, it sounds like the tape got flushed down the fookin' toilet! But, it is so brilliant you don't notice it. Tick, I Gots A Weasel, Licking the Palm for Guava, and Marble Tulip Juicy Tree are my favorites. I love the whole damn thing though. It is truly a great album. Gene and Dean Ween. Mugicians(magical musicians--coined from the sublime album "Robbin' the Hood"). The most brilliant musicians I have ever heard. And to think, one year ago I thought Ween was a terrible band. What the hell was wrong with me?

dan_watkins@hotmail.com
Man, I don't think I've ever had so much fun listening to a CD! This album is friggin' great! The songs are funny, and all of them sound completely different. I love the raw production too. There are only a few stinkers on here (the dull Prince cover Let Me Lick Your Pussy and the overlong Nicole come to mind), but the rest of it is top-notch Weeness. And I dig that leaf-blower solo in Never Squeal. 10/10 from me.

Jcjh20@aol.com
Very fun debut album! Lots of variety and fucking around and it makes this album really interesting to listen to. Great production, too, on most of these songs. "You Fucked Up" is the lead off, and what a rockin' song that is! Love that screaming! The best song you could possibly play after someone dumps you, says i. "Don't Laugh (I Love You)" is one of my faves on here. What an excellent pop song! "Nicole", "Birthday Boy", "Let Me Lick Your Pussy" (a brilliant Prince parody), "Marble Tulip Juicy Tree", "Never Squeal", and "Squelch The Weasel" are all awesome songs as well, with great melodys and great instrumentation as well, joke or not. Lots of novelty songs on here as well, which are extremely unique and add more fun to the album. "Blackjack", "I'm In The Mood To Move", "Gots A Weasel", "Tick", and "Puffy Cloud" (although there's an awesome song burys under that stoned hushed singing and distant acoustic guitar) are bizarre, and funny as hell. Lots of other songs to mention, from gospel punk ("Up On The Hill"), to classic Spanish music ("El Camino"), to a bunch of noise that doesn't do much of anything but is funny anyway ("Bumblebee", "Common Bitch"), and inside jokes by the band probably ("Fat Lenny", "Waynes Pet Youngin"). I give the album a 9!

stevenjules@xtra.co.nz
Whack! this seems to be, that they shat out, a whole lot of songs/tunes and threw them at a wall to see what sticks, what didn't stick, they chose, and of course, they all stick in the end. My mate, Sam Fishskin has the new anniversary edition. It has three extra songs, the first, Sam say's, is "Bumblebee pt 2" and its when Gener is out in the snow, with no shirt on! and Deaner won't let him in!, the second is "S.t.a.c.e.y with a brain thats kinda s.p.a.c.e.y" with a swirling guitar sound, and the third, Sam continues, is "Hippy smell" sounding like a cross between a 57yr old grunge/country/folk/rock guru from Canada and Neil Young, I tell him its also on a live album somewhere, making a total of 29 SONGS! Sam insists that some of these songs are too long and go no whereish, but I reckon, its pretty much, spot on and remind him that there's 29 SONGS! No one likes spending their hard earned wedge, clams, payola, spondulies, sheckles, Hawksbys, bread, um money, but this is worth every dam rupee, er penny.

Comment: This was originally a 10 untill I heard "The Pod" (but then I love this album so much...it still is)

My rating is, the Old man thunder (most bands would make an entire album out of its 19 seconds of bliss) of 10's or the Nan of 10's or the Marble Tulip Juicy Tree of 10's or the Common Bitch of 10's (This song forkin rules jcjh)

will_t_sublimation@hotmail.com
God Ween Satan: the Oneness, the equal of Sgt. Peppers???? Comparable to Exile on Mainstreet???? One point above Who Are You???? Three points above Velvet Underground and Nico? What the fuck is wrong with you? Those albums suck! If anything they should be grovelling in the numbers between .1 and 0! Well, i can't maintain that in good conscience, since they really should be rated as highly as they are if not higher, but this is a hell of a record.

Some of it's still funny, but humor isn't the main goal here. I suppose it's some sort of tribute to '70s guitar rock, but it's so difficult to tell, presented as it is with fake drums and pretty much no bass. Luckily, the melodies are still kickin' some serious ass, and the arrangements are quirky enough to win over anybody with the patience to sit through a collection of songs as draggy as "Laura," "Alone," and "She Fucks Me." If you're a "grasshead," the mood should fit you perfectly. If you have a history in classic rock, the self-important nonsense bombast of "Dr. Rock," "Right To The Ways And The Rules Of The World," "Captain Fantasy," and "Sketches Of Winkle" will have you laughing all the way to your bank. And if you enjoy a laughable comedy joke, you'll bust a secondary male sexual organ at the goofy Mexican fast food skit "Pollo Asado" and pukingly sugary poptones "Pork Roll Egg And Cheese" and "Oh My Dear (Falling In Love)." The Phil Collins tribute "Demon Sweat" is a winner, too.

And that love between the boys? Still here. Check out "Mononucleosis," one of the most beautiful songs they've ever written, with Gene singing such touching verses as "You're sayin' you wish that you was dead/But I sure don't wish you was dead/Better stay in your sweaty mucoused bed/Oh dude!" Because they're friends, see. And Gene doesn't want Dean to die. He wants him to get better, see. Because they're friends, see. Maybe I'm reading too much into this. But dammit!!!! It's nice to hear two fellows having this much fun together without one of them inserting his penis into the other's buttock. Not that I'm a homophobe, mind you. Hold THAT phone right where you found it, thanks!!!!!

Reader Comments

jwilson@oz.net (John Wilson)
A great way to experience this (and all Ween albums now that no one mentioned it) is to sit back and relax with a can of chemically-induced Scotch Guard. In fact, that's what Mean Ween is doing on the front cover of The Pod. He's doing Scotch Guard powered bong rips. If Scotch Guard is not accessible, nitrous oxide works pretty well too. You will meet the Almighty Boognish and lick the mind of God.

tommyv@ou.edu
wow, haven't seen this site before, but i luovz this album! if you listen to "Molly" drunk or high you might catch yerself asking"hey, When did we put on Prince?" I heard that ol deaner and gener recorded this album when they couldn't be around anybody cuz they had mono. i had mono and the mood that this album exerts make me wanna go home and crawl into bed for about a month. my other favorite ween songs are pumpin for tha man and flies on my dick!

jfierol@lsu.edu (Joshua Fiero)
Slooooooooow indeed. But that's what makes it special. Though this release doesn't contain Ween's best tuneage, and has the only track of theirs besides "Blackjack" that I usually skip, it's got the coolest atmosphere, which the weird production only enhances. Insular and self-referential as the lyrics sometimes are, I still get sucked into Weenland more completely by The Pod than by anything else in their catalogue. Another nine. Maybe a 9.5.

JCatlett@InfoPlexCorp.com
I've been listening to Ween since 1992, and all I have to say is The Pod is still by far their best album. I had it on cassette originally, and I had never really listened to it closely until one day I walked to a friend's house and smoked a bunch of weed, then walked home the long way 'round. I listened to The Pod all the way home on my headphones, and I must say that I was actually a bit frightened at first. That's always a good sign. When they made this album fame was the farthest thing from their mind. It's probably the most honest cross-section view into these Dean and Gene's brains available. If you want really well produced, clear-sounding sounding music with no evident errors - don't buy this release. If you want to hear what Ween sounds like when they're stuck alone in their apartment with a four track, a sack of weed, a few pints of beer, a can of Scotchguard and a wicked viral infection, get it. BTW, I would have rated this album a clean 10.

PolvoFro@aol.com
FREE BIRD!!!!PLAY SOME SKYNARD!!!!.....sketches of winkle keeps me laughing!!!!

dan_watkins@hotmail.com
This is the one I have trouble with. I don't see how people can say Pure Guava is hard to listen to and then say they like this one. To me, this is much harder to get into. The production is just so murky that I can barely listen to it. The only tracks that really stand out for me are Oh My Dear (Falling In Love), Sketches Of Winkle, and Dr. Rock (which is done MUCH better on Paintin' the Town Brown). I don't think I can give this one more than a 5/10.

shaner@iowatelecom.net (Shane Davis)
First of all,I thank my brother for buying the record.About five or four years ago,my brother moved to Portland Oregon.He bought Ween :The Pod at a local Goodwill store there.When he returned back home to Iowa a couple years later,he left the record at our mom's.I borrowed it and put the vinyl record on my old turntable,turned it up loud as I could and it fucking blew my guitar pick out of my hand!I thought the album was so cool,and made a terrible sounding copy of it on a tape by placing a Mic in front of the speakers.Two years ago I graduated High school,and went to live at my dad's for a year before I moved into my own appartment(Just like Ween I currently run the risk of being evicted!)This year,shortly before I gave my brother his record back,I asked my mom if I could use her stereo turntable to copy it.She said yes,and I rocked out.A few days after I copied the tape,I thought I would pick up an old habit(Huff'n Scotch gaurde) I got fucked up really bad and rocked out to Ween and probably irratated the neighbors.I tried hard to kick huffing and eventually got rid of the scotch gaurde and told a freind about the habit.I am clean now and still love this record,I wish I could buy a cd copy,but have not had the luck.My favorite song out of all the tunes on the pod is Pork Roll Egg and Cheese.I could hear some hints ion the record of 60's rock,some alternative and underground indie,rap,and country. You know that I am the stallion man!I live I walk I am the stallion man!

stevenjules@xtra.co.nz
One of Weens strongest & longest, so much material here and most is very good. Song by song is a waste of time, just think of the best music you've ever heard and its all here, slightly skewed. They've tried to cover all the bases, I don't hear Prince though (Unfortunately!?) Awesome value because this ones mostly in bargin bins. Fools. I find I skip the least tracks on this. Maybe I could do without "Oh my dear" But who gives a shit, turn it up because "Sketches of winkle" is next! and I don't have a problem with the production, we're lucky Steve (I'm always right, do as I say, I suck the life blood out of the album) Albini didn't record this. O.K. it does drag slightly but overall I love every song, I want to join Ween.

Comment: Play all the time to people who think your kind of strange (This will confirm it) but not to motorhead fans.

