special introductory
paragraph!
Trans Am
Surrender To The Night
The Surveillance
Futureworld
You Can Always Get What You
Want
Red Line
Double Exposure EP (with the
Fucking Champs)
T.A.
Extremixxx EP
Liberation
Sex Change
It must be a difficult thing to play in a band
with Mark Prindle, genius, because afterwards no matter how much fame and fortune you
enjoy in your musical career, you still wake up every morning thinking to yourself, "Do
you realize I GAVE UP being in a band with Mark Prindle just so I could go on to release
eight records and become an extremely popular underground artist?" Alas, this is how
Trans Am bassist/synthesizerist/vocalist Nathan Means must scrape through his
sorrowful existence of pain. You see, Nathan and I played in a band in college called
Lima. We had some pretty good songs here and there, but no clear direction (especially
since I tended to turn our live shows into dumb comedy/performance art things while the
other two guys tried to figure out why the songs kept falling apart). So, after just a
few
months and one live show that was really, truly awful thanks to an ill-suited female
singer
(that I picked because she was a friend of mine) and the fact that I broke a string when
Nathan and I did a Venom-style "hold the guitar and bass up in the air like swords and
rub the necks against each other" bit, Nathan left to spend a semester abroad. By the
time
he returned, Lima had gone through reportedly FIVE more bass players before a
completely unspoken breakup after a miserable show in the world-famous Cat's Cradle (a
show that I began by stabbing a lifesize cardboard standup of Andrew Dice Clay and
throwing red food coloring all over everyone in front of the stage). He returned to his
old
band Trans Am (Original name: Fly. Original sound: Fugazi,) which had unexpectedly
become a completely kickass three-piece instrumental combo -- and I changed my name
to Justin Timberlake and went on to fame and fortune with four gay friends of mine.
The first thing you're like-all to notice about Trans Am is
that you just listened to it for half an hour, it's over and no words ever came out.
That's
because Trans Am began their recording career as an instrumental combo! At this time,
their sound revolved around taking `70s rock styles and merging them with a "post-rock"
(don't blame me - I didn't make up the stupid term) cold emotionless void of studio
perfection. Although old-timey synths ARE present, they haven't yet begun to play the
overriding role that they would on later Trans Am records - it's mostly stony simplistic
bass notes, catchy groovy rock guitar licks (through various effects) and intense,
spirited
drumming. Trans Am was an astonishing live band at this time, so when the record
came out, I personally was disappointed. And jealous, of course, but the immature
shortcomings of my early adulthood are not on trial here. It sounded to me like half a
band. Why didn't the guitarist do more? Why did Nathan just thwub thwub thwub away
on one or two bass notes like he was in Public Image Ltd. or Can or something? Why did
the guitar go away whenever a synth would come in? And definitely without a doubt
most importantly - why is the cover art so boring, cheap-looking and shitty? Years
later, all of my answers were revealed. Unfortunately, I wasn't there at the time and
the
little magical knowledge tree in my backyard refuses to repeat itself. Now it's just out
there reciting hockey statistics like I give an Air Force One (euphemism for "flying
fuck"
- get it????). So based on what I do know - I hear lots of great - though minimalist -
collections of fuzzy synth/bass notes, great drumming almost tribal in its business and a
rock and roll-trained guitarist pushing his way into THE FUTURE! Great mix on the
record - everything is really loud. And Zounds! What sounds! Your favorite classic
rock bands are recalled left and right! The Alex Lifeson 5/4 explorations of
"Ballbados"!
The Canned Heat "On The Road Again" smooth groove of "Enforcer"! The "Tom
Sawyer" phased synth breakdown of "Firepoker"! The James Gang low-down hard-
rockin' sweatfunk of "Orlando"! The . Christ, I don't know. Nazareth? Kiss? The
emotional yet dark delayed backward-sounding guitar line to "Love Affair"! The
"Mexican Radio" synth insanity of "American Kooter"! The Fugazi soundalike of
"Trans Am"! The boring John Cage-esque one-note pulse of "A Single Ray Of Light On
A Cloudy Day"! And THAT'S what must be pointed out most vividly and caressingly.
This GODDAMNED BAMNED are far too eager to put little snippets of synth drums or
drones onto their records, dandy them up with song titles like they're a real song - and
CHEAT AMERICANS OUT OF AMERICAN JOBS. Oh I'm sorry - when you said
"Trans Am," I automatically thought of that house full of Mexicans on the corner.
The second Trans Am car has a darker, more mature,
produced, adult, musical mood than the first one, thanks to a great album cover showing
the sun disappearing over the horizon. The songs are Tight! The bass lines are Great!
And there are lots of different drum textures on account of the drummer Sebastian "Bach
of Skid Row Fame" Thompson doing all sorts of fishbirdtree Express with drum kits and
machines. That's right - machines! Like a modern-day Bill Bruford, Sebastian
Thompson isn't afraid to relinquish his hard-hitting, powerful drum style in favor of
soulless, pussyass tip-tip-tip treble-pippy fake drums of shit. Speaking of really
positive goodness, Surrender To Bob Hite is also a much more emotional album
than the first one, though still instrumental, meaning that the emotions conjured by the
notes are really all in your mind, Mr. Crazy Man (or Mr. Crazy Woman) who can't tell
the difference between real feelings and fake ones implanted in your psyche by a big
Hollywood movie star, Trans Am. The music is very Breakfast Clubby in spots,
but not to the detriment of a person who desires moods galore. You're going to hear
guitar melancholy (Phil Manley on the asdjl), funk empowerment, early-rap Miami
Vice silliness, Tangerine Dream ambience, PIL dub bass, overmodulated-to-
distorting guitar/bass, romantic lush synth arrangements, industrial pulses, Aphex Twin-
style electricalonica = Trans Am are not at all a one-genre band. They flirt with
"electronic music," but the band members are just too normal and unpretentious to suck
cock like so many artists of that genre like to do. Plus they like rock too much --
though I
should clarify that only maybe one or two songs on here ROCK. It's pretty subdued
overall, like the album title and cover, which shows a man in a yellow hat drowning in
the ocean. Like every Trans Am product, it has a few non-tracks that I have no idea
WHO the hell is supposed to enjoy. For example, I enjoy the overmodulated ugly
distorted bass noise of "Rough Justice" - but why would I want to hear an entire track of
overmodulated fake drums immediately afterwards? And even more ircrucially, "Night
Dancing" is a recording of synth drums. AND NOTHING ELSE AT ALL. No effects,
no blips, no bass - just synth drums. I hate to be harsh, but this is completely
pointillistic, like the cover of the Misfits' Earth A.D. album, and that's ALL it
is.