My rating is the hit from a bong of 10's

Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)
My favorite Ween album right now. There's so much material on this one and so much varying styles, either really weird ("Molly", "Moving Away"), really fuckin' rocking ("Dr Rock", "Sketches Of Winkle"), really beautiful pop songs ("Oh My Dear", "Pork Roll Egg And Cheese", "Sorry Charlie"), proggy songs that are 100x more interesting than the average prog band ("Right To The Ways And The Rules Of The World"), and really sluggishly slow tunes that are so weird and crazy sounding you have to be on sleeping pills to fall asleep to 'em ("Alone", "Laura", "She Fucks Me", the bluesy "Boing"). Just a really weird, homemade sounding record and i've never heard anything like it! Every song is great in some way and no song sounds the same. Pure Guava comes close to the weirdness, but comes across as less consistant, in my opinion. I give it a 9/10.

jschneek@yahoo.com
I think everybody who ever had a 4-track and played the guitar probably has a bunch old tapes of this kind of stuff lying around somewhere - I know I do. But what's great about Ween (especially now in hindsight) is how they can take so many styles and just master them PERFECTLY. Like how they took country, soul, prog, alternative, 70's pop, etc and made these sometimes questionable styles sound great and funny and smart. (Yeah, that's right, Ween made country music sound SMART.) And here you have the classic mileu of the stoner home recording session perfected and pushed to the absolute limit.

Around this time Sebadoh and Pavement and the whole "lo-fi" thing was happening with Lou Barlow writing stuff that sounded like outtakes from an early 70's David Crosby solo session and then Beck broke with his folk/rap act that even radio and MTV could dig, but fuck all that - The Pod is not meant for critics or the average listener. What's awesome about this album is that it doesn't sound like two kids trying to record a demo or get a record deal or even write proper songs - they're just fucking around. Even the best "actual" songs (say, "Mononucleosis" or "Sorry Charlie") wouldn't sound as cool with a full band or bigger budget because they're perfect as the stoner 4-track toss-off masterpieces that they are. This album speaks to me the way I imagine a grizzled old country singer might nod in appreciation to "Powder Blue" from the 12 Golden Country Greats album - I can dig it because I used to love recording songs on my 4-track too. But The Pod just brings the awesome sound like nothing else and now years later I still love it and have to listen to it all the way through whenever I put it on. It's Ween's White Album - i.e. their best.

Heck, it even took me quite some time to get into this album; see, unlike the previous Ween records, this is a collection of songs that all sound pretty much the same. And they all sound like they were recorded at home by a couple of glue-sniffers with a Casio keyboard. But it grew on me - especially after I heard the brilliant and confusing Chocolate And Cheese. Nevertheless, I wouldn't recommend making this your first Ween purchase. It's definitely their stupidest record, no matter how catchy little pop ditties like "Push Th' Little Daisies" and "I Saw Gener Crying In His Sleep" (another great solidarity piece - Dean feels sorry for his buggie when he sees him crying in his sleep over a girl or something) begin to seem after you've heard them a few times. If you're looking for an excuse to write Ween off as novelty, try here first. Sounds like dang little kid music half the time (except for all those blue words)! Even the guitars sound fake. But, again, it will grow on you. It's a great novelty record. And "The Stallion Pt. 3" is fantastic.

Reader Comments

erat@ix.netcom.com (Daniel Erat)
The first three albums: These are similar in style, as much as three different Ween albums (or even songs) can be. Everything sounds fresh, as if the two made sure not to practice the songs so much that they'd be sick of them by the time they were recorded. Often, it sounds like the songs are being written as they're laid down on tape, but despite this, everything stays more or less cohesive. There are still large stylistic differences between the three albums, though: God Ween Satan is a huge mixture of various styles of music, The Pod makes you feel plain miserable (in a good sort of way), and Pure Guava is lo-fi creepy pop music. While these albums definitely aren't as accessible as the later ones, there are a lot more things going on in most of the songs, and because of this, I usually find listening to them to be more rewarding.

corpsebag@hotmail.com (Michael Cory)
Maybe a great Ween release. Can you get a better guitar sound than on "Little Birdy" ?

Nek0170@aol.com
A quick story:

A long time ago (about 3 years ago) in a shanty town by the Jersey shore, a young, recent college grad saw a hip happening band in a crappy little bar. That band's name was Ween. The young, seriously buzzed grad liked the band. They had a funny habit of announcing every song the same way, "That was (name of song) by Ween!" and had some funny, wiseass lyrics. The music itself was extremely kicking and the band had a great sound (a full, 5 member band). Even though the lead singer has a truly annoying smirk on his face that you just wanted smack, he was still pretty funny. Just not as funny as he seemed to think he was.

Anyway this fellow, rushed to his local record store the next day to see what he could find from this happening band from the night before. He bought Pure Guava. Put it into his cassette deck, and heard crappy casio keyboards, lame-ass drum machines, vocals on helium and a whole attitude of an album that seemed to say "Even though you just spent some hard earned bucks on this, we don't care cos a schmuck like you will buy anything". He tried to make it through the whole tape but he couldn't. He ended up smashing it with a hammer which only made his hangover worse. To this day he curses the mighty Ween and spends too much time e-mailing web pages thinking it will make an ounce of difference in this world.

Weigelda@aol.com (Dave Weigel)
Sorry, Mark. I really dig Ween, but this album is a piece of shit. I was gonna agree when you said "it sounds like a bunch of outtakes from The Pod"... but then you gave it a 9! A 9! OUT OF 10!

THIS ALBUM SUCKS! The reason people who know who Ween are and dismiss them is because they think Ween sound like this. Slow-ass tempos, fake drums, druggy, smug vocals, and stupid fucking songs. "Little Birdy"? "Push th' Little Daisies"? "Flies on My Dick"? This is about as funny as Tim fucking Allen. Fuck! Of these NINETEEN songs, 10 have to be the most boring, poorly written wastes of tape I've ever heard. And it's 55 minutes long!

Mark, if you weren't so right on and clever 95% of the time, this review would cause me to lose all respect for you. But as of right now, I still trust you. Still...Pure Guava is comparable to Abbey Road? Exile on Main St.? Close to the Edge? It's superior to Highway 61 Revisted? Come on! My rating: 3/10

bpo03830@cmsu2.cmsu.edu (Handle)
when i saw this terrible review and the ignorant comments it contained, i had to laugh. why even review albums when u suck at it? Pure Guava has some of ween's best recordings on it. how can u argue that "don't get 2 close (2 my fantasy)" is not absolutely amazing (the whistling solo is my favorite part). "tender situation" is also a gem, and "the stallion pt. 3" is by far one of ween's greatest songs. go listen to some hip hop or something. ween is way to good 4 your pathetic reviews.

InMyEyes82@aol.com (Zach English)
I just got this album, so my thoughts on it might be a little skewed, but after a couple listens it seems like on this album Ween were INCREDIBLY stoned, so much so that some of the material is hampered. However, there are about ten TERRIFIC songs here, including "Don't Get 2 Close", "Stallion Pt. 3" and "Tender Situation", all of which are damn beautiful rock songs. It's just that alot of the other stuff seems unfinished. Still a good Ween album, as it definitely has a "theme" (stoned to the point of discombobulation), so I'd slap a 7 or a low 8 on it at this juncture of my lifespan.

jfrancis@villagenet.com (Jon)
What are youse nuts? This is one of the most brilliant albums in the universe. Its sooo bad from your typical overhypedproduced commercial fare, thats its stunning genius. I only have this and The Pod. Haven't listened to the Pod in a dogs year and recall it had nowhere near the elan of Guava. Sort of a warm up excercise for the magnificent piece of resistance..Guava. I also didn't care for some of the more "serious" songwriting efforts that came afterwards. Hey Ween....stick to the "idiot rock." Its great. Then again, I also love the Shaggs...

pmtapia@worldnet.att.net (The Chameleon)
Pretty damn silly nonsense, but fun. I wouldn't give this album a 9, more like a 7 or something because it just doesn't strike with really awesome songs like The Mollusk and Chocolate and Cheese did. I really like "little birdy" although the vocals throughout the song and other songs sounds like Gene was really tired when he singing it (he's the one that sings right?). "Tender Situation" is awesome as is "Stallion Pt.3" there are some other cool ones like "Don't Get 2 Close" and "I Saw Gener Cryin' in His Sleep" but too many of the songs are just mediocre kind of filler stuff. Sure all the songs are funny but that isn't enough when the music is at times just plain lame. Good album, fun listen but not that great.

dan_watkins@hotmail.com
Hey, I kind of like it. It has novelty written all over it, but it's still an interesting listen. The only track I can't listen to is Mourning Glory. Shit, I don't want to know HOW they made that. Little Birdy up to The Tough Gets Going From The Get-go is all gold, but it does get a bit patchy after that. Don't Get 2 Close 2 My Fantasy is great though. I'll give it a low 8.

johnsmit@freenet.nether.net (John Smith)
I'm drunk and listening to Pure Guava right now. This, along with God Ween Satan, and The Pod are their only good albums. When they started to get "serious," they started to suck. I'll just go down the line:
1. Little Birdy: This song's decent. They must have been doin' extra bong hits on this one, cause they sound _really_ fucked up.
2. Tender Situation - I don't know, but I like this one a lot. Most of the lyrics are just recycled from other Ween songs, but the songs great. It sounds a lot like the Pod (my favorite Ween album)
3. The Stallion pt. III - I don't like it as much a the Stallion Pt. I (although it's better than pt. II). Really catchy. Sounds like nothing else.
4. Big Jilm - Kind of funny, but musically, it just sucks.
5. Push the lil' Daisies - this is about as close as Ween ever got to a hit, which is crazy, because they have tons of songs that are much better. This song's still pretty good. Kind of grates on my nerves sometimes. Pretty, in its own way.
6. The goin gets tough from the getgo - Phat Beat, nice banter between the boys during the song. I have the feeling they made this one in about 10 minutes.
7. Reggaejunkiejew - I have a lot of memories with this song. You see, at the time this album came out, I was in high school. I had this friend who was a jewish drug dealer who wore his hair in dreadlocks, and he was over at my house. We were listening to this song when i first got the album, and he asked what this song was called, cause it was cool. I picked up the CD and said "reggaejunkiejew." He just looked at me and said 'let's smoke this joint."
8. I play it off legit - okay, nothing great.
9. Pumpin 4 the man - Super hyped up cool song.
10. Sarah - beautiful song.
11. I forget the name of this song, but it's catchy.
12. Flies on my dick - stupid.
13. I saw Gener Cryin in his Sleep - Cool song, but I like the country version on Paintin the Town Brown a hell of a lot better.
14. Touch My Tooter - Kind of funny, nice rhythm

Well, screw doing the entire album (I'm too drunk). A very cool ass album, but one that takes a long time to get into if you're not a Ween fan, or if you've only heard their commercial albums that were released after this.

grant@grantedmonds.com (Grant Edmonds)
The only Ween song I've ever heard is from this album. "Push The Little Daisies." Jesus! You know, it's fuckin' hilarious, (even though there's no real talent going on) ..I cried so much as I laughed so hard...holy son of a bitch! Gotta love it! Maybe I'd hate it if the whole album sounded like this, but this is all I've heard, so it's fuckin' classic!

BuddhaCat1@aol.com
When I'm soberg I'm gonnarite a relly damn good reveiw of this one.

Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)
Well, i love it! Though very fucked up, it's still quite a unique album. I don't think it's their best, but it's definately the Ween album i've been pulling out the most lately because it's so weird, and makes me wonder what kind of drugs these guys have been taking during the sessions, but at the same time hilarious, catchy and just a fun album! Some of this stuff DOES sound like The Pod outtakes (like the wonderful "Tender Situation", which sounds like Gener is either really high, or trying hard to be quiet to not to wake someone up or something), but it doesn't even matter because The Pod is a great album and this just improves The Pod formula since these guys signed with a major label and everything. I especially love the songs with the sped up vocals, because it's such an effective idea that makes the songs sound so hilarious and cute or obnoxious, depending on what kind of person you are, so my favorite songs on the album are the phased, mystical "The Stallion Pt. 3" and the catchy funky groove of "Springtheme". I really do wonder who in their right mind would sign these guys by hearing The Pod, who would release obnoxious cacophony like "Mourning Glory" and "Touch My Tooter" (only 2 songs i don't like, as the former is wayyy too unlistenable, and the latter is played a lot better live) AND i also wonder how in the hell "Push Th' Little Daisies" became such an MTV hit. However, i am glad because this album is really enjoyable. I mean, anyone can make a song with a casio keyboard, drum machine and mixer but not everyone can make them so damn funny and interesting. Not the best place to start with Ween, obviously, but once you hear other Ween albums and understand what kind of dudes these are, you'll probably enjoy it too. What other band would fuck up a perfectally beautiful ballad like "Loving U Thru It All" just for the sake of fucking something up (besides the Butthole Surfers)? Or even title a song "Flies On My Dick", for that matter. Ohh, and "Don't Get 2 Close (2 My Fantasy)" is fucking hilarious. The acapella end part always makes me laugh. Sounds like Queen or something! I give it a 9.

stevenjules@xtra.co.nz
Yiks, they've turned up the weirdness button, with distorted vocals, (sped up/slowed down) guitar, drum machines, tiny keyboards etc. I feel the actual songs have suffered, (still miles better than average tho) and where as "The Pod" did use these tricks, it wasn't to the same degree as this. The problem here is, there's no grunt, no bottom end, where as the superb, Big Black use drum machines to their advantage, (by somehow bringing the drums to the front of the mix and at the same time, cleverly burying them behind a wall of guitars) on this, it sounds almost as if, their just a backing track, still it could be worse, a lot worse. So I like "Mourning Glory" it has attitude. But "Push th' Little Daisies" (this one, I'm not so sure about) "Reggaejunkiejew" "Flies on My Dick" "Poop Ship Destroyer"!? What is this? (this is tiresome) "Tender Situation" (yip) "Little Birdy" (yes!) "Springtheme"(Yes Yes!) "The Stallion pt. 3" (YES!) "Don't get 2 Close" (are they real drums?) all deserve better homes than this.

Comment: Could be "The Pods" little brother (a bit annoying, sometimes you really want to slap it round) But in the right mood, (you know, tired from a big Butthole Surfers session) has some, awfully good casio keyboard fueled stuff on this.

My rating is the big house with lots of people of 8's

steve.robey@mindspring.com
Here's a little tidbit that might put the oft-mentioned "crappy sound" of this album in some sort of perspective. When Pure Guava came out, I heard tell that one of the terms of their new major label deal was that each subsequent album would bear greater production values than the first. With this in mind, Ween purposely made Pure Guava as cheesy and lo-fi as possible, in order to set the bar low enough to allow them maximum leeway in the future. Interesting theory - though it was only hearsay. Anyone else hear that?

In any case, I loved the album immediately. It sounds like it was made on another planet. It was my first introduction to Ween, and I've been a passionate fan ever since. I remember the first time I heard it: my friend had made me a tape of it, and I put it on in the car while driving to a bar to see a band (come to think of it, that band was Five Eight, but that's beside the point). The first half of the album was on my mind all through the concert, and then for the drive home (after a couple of beers), "Touch My Tooter" and "Mourning Glory" came on and I knew that I had come across something very special. This was before I knew of TFUL282, so it was one of the oddest POP recordings I'd heard to that point (I already had Sonic Death and The Faust Tapes at that point, but that doesn't profess to be pop).

"Mourning Glory" still gives me goosebumps. Maybe it's the shock of the first time I heard it that still hasn't worn off. In short time, I even recorded an original composition called "Bun Prints" that was heavily inspired by that piece, using just overdubbed voices, a distortion pedal and a lot of beer. Definitely "B-side" material.

jasonhrobey@comcast.net
I don’t have any “Ween friends,” and having read through all these reviews, I’m glad I don’t. You “fans” sicken me. How can you be a true Ween fan and not love each and every one of their albums to death? The 9/10 rating for this album is as low as I’d accept from any proclaimed Ween fan. In my opinion, “Pure Guava” is an 11 out of 10, and better than anything they’ve done before or since. Oddly enough, until I came to this site, I assumed most Ween fans thought the same. Wow, how gross and disappointing to be smacked like a broken down whore with your total lack of taste, people.

“Pure Guava” was my introduction to Ween. Like you, I thought I had made a mistake the first time I heard it, but I couldn’t stop listening. I left it on repeat overnight, and the album was absorbed into my brain as I slept. When I woke up, it was locked onto my gray matter like some kind of fat, cranial leach. I knew that I had stumbled upon something completely unique and utterly brilliant. The rough edges that had repulsed me at first were still there, but underneath it all was genius of a type I had never heard before in music. No longer repulsive, those rough, ugly edges had made the album interminably intriguing.

All Ween albums are masterpieces in their own way, but none has ever struck me the same way this one has. For every time I listen to “The Mollusk” or “Chocolate and Cheese” or whatever, I listen to “Pure Guava” like five times. And besides, “The Stallion Pt. 3” is the best song Ween has ever written. Get some taste people. Long live “Pure Guava.” Long live Ween.

hunt125@msn.com (Hunter)
Although initially, I thought Ween was the most stupid band ever after seeing the video for "Can't Put My Finger On It", I grew to love them after I purchased "The Mollusk" on your online recomendation. But that is really irrelevant, so I think I'll just stop here before I hurt the both of us.

For the record, I love this album, but I must say, you gave it one of the most unflattering reviews I've ever seen for a record score that high! Based on your comments, I would've guessed you had given it a 6 or 7 at the highest, but a 9?! Sure, it deserves it, but way not to make a case for it! And is it just me, or does "Little Birdy"sound like it could be sort of a Nirvana pisser? I'm thinking "Heart Shaped Box"...

...Nevermind, that wasn't for another year. (And that sentance starting pun was unintentional.)

snuggleblade@mail.com
I would have to agree with Jason. Anybody that gives Pure Guava less than an 11 should go listen to Godsmack or Linkin Park, because you can't comprehend greatness. This is the most punk rockest, genius, anti-establisment/rules/formulas/guidelines, funniest, down to earth, up in space masterpiece that i have ever had the honor to grace my headphones with. Big Jilm is the best song ever written and should not be underestimated. And no other band will ever get away with putting a tascam 4-track recording onto a major label release, let alone 2! like Ween. Anybody that does not like 1 song on ANY Ween record is a coward, a bastard and a traitor. These are the guys that got stuff thrown at them while opening for Fugazi. Now if that isn't punk, I don't know what is.

mattdklein@gmail.com
Yikes. What an album. Some Ween fans swear by it, some hate it.

Yeah, well... I think it's just OK.

I can't really describe it. I'm a huge fan of Ween, and I listen to them all the time. But for some reason, try as I might, I absolutely cannot get into this one. Sure I don't hate it, but it really DOES sound like it was put together in about two hours. While there really isn't anything weak on it, nothing really stands out either. "Don't Get 2 Close" and "Springtheme" are my favorites. Stuff like "Mourning Glory" is interesting, but not really entertaining. I'm sure if you're drunk or high while you listen to it, it's a masterpiece. But I'm not going to get high every time I want to hear this CD... I'd rather put on C&C, The Mollusk, The Pod or anything else. A 6/10.

By the way, Mark, don't you just love when you give your opinion on an album, and people call you wrong, an idiot, a homo, etc. and don't even explain why? It's okay, though... Most of those people listen to Pink!

count_skogg@yahoo.com
Hey Mark, i've been enjoying your reviews since the late 90s - you're always entertaining and often correct with certain 'heavy rock' styles, ala the Melvins, who you inspired me to delve further into (that Lysol album is amazing), and i can't thank you enough for that. so good work.

you're pretty right on with the ween releases, too, although i've just noticed you've given all the studio albums a 9, apart from a 10 for The Mollusk. i still have issues with White Pepper, which only has one or two songs I really like on it, although it's quite listenable. Quebec was a good return to form. for me Pure Guava and The Pod rise above the rest. but think the country, chocolate and cheese, and mollusk albums are amazing and i've overplayed them so much that they don't get thrown on too often, and i can only appreciate amazing epic songs like Buenos Tardes Amigo when i'm in the right mood now.

But onto Pure Guava, I love the low-fi feel, the fact it is deliberately badly recorded in places, the songs and vocals don’t seem well rehearsed (which gives them a great energy), they’ve predominantly used tacky drum machines, casio keyboards and distorted guitar – and all these elements enhance a bunch of brilliant songs of great humour and feeling. It might help that it was the first of their albums I heard, back in ’93 and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I can’t even go through it song-by-song or this comment will never end. But even the hardest song I found to get into, Mourning Glory, works for me now – I used to skip past the feedbacked guitars and stupid narration, but now it’s almost as enjoyable as Big Jilm.

It's too bad too, because they were funny! I already knew they were funny from the Pod-era concert I'd attended the previous year, but this 1992 show was every bit as filled with adorable and stupid stage patter. This was back when they still performed shows as a duo, with bass and drum tracks provided by an onstage DAT recorder. Bored to tears with having to tie their performances to a pre-recorded rhythm track every night of a 9 1/2-month tour, they entertained themselves by inserting personal chit-chat and jokey laughter items between songs.

Some of my favorite comments from this performance include:

(before launching into the first song of a tightly pre-programmed show): "Okay, this first song that we're gonna do tonight - it's a totally improvisational decision, a nice loose jam by Ween called 'Big Jilm.'"

"I think we're in rare form. I'm not sure."

"I think I just pushed 'record' on the DAT. I think I just recorded over 'Never Squeal On The Pusher.'"

"That's it! I've had it! I've fuckin' had it! Nine and a half months!!!"

"Yeah, you'd better clap!"

"I feel like an old Jewish man tonight."

(after Gene bungles the first line of "Don't Get 2 Close (2 My Fantasy)"): Dean: "9 1/2 months on the road...." Gene: "And I forgot the words!!!"

(Dean, after playing an arpeggio riff that clearly wasn't "Wanted Dead Or Alive"): "Anybody know if that was Bon Jovi? A cowboy - something?"

(before "You Fucked Up"): "This is about that fucking bitch!"

(when the dramatic keyboard line of "Buckingham Green" kicks in on the DAT): "So fuckin' low. That's about the all-time low point we've achieved. It's what happens when you smoke too much opium."

(Gene, after Dean completes "Buckingham Green" with a 3-minute noise solo): "Wanna hear it again?" (pause) "Well, we're having a good time!"

The oddestball thing about the performance, and something I certainly didn't notice at the time, is that they only played four songs from Pure Guava, the CD they were ostensibly touring to promote. Even strangerer, these four songs did not include their soon-to-be hit single "Push Th' Little Daisies." But most weirdestly of all, they chose to perform TWO B-SIDES from the soon-to-be hit single "Push The' Little Daisies"! So thanks for that, Elektra Records must've been saying at the time.

No sir, the bulk of the show comprised material from their debut GodWeenSatan: The Oneness LP (10 songs!!!), along with a mere three from The Pod, the two B-sides I just mentioned, a redneck heavy metal song they'd later release on Paintin' The Town Brown and - against all possible odds - "Buckingham Green," a haunting folk-prog song that wouldn't see the light of studio day until The Mollusk, three albums later! How could they just sit on a song that great? Why wasn't it on Chocolate And Cheese!? Why didn't they give it a peppy beat and put it on 12 Golden Country Greats? Man. Who knows with people like this!

Most of the song performances are fine. At times they use a messier, more distorted guitar tone than on the albums (particularly in "Don't Get 2 Close 2 My Fantasy"), and there is obviously less emphasis on sped-up and slowed-down voices, but otherwise they're pretty similar to their studio counterparts (barring the moments when Dean just splanks aimlessly at his guitar out of sheer boredom). "El Camino" suddenly turns into "White Rabbit" in the middle, Dean has to retune his guitar halfway through "Fat Lenny" (it's horrendously out of tune up to that point!), and "Papa Zit" sounds like it's being played wrong, but otherwise they're pretty studio to their counter similarparts (barring the door! Zombies!!!)

But enough of my hilarious train of thought gags. Choo-choo!

The CD also includes a bonus DVD of live and radio performances from '91-'92. Many of the songs from the CD are repeated here, but they also toss in two more GodWeenSatans, one more Pod, another song they'd later recover for Paintin' The Town Brown, two oldies-but-not-necessarily-goodies from Live Brain Wedgie and The Timmy Wasserman Tape, and entertaining radio performances of The Doobie Brothers' "Listen To The Music" and a Jewish gag called "Shalom Absolom."

I like it. Hey, anything that brings back great memories of mononucleosis is fine by me!

Seriously though, does anybody know what ever happened to Jennifer Corcoran? I hope she's still alive, and preferably happy somewhere.

"Stinky Jim!
Oh Stinky Jim!
Get away from him
'Cause he's Stinky Jim!"

And here's a little joke I just made up for you:

Why did the eucalyptus boat fail to make entry at the Pier of Destinational?
I'll tell ya why! Because the captain was some kinda ASSHOLE!

As you can see, you can't just randomly throw some words together and have a song or joke worth relating to the folks at the weather station. Sure, "Stinky Jim" might serve as a passable theme song for a television series entitled Stinky Jim that follows the madcap adventures of a foul-smelling man scheming his way through the crazy world of high finance, but until I get a call back from Aaron Spellman that one's pretty much shit in the water. As for the eucalyptus boat gag, I might as well have put the punchline at the beginning it was so obvious. In fact, I'll do just that right now:

Why did the eucalyptus boat whose captain was some kinda ASSHOLE fail to make entry at the Pier of Destinational?
Because he shoved all the eucalyptus trees up his butt and shouted "Tim-ber!" as he crapped them out all over the Pier of Destinational's tollbooth operator, who frowned on such juvenile behavior and went to get his supervisor James Arsimmons, who duly informed the captain that his fecal-scented eucalyptus was of little or no interest to the fine citizens and denizens of Destinational, at which point the captain punched himself in the kidney, unzipped his dungarees, and took a horrifying blood-red leak into Mr. Arsimmons' open mouth, resulting in a two-week jail term for the former and a devastating case of Hepatitis C for the latter.

But my point is this: when Ween released this straightforward and humorless soul-pop confection (or 'pastry') just minutes after soaking our brains in the novelty-slop laughter glue of GodWeenSatan: The Oneness, The Pod and Pure Guava, what were we supposed to think but "WTF?" And sure, if we'd only thought "WTC?" instead, we could've gotten to work reinforcing those beams and saved thousands of lives, but hindsight 20/20. In 1992, we'd heard nothing from Ween that even hinted at an interest to perform a song as innocuous and listener-friendly as "Sky Cruiser." When the hi-fi diversity explosion Chocolate & Cheese hit the streets two years later, the song made more sense -- but in forward-thinking retrospect, the flavorless, forgettable "Sky Cruiser" is actually closer in tone and effect to La Cucaracha.

Boring music: Bb/A/F a literal billion times in a row.
Blah lyrics: "Sky Cruiser/You gonna fly through the night/You'll be there when the mornin' comes/to greet me with a smile"
Annoying instrumentation: Where did they find that awful squawky organ? In the middle of the ocean!?
Worthless b-side: "Cruise Control (Sky Cruiser Remix)"

I wouldn't piss on this single if it were on fire, but hey that's why God made the American Flag.

Featuring a mere two lines (the first of which is "Well, I got big tits and I can't reach my dick when I wanna take a piss - I'm fat!") repeated over and over again for a minute and a half, the song should wear thin, but doesn't -- for three reasons. (A) It's just funny to hear all these curse words sung over and over again, (B) the music is a bouncy silly hoedown that can't fail to unbring a non-smile to your notface, and (C) the song is a call-response between the singer and a "fat person," whose voice has been deepened and obesed through today's high-tech speed manipulation technology such that he actually sounds like a fat person when whining complaints like "Come on, it's no fun being fat! I can't help it!"

The b-side, "I'm Fat (Remix)," is just as ludicridous, slowing down the music and deleting the sung vocals so the listener can enjoy two and a half minutes of a lopey-dopey hoedown, a "fat person" complaining about his girth, and (this is what takes the whole project over the top) the non-stop crunching of potato chip mastication. The entire song is coated in 'potato chip chewing' noises.

Thank you Ween, for your unwavering devotion to making fun of people.

Reader Comments

jhmusicman12@gmail.com
I'm a fat kid, and I hear potato chip chewing all the time, and it's usually coming from my own mouth.

This album was the first indication that you, the American record-buying public, were muckin' up the yingying if you wrote Ween off as a novelty act. On this album, they sound like a highly creative, music-loving BAND - or, truth be told as truth will, sixteen different bands. They've returned to the genre-defying songfrig of God Ween Satan, but have augmented it with some killer big league production that, for better says I though whiners might gripe, gives Ween that ever-elusive "genuine" feel for which they've been searching for decades. And it's freaky! You see the video for "Voodoo Lady," and you go "SHIT." Then you see the video for "Freedom Of '76," and you go "eh?" Then you see the video for "I Can't Put My Finger On It," and you go, "Oh! Those first two were JOKES????"

And, of course, they weren't - Ween are honestly attempting to emulate different forms of music that they happen to enjoy. And if that makes it difficult for alternative music fans to pin them down, then dammit, good for Ween! "Take Me Away" sounds like Tom Jones, "What Gener Was Talking About" sounds exactly like Wings, "Buenas Tardes, Amigo" is one of the most amazing Mexican corridos ever written by a white guy from Pennsylvania, "Drifter In The Dark" sounds more like They Might Be Giants than we could possibly wish for, and "Baby Bitch" - sheet, that's an angry little hate ballad.

The single sole downpoint is that I kinda miss hearing the guys talk to each other during the songs (another favorite moment in this vein - the bit in "I Saw Gener Crying In His Sleep" from Pure Guava when the mic feeds back and you can hear one of the boys laugh, "We fucked it up again!" But they left it in. Good for Ween. And good for rock and fucking roll!!!! Or whatever it is that Ween play). I got jack else to say, except that this is a really impressive record for two guys who used to be so darned stoned and noisy all the day.

Reader Comments

erat@ix.netcom.com (Daniel Erat)
This is the first Ween album that I heard. While I really liked it at the time, it steadily went down in my esteem as I grew acquainted with the older albums. Almost all the songs here seem simple and safe compared to ones on the previous albums, no doubt due in large part to the (first for Ween, if I'm not mistaken) use of an actual recording studio. All that isn't to say there aren't any good songs here. "Mister Would You Please Help My Pony?", "Spinal Meningitis", "Voodoo Lady", and "Freedom of '76" are great, and there are others that I like as well, like "A Tear For Eddie" and "Can't Put My Finger On It". But, as a whole, this album just doesn't hold up to repeated listenings for me as well as most of the other albums do. And I still think that "Candi" is one of the worst, least funny pieces of garbage I've heard. It sounds like a horribly failed attempt to make a song in the style of "Hey Fat Boy", "Poop Ship Destroyer", or "Blackjack".

Weigelda@aol.com (Dave Weigel)
Chocolate and Cheese is probably Ween's second best album. What a comeback! The songs actually reach mid-tempo, and they're diverse, well-written and fun, too! Not a bad song on here. What's wrong with "Candi"? It's at least 100,000 times better than anything on Pure Guava. But I've beaten that to death. Listen kids--Ween are a good band, but Pure Guava really sucked.

albracht@wins.uva.nl (Arthur Albracht)
I just love this CD and am fully agreed with your opinion. It is to say though, that I must be in a funny mood to like every song, like "Candy". I think Ween is a band that is very good at two different points: In concert and in the studio. I went to a concert, the 4th of december in Groningen, Holland and that was splended; great voices, fantastic solos, and extremely long, for about three and a half hour!!! When hearing Chocolate & Cheese the next morning, you hear a bit softier side of Ween, but indifferently good too!!!

Badmoon510@aol.com (Pat)
What do i say here? They're incredible. Absolutely amazing. I must admit, this was my first Ween album and it took a little getting used to. I guess I just wasn't ready for it. They blew me away. Every song on this album rocks, a few in particular: Voodoo Lady- songs don't get better than this, Spinal Meningitis- it's sick, I love it. I laughed (hiv) I cried (baby bitch) and if you haven't seen them live then you're breaking my heart. Ween.

InMyEyes82@aol.com
9/10

Aside from perhaps the Flaming Lips, Ween is indeed the best kept secret in this country's rock scene. They're so goddamn eclectic, you have to be adventurous to be a Ween fan, and not many folks out there are. And I'm not talking about "adventurous" like crappy Japanese noise bands, I mean "musically adventurous". Dean and Gene Ween have brass cajones, and C&C is a delightful stew of Philly soul, Mexican tomfoolery and overall tastelessness (HIV song). You can laugh one minute at a Ween song, and then make an about face and say "Damn, they can write a great song".

rockpud@earthlink.net (Terence Burke)
"A Tear for Eddie" is a tribute to the late, great INCREDIBLE git-skronk stylings of Mr. Eddie Hazel, one of the earlier guitarists for the incredible and almighty Funkadelic ... check out the track, "Maggot Brain" from their album of the same name if you don't know what I mean .... and then proceed to buy everyother Funkadelic record and draw yer obvious parralells to "The Ween" ....

savage1561@juno.com (Evan Streb)
(everything Terence Burke just said)

"Maggot Brain" (the song) is the definitive work from the most underrated guitarist of all time. A ten minute instrumental slooooow electric guitar workout wank jam. It's also supposed to enhance the effects of smoking reefer more than any other song. Or so I'm told. Awesome.

pmtapia@worldnet.att.net (The Chameleon)
Fucking awesome as the teenagers these days say. Much much better than Pure Guava. The melodies are a lot more cleaner and simply cooler. Still hilarious stuff except for that freaky song about meningitis. Meningitus scares me. Other than that really funny but also the music and all are much better. "Mister Will you Please Help My Pony" kicks ass. How can you not laugh at "mister will you please help my pony?/he can't talk because he's a pony"? Pure hilarity. Great Record. This one gets a 9.

dan_watkins@hotmail.com
Pretty damn good. Listen to this one right after Pure Guava or The Pod, and it will blow your mind that this is the same band. The day I bought it, I put it in right after me and my friend had been hearing Pure Guava all day and we were shocked. PRODUCTION! Hell yeah! Man, I love this CD. The variety is unbelievable. Why can't all CD's be so dynamic? Every song sounds like a completely different band. Every song is a winner. 9/10

cmacj@webtv.net
if you're a fan of ween then you have a sense of humor and adventure. a large part of their appeal is their unpredictability. you never knew what you were gonna get. sometimes they were baffling with their keen sense of musical genre (chocolate and cheese, 12 greatest...), sometimes wonderfully fucked up (godweensatan, the pod), or just plain asinine (pure guava). one man's trash is another's treasure. without such diversity they wouldn't be ween. it's pointless to discuss which recording is better when it comes to this duo because never tried to make a better recording but rather, a different one.

Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)
One of my favorite Ween albums, though i played it out so much that i could hardly review it. One of the most diverse albums i've ever heard, with Ween covering a whole bunch of different styles! My favorites are the Wings/Paul Mccartney-esque "What Deaner Was Talkin' About", the great acoustic normality of "Don't Shit Where You Eat" and "Baby Bitch", the cowboy campfire country of "Drifter In The Dark" (i'll never understand why you think it sounds like They Might Be Giants, Mark ;) ), the Pink Floyd-ish "A Tear For Eddie", and the soulful "Freedom Of '76". I'd also be a fool to forget such hilarity like "I Can't Put My Finger On It", which sounds like triumph the comic insult dog is on vocals. "Spinal Meningitis" also somehow mixes the old Ween with the new Ween brilliantly as well. I pretty much dig every song on this one, and i'd give it a 9/10, just like most Ween albums are anyway.

Rob.Greene@MuniServices.com
Quick one here. Ween is the greatest thing going and I love reading the reviews. This album is killer, but they all are. Mollusk is the best, but who cares. Whichever one is on is probably my favorite Ween album at that moment. I love the jerkoffs who claim that Ween sucked after their first 3 revords. You guys are soooooooooo hip! More Lo-Fi all around. Ridiculous! But I have to say that is the funniest (and truest) line in this entirely enjoyable website: "Buenas Tardes, Amigo" is one of the most amazing Mexican corridos ever written by a white guy from Pennsylvania, That right there, pretty much sums up Ween in a nutshell, and it is one big freakin nutshell, at that.

Anyway, these ten (yes, ten, and not twelve as the album title so sillily suggests) songs show the same amount of melodic ingenuity that Ween have always displayed, but this time - well, it's country music! And, like on the last one, some tunes are clearly meant to be humorous ("Piss Up A Rope," "Help Me Scrape The Mucus Off My Brain") and others are not. Either way, I just LOVE these melodies! They go out of their way to demonstrate at least a passing acquaintance with several different forms of country/western, including the gentle acoustic balladry of "I'm Holding You," the upbeat hoedown of "Japanese Cowboy," the modern honky-tonk shitrock of "Piss Up A Rope," the loopy '20s flapper music that is "Mister Richard Smoker," and a Bruce Springsteen Nebraska-type depression thing about a dog named "Fluffy." I love this record to death. It's pretty short (only half an hour long), but every song blows me away (except "Help Me Scrape....", which really isn't all that catchy). "Pretty Girl" and "You Were The Fool" are phenomenal, and serious too!!! Good crap.

Reader Comments

erat@ix.netcom.com (Daniel Erat)
My opinion of this album has softened over time, as well. I don't like the overall sound of the album enough to listen to this one very often, and a lot of the songs just seem to be built around a single joke, but there are a couple that hold up well on their own, like "Japanese Cowboy", "Piss Up a Rope", "Mister Richard Smoker", and "You Were the Fool".

bcj@ecr.mu.oz.au (Buck Joyce)
Yes, I agree this is the least enjoyable of the five albums so far. But that's not the point. The point is that you weren't expecting it and neither was I. No one was. Not only that -- as far as country music goes, this isn't bad. I hate country music and I didn't hate this album. I respect the fact that you are not just liking it 'cause it's ween, as it is very easy to do, but I stand by my opinion that this is the best piss-take/tribute album Ween have released, simply because of how dang country it sounds.

jwilson@oz.net (John Wilson)
Have we ever heard of the word experimental? Ween is a couple of glue-sniffers with a few more instruments than a Casio recorder, but they keep the shit real. Check out their brand new one, The Mollusk. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Dinkums001@aol.com
Wholeheartly agree with your review for this recording. Country greats is an underated album. Funny(Muhamid ali sample made me piss my skivies) and serious in the same light. Although I would replace Scrape the mucus off my brain with holding you where "catchy" is concerned. Also, the C.D art is one of the most surreal sights I've seen on an album. With the cowboy looking up and the Horse looking down, Strangly artful for a band most people call "saterical"

InMyEyes82@aol.com (Zach English)
True that, Mr. Prindle, 12 Golden Country Greats is probably the most misunderstood of all Ween's records. Why? Because it's a damn traditional country album, that's why. Now, I'm not totally averse to country music. I like stuff like the Meat Puppets and Wilco, but I loathe crap like Shania Twain, Garth Brooks and Dwight Yoakam. Thing is, Ween simultaneous pays homage to AND pokes fun at country's rich tradition, so for me, that alone would make me enjoy the album. No one has really tried anything like this before. However, I enjoy the album primarily because of the song craft. Whether they're silly as hell ("Piss Up a Rope") or beautiful ("Fluffy"), I love the songs here, simple as that. Unfortunately, some Ween fans are just too narrow-minded to like anything that smacks of country music. C'est la vie.

9/10

bgreenstein@nctimes.net (Ben Greenstein)
A friend of mine recently popped this album on in my car. I had never heard Ween, so wasn't quite sure what to expect. I ended up loving every minute of it. "Mr. Richard Smoker" has forced me to add the term "poopie poker" into my vocabulary, and "Piss Up A Rope" is not only catchy, but is about urination! And I can dig it! The only song I didn't really like all that much was "Help Me Scrape The Mucous Off My Brain," and a title like that more than makes up for a lack of melody. I think I like "Fluffy" better than almost anything off of Nebraska - I'd give the album an eight, maybe a nine at some point in the future.

dan_watkins@hotmail.com
Hmmm... this is about as novelty as you can get. I hate to be predictable here, but Piss Up A Rope is my favorite. Japanese Cowboy and Mister Richard Smoker are good too. The rest of it just sounds like pretty average country music to me though. I do listen to this one more than the Pod though. 6/10

johnsmit@freenet.nether.net (John Smith)
I may be one of the few Ween fans that also loves country music. So you'd think if you mix the two together, it'd be great, but this album is pretty weak. I have to give Ween mad props for doing a country album, as it was probably the least expected career move they could've taken. I also give them props for doing a TRADITIONAL country album. The thing is, if you're gonna do a country album, you have to judge it by the standards of other country music and in the case of this album, it really pales in comparison to the likes of Patsy Cline and George Strait. A couple of the songs ("piss up a rope" and "you were the fool") are nice, but overall, this is just two guys trying to make good country music, but failing and turning out uninspired generic country. BTW, I bought one of my friends this CD for christmas, and found out the album now has the mohammed ali sample edited out of "piss up a rope." Mohamed Ali's lawyer's can piss up a rope! that was the best part of the so! ng!!

Tisinger
Well I really enjoy this album. It's not their best one but, like everyone else has mentioned, it's catchy. I would like to inform you that Ween made this album primarily to piss off their record company, Electra. Check out Issue 46 of Magnet Magazine (http://www.magnetmagazine.com) for more info on this. Also, the 12 in 12 Golden Country Greats refers not to the number of songs (obviously), but instead to the 12 professional studio musicians that they recorded the album with.

dan_watkins@hotmail.com
Okay, please let me correct my previous comments. After doing some more in-depth listening, I found out that this album is pretty good. I'm Holding You and I Don't Want To Leave You On The Farm are beautiful. Fluffy is one of the best examples of a beatiful song with funny lyrics in Ween's repertiore (try to check out the live Nashville version). Unfortunately Mark's story of the album isn't true (it is a great story). The story is just that Gene and Dean had a bunch of country songs lying around and decided to go down to Nashville and hire a bunch of session players who used to play on Elvis records and such. I think it's pretty admirable that they actually went through with the whole idea. The live shows from the tour are pretty interesting too. I give this one an eight.

payday@socket.net (Tammy Kincaid)
Lives up to previous album Chocolate and Cheese. One of the most versatile bands around. They have explored musical boundaries unknown and un-thought of. Ween is no joke. They are pioneers, Period. They are THE underground band of their generation, as well as generations before them. Pure genius. I hope to hear more of them.

stevenjules@xtra.co.nz
Maybe this should have a warning on the cover, "This contains no music" naa just joking, just because it's country, don't automatically write it off (like I foolishly do, with every country album, which crosses my path). After a hard day at the steel mill, I like nothing better than to come home and listen to this! O.K. I don't actually work at a steel mill, (and if I did, I would probably listen to The Afghan Whigs superb "Black Love") but I still like to come home from the mall and listen to this! Theres more humour in this, what is, essentially a straight country album, than all the Highway Men albums put together (2). That Johnny Cash covered Soundgardens "Rusty Cage" (on the great in parts, "Unchained album", which by the way also contains a drop dead gorgeous version of Becks "Rowboat" and a song called "I never picked cotton" all recorded by one Rick Rubin!) has got nothing to do with it at all. This album, while hardly bitchin, still has that kick ass, country feel to it, although its as far from "Touch My Tooter" or "Hey Fat Boy (Asshole)" or "Big Jilm" (Man, I was Too HARD on Pure Gauva) as you can get. Country can get away with lame shit (you know, horse died, dog died, girl ran off with the stable hand, town gets a new sheriff, working up the courage to ask the widower Jones to the big dance, sex with animals etc etc) because it's sung with feeling...and WEEN nail it!

Comment: These boys can't do anything wrong and no one mentioned "Powder Blue". You don't have to get your arse pummelled, every time you play a cd, and its a little short, so, why is "Booze me up and get me high" not on this? or the beautiful acoustic version of "So long Jerry"

My rating is the 10 gallon hat of 9's

anthonybarkdoll@bellsouth.net
One thing you didn't mention, and what I'd love to know how they pulled off, is that the famous Jordanaires sing on this album. They happen to be some old school Christian singers like the Statler Bothers. A lot of the session players on this album are old school Nashville guys, which is why it sounds so authentic. If they had known who Ween were, I doubt they'd have conceded to appearing on this album. Needless to say, this album rules. But I don't think it appeals to country fans for some reason - I bought a copy for a country music fan, and he didn't really like it. Maybe it's just too weird.

I love your website, man. Good to see some excellent Sabbath reviews, and to see that you correctly identify Vol4 as the best Sabbath album (but neglecting to mention that it contains the worst Sabbath song - that horrible ballad that Ozzy's daughter was supposed to record with him). Loved the Dead Milkmen interviews too. I'll have to forward your site to some of my peoples.

Bringing the joy of the country to concert stages all over the land, Ween hit the road in 1996 accompanied by "Bobby Ogden and the Shit Creek Boys," a group of twangy, fiddley, pedal steely C&W musicians sure to bustin' ready to perform six Golden Country Greats, 4 Chocolate And Cheesers, 3 Pure Guavas, 1 Poddy, 1 future Mollusk and a Billy Joel cover. And luckily somebody brought along a high-quality tape recorder!

You already suspect how the Golden Country songs sound, so let's cut to the quick: how have America's Ween countrified their songs from udder records? Here's how!

- "What Deaner Was Talkin' About" is even more beautiful with a harmony violin section.
- "Pumpin' 4 The Man" is played on bass and drums alone for some reason, until a pedal steel shows up right near the end.
- "Spinal Meningitis (Got Me Down)" remains uncountrified, its subject matter simply too dark to survive the genre hop.
- "Waving My Dick In The Wind" is already country, so requires no stylistic changes.
- "Push Th' Little Daisies" sounds even goofier with pedal steel guitar. Also, Gene can't hit those high notes without his voice sped up.
- "Buenos Tardes Amigos" is drenched in creepy pedal steel swoops and suspenseful violin flourishes.
- "Poop Ship Destroyer" features a bit of barroom piano at the end of each verse.
- "Dr. Rock" is even bombasticer now that it's accompanied by intense stutter-metal VIOLINS!!!!! Hold your shorts, Apocalyptica!
- "The H.I.V. Song" is the most adorable thing in the world when its melody is played "unplugged" on an "acoustic" guitar. You'll want to PET it, it's so cute!

Of all the Ween live albums, this is the one that should pique your interest the most. They only toured with a country/western band one time, and you should want to hear it! I hope that my harmless descriptions above have gotten you all excited about trying to find yourself a copy, but if not, here are a few more points of interest:

- They play two minutes of "Piano Man" even though they clearly despise the song. Chorus: "Sing us a song, you're the Piano Man! Put some coke on my dick tonight!"
- They play "Fluffy" for FOURTEEN MINUTES.
- "We gotta be tight here," they announce before "Mister Richard Smoker." "Tighter than, uhh...," they continue, "Steely Dan's asshole."

It only gets an 8 though, because they drop the harmony vocal that MAKES "Pretty Girl," "Pumpin' For The Man" is bass/drum EMPTY, "Help Me Scrape The Mucus Off My Brain" isn't a very INTERESTING song, and although I enjoy the IDEA of dragging "Poop Ship Destroyer" out for 6 minutes and "Fluffy" out for 14, in actuality it's a waste of the time/space continuum where other songs could've and should've been performed.

And now it's time for Installment Two of 'Mark Prindle Tries To Stay Current For Once In His Life.' Here are the new (to me, anyway) artists I tried out this week:

Atlas Sound - Solo thingy for Deerhunter guy. Lo-fi indie pop-rock, basically. Some sparkly chimes, some guitars, etc. Soothing, tuneful. Mellow relaxed, nice!

Black Kids - First song on MySpace is Gang Of Four wannabe (skrankly guitar, woogly synth, dancey beat), second is Cure wannabe (synth strings, wiggly voice, happy love melody), third is just shitty '80s New Romantic garbage - and that's all I could stand!

Black Moth Super Rainbow - Squoogly synth riffs, nice high female voice through effects. Dreamy, psych. Okay.

Chairlift - She tried to do handstands for me. WRITE SOME NEW LYRICS!! Bouncy annoying commercial music.

Cut Copy - Australian disco. '70s nostalgia, horrifically uncompelling.

David Thomas Broughton - A guy strumming a guitar and singing in an awful voice. Alright, who told me to listen to this!?

Death Cab For Cutie - Melodic guitar-driven indie rock with tuneful male singer. Some pianos too. Probably good for Yo La Tengo fans.

Duffy - Good god, what an annoying voice! She sounds like a little black girl singing into an oscillating fan!

El Guincho - Dancey shaky samba mambo Caribbean Spanish goodtimes! If that's your kind of music, you'll love it!

Elbow - British. The best material on their MySpace page has a dark proggy Radiohead/Pink Floyd feel ("Station Approach" and "Any Day Now" are great songs!). The worst encompass lame hipster shit-rock, overdone bombast and bland Peter Gabriel doldrums. Not consistent enough to make me want to hear more, but I really like the two songs I named above!

Gutter Twins - Afghan Whigs and Screaming Trees 2getha. Good solid dark rock music!

Kate Nash - Ugly British accent - she sounds like David Bowie as a woman. Playful piano music, little kid music (oh excuse me, "60's r'n'b") with curse words. Cutesy 'witty' lyrics.

Lucinda Williams - Country-rock. I didn't mind the first song, but they got progressively worse until I wanted to kick her off a horse into some cowpoop.

Lykke Li - Swedish woman. Weird accent, high voice. Piano, synths, beats, sparklydust. Some dark, some lovey, some seXXXy. Not great.

Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson - Strummy acoustic, piano, smoky bar music, singer with godawful voice. Wheezy smoky voice, and the occasional dumbest-sounding scream EVER. Bland songwriting, sluggish tempos.

My Morning Jacket - This band seems to be all over the place. Their first song on MySpace is very pretty with lovely guitar and violins, but the others are jokey funk-metal, lame disco, terrible Americana-Rock and weak country-western. The vocals are uniformly awful.

Okkervil River - Terrible over-emotional wiggly-voiced singer, trying to do roots/bar rock, I guess? Boring American rock music.

The Bug - Slow awful British Jamaican-accented club reggae.

The Streets - The WORST RAPPER IN HISTORY. A bored, boring, nerdy-sounding British man. Just GODAWFUL!

Wolf Parade - Melodic indie rock with piano, synths, guitars and singer with a wiggly voice. Some really good songs, some just okay. But it's melodic!

Reader Comments

ksulliv4@maine.rr.com
I actually agree with your assessments of most of these bands, but I'm not going to let you dismiss My Morning Jacket that easily. The songs on their MySpace are from the album they released this year, which is admittedly pretty shitty. Listen to Z or Okonokos to see what these guys are capable of.

jtbrubak@uncg.edu
Goddamn, your new music feature is just reminding me how mostly terrible my generation's indie music is. With the exception of Atlas Sound, who I like a lot (I'm a Deerhunter fanboy), and Black Moth Super Rainbow, who I like somewhat, I don't like any of the acts you listened to this week, in degrees ranging from apathy (Lucinda Williams, Elbow), to mild contempt (Wolf Parade, Death Cab for Cutie), to utter loathing (Lykke Li, CUT FUCKING COPY). The infestation of mindless 80s revival hipster dance shit in today's underground scene is profoundly disturbing to me. Ugh. Oh wait, I just noticed the Gutter Twins on there. They're pretty cool, too, and even if they sucked Greg Dulli is still the man, so I can't totally hate them. And I guess I kind of sort of like My Morning Jacket, even though I never listen to them and don't really plan on listening to them more. So that's four out of twenty, if I'm being generous. Not good, not good.

Although you can definitely tell that it's Ween, the fellers have again managed to record an album that sounds almost nothing like any of their others. Aside from the folk ballad and prog rock influences, there's also a delightful rip-off of a bouncy piano tune from 1953 (I guess...), a great jacked-up take on Carsy early '80s new wave, a strangely serious cheeseball Bryan Adamsy ballad, and more overblown pomposity than you've heard on the radio in decades - and it's fantastic! I immediately fell in love with these wonderful, well-developed, and beautifully produced songs, and I like them even more with each listen. "The Golden Eel" is a bit ugly, but even that one has a great chorus. Bombast America!

Is this humor? Of course it is, but only secondarily. After all, as much as ELP sucked the dick, "Lucky Man" is one of the greatest songs ever written. Ween realized this, and basically pulled off a whole album of "Lucky Men." Thank them when you see them. They're continuing to bend genres, but not in that ska-rap-rock way that fans of Sublime and Beck think is so spectacular. Ween know music - they don't have to act cool and try to connect with their generation like all those lookalike MTV darlings do. In fact, with each release, they appear to be getting further and further away from the simplistic bullshit that the kids want to hear, and thank everything and all for that, because twenty years from now, when electronica sounds as hilariously dated to the rest of the world as it does to me right now, Ween's The Mollusk will still sound timeless. It will never go out of style, because it will never be in style. And, as I hope you have surmised by this point in your life, style is for followers, not leaders. Avoid it.

And to Ween fans of old - you probably won't laugh out loud at all as you listen to this record, but why should you? Ween is NOT a joke band. They are eccentric and special, and it's about time the American public starts to give them a little more credit, dammit to hell. I can honestly say I absolutely ADORE nearly every one of these songs. I wish the album were longer than 44 minutes, but we can't have everything. Didn't their last album only come out about a year ago? Another score for Dean and Gene Ween. The best one yet.

Reader Comments

jwilson@oz.net (John Wilson)
Well, you really pulled through on this review. I have to totally agree with everything you say. It seems that Ween have finally pulled off an album that I can easily rate up there with the Beatles. Not over-produced, not too trashy, experimental yet safe. I bought it two days ago, it hasn't left my tape deck yet.

stevenw@execpc.com (Steve Wahlin/Tammy Riste)
I swear, Ween keeps getting better with every release, The Mollusk just helps prove that. And the beautiful thing is that they are one of America's best kept musical secrets. Riding a sound somewhere between ultra-indie eclectia and radio megapop, they have the potential to piss off every person who listens to them. Listeners of so-called "alternative radio" have no taste for Gene and Dean, due to their unique vision; nor do critical "expert" rock snobs because of Ween's quality and true musicianship - not to mention lack of whinyness and/or noisemongering ("Ween are such fuckin' sellouts. And sexist and childish. Gripe gripe gripe." Whatever.) People who don't like (or don't get) Ween are probably the ones gettin' made fun of. I just hope those boys keep making records, because everything else sucks.

?@Ice.Lakeheadu.Ca (Dave)
The fact is, Ween kicks ass. They have proved it six times and hopefully will keep on being Ween until I am 82 (60 years from now)--but even then I will defy my deaf ears and put my hand to the speaker and get a good vibe.

rojanko@pacbell.net (Rob Krohn)
What a strange collection of ethnic tunes and 70's ballads. But strange in a good way! Weeners once again lead us into a compelling LP which features a mix of music style they choose to play just for the sake of playing it. This baby has everything: an Irish drinking tune, pop-reggae, a (very) cheesy 1970's-esque ballad, and electronica. Not every song is something you'd hum to yourself late at night, but most are memorable and kind of funny. Not the LOL funny of the God-Satan release -- more subtle. (Of course what *isn't* more subtle than "LMLYP"??) Since our society likes to classify everything, I'd place Ween in the "Ween" category. "What do they sound like?" you ask... Go buy it!! Find out for yourselves! Give your local Alternative Rock station (in my case, Y-107) the finger. Wussies! They'll probably play "Ocean Man" a couple of times, and then give up on it within 2 weeks. (Gotta devote more time to Save Ferris and Cake.) Huzzah to Mr. Prindle for writing such insightful reviews on one of the 1990's most original groups. BTW, did anyone see the Ween show in Los Angeles last Sept? Going out of town and missing it was one of the worst things ever...

bcj@ecr.mu.oz.au (Buck Joyce)
The Mollusk (otherwise known as Ween discover keyboards) is simply brilliant. Again no tracks sound the same and when I play this at work I am constantly being asked who this band is. When I say "'Tis Ween" they immediately say "Isn't that the band who played that last song? Shit!". So far, to my count, I have converted at least 15 people to Ween, and once you're addicted there's no hope for rehab. To paraphrase some article I read somewhere "Ween will take over the world". Why? Because the only reason most people don't like them is because they haven't heard any more than "Push Th' Little Daisies" and have written them off as a one-inexplicable-hit novelty act, or because they are close-minded Michael Bolton fans (not that there's anything wrong with Michael Bolton, just his fans). If you're not a Ween fan, open your mind and let the Boognish in. You will not be disappointed.

xfoundationx@mail.geocities.com (Dean Reis)
The first thing i would like to say is that ever since i first heard "push the little daisies", i pretty much decided that ween was just another piece of shit band that carried no interest in music or talent. I figured they were just some bratty kids that were too arty for their own good. Their performance in the it's pat movie only helped comfirm that this was a band that i felt we could do without. One night, i decided to give them one more chance and i watched them perform on the show viva variety. The song they performed was "Golden Eel." Lets just put it this way. I was utterly blown away by it. Everything about them seemed so totally different. They looked wiser, their lyrics were extremly intelligent and poetic, there was a seriousness about them that was just totally mesmorizing. After hearing that one song, i went out the next day and bought the album. I was not disappointed at all. I don't even like the fuckin' band, but i will have to admit, not only is this one of the most brilliant albums of the 90's, but i feel this is one of the most brilliant albums ever. i think it is comparable to Drive like Jehu's yank crime, Sonic Youth's Daydream nation and Sister, Kraftwerk's Radioactivity, Beatles Magical Mystery tour, David Bowie's ziggy Stardust and the Pogues Rum sodomy and the lash. Actually, i find a lot of influence from the pogues on this album. Every song is a jewel except for possibly the first little diddy on the album. The production is superb. Even if the album is not as original and groundbreaking as the the previous listed bands, the album is still remarkable. What can i say...it's fuckin' great.

jnw@iglobal.net (Jim Hull)
One of the best albums of 1997...I don't profess to be a Ween-ie, or anything, but these guys have talent, snot, and disregard going for them, so I hail them and this record. Lots of Genesis-y, ELP-poking stuff...what the hell are they doing to the vocal on "Show Tonight"? It's cool, and so right-on it's scary...also noticed what sounded to me like a holdover from 12GCG on "Johhny On The Spot", except done up with sparse keyboards and drony vocals...maybe they like C&W more than a little bit...but man do I ever love "The Mollusk"! I reminisced, and I rolled...and Ween are good. I give this album a 9.

pasmtsrs#c-zone.net (Sullivan)
Oh My God! The Mullosk is outstanding! Imagine The Butthole Surfers Hairway to Steven meets the Beatles Abbey Road... A completely twisted concept album. The use of keyboards is subtle, and in excellent taste. Psychedelic guitar, and vocal panning/mixing make this album beautiful to listen to. Ween mix styles to perfection, even within songs. I can't say enough good things about this one...Buy it, and experience bliss.

seo@total.net (Stephane Ouimet)
I like the "Lucky man" analogy in your review: this album actually sounds as if ELP, or Pink Floyd, in their spaced out days, or The Moody Blues in their non-geriatric phase have come up with actual songs, not pyrotechnical noodlings. I also feel that Ween isn't a joke band: they can be parodic at times, but there is always a great care about the song structure. My favorite: "Mutilated lips".

PodDwellr@aol.com
I would first of all like to state that I am a very dedicated fan of Ween. I think the ideas that Ween has presented throughout the years has shown that good music is good music whatever style, shape, or form it's delivered in. I would also like to say that the band has presented an emotional expression vortex while maintaining the high spirt of humor.

dmr@interx.net (Dennis M. Rawlins)
The first time I listened to this album, it was dark and windy outside. I have never been told a better bed-time story. I think this is Ween's best. I didn't think so at first, but every tune sweeps me off my feet. Every song is quality. sorry nothing to say about Zeppelin or Floyd, so I better go. Pets Sounds! yeah, Brian Wilson wishes he could pen a tune like "everything will be alright"! WEEEEEEEEEEEn!

InMyEyes82@aol.com (Zach English)
Agreed here, this album is majestic. I disagree about the statement that it's not humorous though, because while there may not be alot of laugh-out-loud playfulness like there is on earlier albums, this one has a high sense of irony, albeit one that is thankfully not so smug that it brings down the music. This damn Ween band can be incredibly subversive and are almost always very clever. "Mutilated Lips" might be the prettiest song they've ever done, and there's nary a bad track on here, all aces. I even dig the verses AND choruses of "Golden Eel", it sounds really regal and pompous. The album REALLY hits it's stride on the last five or six songs, which are just brain-lickingly superb. I also love how it has a definable theme and is constructed so as to reward listenings that go all the way through the album, not just bits and pieces. I loved Chocolate and Cheese as much as the next guy, but it seemed a bit schizophrenic. The tunes on that one weren't really related, and on the Mollusk they are.

10/10

Dinkums001@aol.com (Jared Pickering)
Although I would have to give C&C the 10. I can't stress how great this album is. Maybe if it was a bit longer. The only song that drags is "it's going to be alright", lyriacally it would make Lou Barlow weep uncontrolably, but it doesen't do anything for me. The other songs are super however. I'd give it a 9.5. Also, Dean ween has a side project called the Moistboyz, It's pretty damn good

pmtapia@worldnet.att.net (The Chameleon)
This one is a 10 the whole way through. Most albums that I really love didn't catch me always on the first listen. This one sure did. I bought it to try it out and the first listen I was completely blown away. "Mutilated Lips" has this really Pink Floyd-esque kind of trippy sound to it. And with a name like "Mutilated Lips" you can't go wrong. "The Blarney Stone" is the perfect drinking song. "It's Gonna Be (Alright)"? I think I'm gonna cry from that beatiful ballad. I can't say but good things about "The Mollusk" all the other songs kick ass too. Wonderful melodies, great guitar work. The album is so diverse too. Get it today. Go out and just buy it. Do yourself a favor. You deserve it.

savage1561@juno.com (Evan Streb)
Yes a totally awesome, singy-songy, progressive rock album. ten all the way. the opening ragtime song is the best thing ween has ever done. waving my dick in the wind more than lives up to its title. i love the sound of that flute or whatever it is in the title song. it's gonna be alright is totally serious and unironic for some reason. she wanted to leave reprise starts out normal and then turns into this unbelievably pompous overblown ELPesque closing with one of the guys growling, for I'm not the man I used to be. Now I'm one of them. and then you hear the ragtime song again!!!!!!! awesome awesome awesome. oh! and the blarney stone brings a tear to me eye.

dpriest@mics.net (Debra Priest)
The First ween album i ever heard was about 3 years ago when my older brother bought a cd named Mullusk and at first i heard the first song which we all know that it sounds like these guys are a bunch of ferries, but as i kept listening i heard songs such as "Blarney Stone" and "Mullusk" and i was singing the tunes for the next couple of months.

Well that was in 8th grade and ever since then ive been rocking to the boognish. Their new album i have not got, but i have heard the whole thing over and over and it is pretty damn cool. I gotta say they have matured through the years.

Being the first Ween album ive ever heard back in eigth grade, about 3 years ago i still think its my favorite, except the "Dancing in the show tonite" which is annoying, but its Ween and you gotta love em.

t.shan@gateway.net
The Mollusk kicks total ass! I didn't like the beginning of the album at first, but then i heard "Ocean Man" and "Buckingham Green". How can you not love that shit? "I'm Dancing in the Show Tonight" is the next song I payed close attention to, and I'll have to say that I love the weird little voice changes and the pizzicatto shit on the violin. I love the whole album now. One of my favorites. My favorite songs are still "Buckingham Green", "She Wanted To Leave", and I'm starting to dig "Pink Eye". BOOGNISH FOREVER!!

erat@ix.netcom.com (Daniel Erat)
Wow. I was starting to get bummed out because of the last two albums, but when The Mollusk was released, I forgot all about them. It can sort of be described as a concept album, although the maritime theme runs through only about half of the songs. In almost all of them, though, the spontaneity from the first three albums is back. There are a couple of exceptions, like novelty 80s pop ballad "It's Gonna Be (Alright)" and boring filler song "Pink Eye (On My Leg)", but apart from those and "I'll Be Your Johnny" and "Cold Blows the Wind", the songs are all varied and interesting enough to please, time and time again. There are a ton of neat, memorable little parts, like the transitions into the guitar solos in "Golden Eel", "Buckingham Green", and "Polka Dot Tail", the great synth lines in "Mollusk", and the ending of "She Wanted to Leave". The tamed-down lyrics in "Blarney Stone" are a shame, though. "I'll punch you in the face" just isn't as good of a line as "I'll kick you in the dick."

mateochick1@yahoo.com (Matt Chicoski)
...you mention style in the context of whether Ween had it or not, and how little it mattered. Ween, my friend, has style. Gobs of it! And it does matter, however difficult it is to define. I think you are confusing style and fashion, my friend. For while fashion is but a fad, style is forever.

amcquill@home.com (Andrew McQuillan)
The first Ween album I ever bought and it is one of the best CD's I have by any band.

dan_watkins@hotmail.com
Hey, now THIS is an album! Overblown progressive rock with an ingredient that is missing from every Yes and ELP record: a sense of humor. The Mollusk, Mutilated Lips, Buckingham Green, and Cold Blows The Wind are beautiful. The Blarney Stone is a funny sea chanty, and Waving My Dick In The Wind is catchy as hell! There are only a couple here I don't care too much for. Ocean Man is okay, but it doesn't really do a whole lot for me, and She Wanted To Leave sounds a bit too much like Yes for my taste. Otherwise, this is a great album. 9/10

Jcjh20@aol.com
Yup, definately a 10 for this awesome album! Every damn song fucking rules. People who think the humor is long gone in this band and that they got all mature and "therefore they suck" are talking out their ass! Some stuff on here is absolutely hilarious, like the pompous vocal delivery and lyrics of "Buckingham Green", the totally parodic radio-ready and corporately formulaic atmosphere of "It's Gonna Be (Alright)" (i have to say though, ironic or not, this song is gorgeous), the weird vocals on "Dancing In The Show Tonight", and the whole song of "The Blarney Stone".

What's great about this album compared to their earlier stuff, though, is that the funny songs sound so serious and authentic for jokes (although they definately have done that before on the earlier albums, of course)! Jokes get old after a while, but these are actually GREAT fucking songs that are amazing even after the joke gets old. Ween isn't some novelty band after all, they really are amazing songwriters. "Mutilated Lips", "Cold Blows The Wind", and "She Wanted To Leave" are absolutely beautiful tunes that also deserve a mention. My only complaint is that "Waving My Dick In The Wind" really doesn't fit that well on this album. More on Chocolate And Cheese then here. Still a great song though! That "tap dancing" middle part is funny as hell!

stevenjules@xtra.co.nz
Talking to a friend of mine, Grant Hart (name changed to protect identity) I say that, The Mollusk, is truely a great concept album, he say's that, although he doesn't have such concept albums as Sgt Pepper, Dark Side of the Moon etc, he just knows they are better. I say that, theres a nuatical theme running through the album, he say's that, most albums have a "theme" whether good or bad. I say that, theres a really cool sea shanty/drinking song called "The Blarney Stone", he say's that, if he want's to get shit faced with a bottle of whisky, he listen's to real Irish bands, like, The Dubliners, Poguemahone and The Butthole Surfers. I say that, each song is a complete masterpiece, he say's that, Weens done a song for "Sponge Bob!". I say that, "Mutilated Lips" is very good, he say's that, he agrees.

Comment: I ask if theres ever been a band more diverse than Ween, Grant wonders if anybody has heard Underworld's "Beaucoup Fish" side one is close to perfect, and has nothing to do with "The Mollusk".

My rating is the full 10 fathoms (Grants is a shallow 8)

associationist@hotmail.com (Philip Prescott)
Possibly my all time favorite album. However, I have to disagree with your categorical dismissal of all "electronica", as all electronic music is certainly not created equal. Do yourself a huge favor and check out Autechre, as these guys are creating some of the most beautiful, challenging, and inspiring sounds ever heard. Try Chiastic Slide or Confield.

Rob.Greene@MuniServices.com
This album is the absolute shit. Easily Ween's best, and that says a lot because every other record they have done is pretty great in there own right, maybe with the exception of Pure Guava, which is ok in parts, but kind of bites at the same time. My wife even loves this record to pieces, and she loves Journey. It's probably my personal fave of all time as well, and I never get tired of flipping it on. She Wanted to Leave may be their finest moment. Love that crescending coda at the end. Somehow always chokes me up, even though I've heard it a 1000 times. The sweeping strings are perfect. Can't agree more that this album will never go out of style, because it's timeless stuff here. Some people don't get Ween, but those people are stoopid.

One word.

No no, I mean YOU - say one word.

Did you say it?

No really. Say one word.

Was it "poop"?

No? Ahh heck.

Anyway, what separates Ween's live shows from their studio records is the same thing that separates, say, the wondrous joy of Led Zeppelin's Houses Of The Potato from the ickypoo of The Song Remains The Potato. That being wanking. Wanking wanking WANKING!!! Wasting tons and oodles of time on stupid noises, annoying guitar solos and a stoned expression of "atmosphere." Now by all means I suggest seeing the guys in concert. I bet this stuff is awesome live, with the volume and the cheering crowd and the dry ice and the bright colorful lights (I haven't seen 'em since the Pure Guava tour so I can't tell you for sure). But sitting at home in your living hole, the five minute crap intro to "I Can't Put My Finger On It," the atrociously directionless three-minute guitar solo in the middle of "Voodoo Lady" and, worst of all, the 30-minute solo-fest of "Vallejo," get AWFULLY boring. I mean, "Vallejo" starts like a nice Butthole Surfers ripoff and certainly has its moments (the delayed crazy Judaism type vocalizing is killer and the guitarist does some cool shit in the first ten minutes or so), but THIRTY MINUTES????

So what's good about the CD? That's simple: Everything else. It's two hours and four different line-ups of hilarious stoned Ween concert fun. Hear "She Fucks Me" and "I Saw Gener Cryin' In His Sleep" done as country hoedowns on the country tour! Hear "Doctor Rock" elevated to the status of kickass '70s rock classic as played by a full band! Hear "Puffy Cloud" at proper volume during an "unplugged" session! Hear three catchy stupid tunes you might have never heard before (the stupid French "Ode To Rene," ridiculously stupid effects-driven drunken country jam "Mountain Dew" and phenomenally stupid boopity-bop "Cover It With Gas And Set It On Fire"). And what, you quiver, what about the dreaded 26-minute version of "Poopship Destroyer"? Well, it's just a bunch of phased, distorted noise. But it's COOL phased, distorted noise! It sounds like a Poopship Destroyer firing on the crowd and causing science fiction mayhem!!! It's that darn follow-up "Vallejo" that does ME in. Again, it has its moments, but certainly not thirty minutes of them.

Enjoy the live Ween! They're cool, they wank, they're Bean!

Reader Comments

InMyEyes82@aol.com (Zach English)
I just saw Ween like a week ago, and their live show can follow the same guidelines that this double album does: wanky, funny as hell, and frequently majestic. But definitely wanky. It can be hard to determine whether the wanking is an ironic statement on wanking, or indeed an earnest attempt to wank. Regardless, if a band is gonna wank, I'd much rather it be Ween than some crappy shit like Phish or Dave Mathews Band. I think any fan of good music would agree. See, I initially dissed this album (badly) because of the two 30 minute songs and the fact that (when I first heard it) the sound quality on disc one was questionable. However, that was BEFORE I got Pure Guava, and now I realize that the live versions of "Cover It With Gas and Set it on Fire" and "Mountain Dew" are actually normal-sounding compared with the aforementioned album!