Don't duck and cover though - it's a really darn good album that you can totally
make up your own lyrics to. Make them about FUCKIN'!!!! Example: "Tough Love"
might go "I got tough love/In my chimney sweeping broom of desire/Let me gently insert
it into your flue/Then pull it out and hit you with it, as if I was Richard
Pryor." Don't
use those exact lyrics though; they're from a Ravi Shankar album. Best,
More instrumental magic and wasted space from
kickboxing action star Jean-Claude Tran Samme. Four good rockers on this one!
Guitars, drum smashin', bass thumpin' - rock! It might be best not to discuss the other
six songs. Jesus just came down to Earth and said he wanted to know what I thought
about the other six. I tried to argue that he should just ask his Dad because he's all-
knowing, but Jesus replied, "That auto mechanic Mom balled behind Joseph's back was all-knowing?"
Then Buddha came to Earth and said he wanted to know what I thought
about the other six. I tried to argue that my opinions have nothing to do with
enlightenment, but two huge rolls of fat leapt out in anger and sucked me into his smelly
fat fuck of a body.
Then Allah came down to Earth and said he wanted to know what I
thought about the other six. But before I could answer, he just got mad and drove
a plane into my building.
Then Lord Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva came down to Earth
and said they wanted to know what I thought about the other six. So I whipped out my
dick and jerked off all over the pieces of shit. Then Satan came up to Earth and said
he wanted to know what I thought about the other six. As I love and worship Satan, I
answered. The other six songs are electronic music ranging from
creepy Meat Beat Manifesto frightening cold beeping to blissful Kraftwerkica
to (at some point, I accidentally deleted the rest of this sentence. I'm sorry about that).
Unfortunately for us, the viewers of the music (if you throw ink in the air in front
of
the speakers, you can see the sound waves drifting across the room - try it!). a bit too
much of this disc is turned over to minimalist pip-pip-pipping that anybody with a Casio
keyboard can listen to just by pushing maybe three keys and a button. "Endgame"? It's a
corrosive air noise followed by a drone. CALL DICK CLARK! "E.S.I."? That's a
high tinny synth pulse. CALL CASEY KASEM! "Shadow Boogie"?
That's a fake drumbeat. CALL RICK DEES! AND TELL HIM HOW MUCH YOU
CAN'T WAIT FOR HIM TO RELEASE "GET NEKKID 2K3: EAT MY SHORTS AGAIN!" Half of the CD is great - really solid great driving cool wonderful rock music.
The other half is so spotty, they should have named the CD The Dallmeitiance.
Ha! Do you get it? Read it again! Read it again til you get it! It was great! Read
it
again! AGAIN! (read it as "dalmations") Read it again!
It's official! Here we are in the future - the future where
people put WORDS in their songs! Four of these ten songs feature whispered or robotic
vocoder synth vocals, and the speaking world couldn't be happier. Let's see what we
have here. Hmm. Let's see. Okay, yes. YES! No. No? Okay no. YES! What?
Great! Okay, we've come to a consensus. What we have here is one HELL of a good
Trans Am CD - their best yet! Whether you're a fan of uptempo modal Neu-style
Krautrock, aggressive heavy metal, beautiful Hendrix-style soul guitar licking,
Kraftwerky robotic `70s futurism, industrial noise, sleazy cocaine-induced Pink
Floyd/Steely Dan cocktail lounge, Hawkwind-style speed-driven sci-fi drama or lost,
lonely echoing saxophone heartbreak - you're going to find something on here to LUST.
The hooks and sounds are compelling, and the stylistic diversity will only leave you
guessing. Guessing about the things you really oughta know. Ho. Ho. You really
oughta know-oo-ow. The only complaint that you'll hear rising from my ashes is that
every single song on here drags on for far too long. Once you're past track one, not a
single one of the next nine songs ends in less than three minutes and forty-five seconds.
The title track is goddamngead seven minutes long! And these guys aren't exactly "Bob
Lotsofdifferentparts" if you catch my drift. Take it from me - there's a reason that
this
band isn't called "Trans Sevenoreightdifferentpartsineverysong." And the reason is
because that would be a really stupid name for a band.
I know for a fact that people from all walks of life will
attempt to deceive you with their corporate lies about this album, but for length,
diversity
and showcase of all that is Trans Ammy, one cannot argue against this "warts, sods and
all" collection of warts, which if you dig underneath them, also includes a CD of music.
This is LIVE versions of great songs, ALTERNATE versions of other magnifique songs
(Oops! Sorry! Didn't mean to speak French there! No sir, this site is for FREEDOM
languages only! Would anybody like a Freedom Kiss?), songs from singles and rarities
so rare even the BAND doesn't know that I hilariously snuck them onto this album (like
the entire second side of Styx's Pieces Of Eight, which I've wittily entitled
"Love Commander" - Ha! Yay for me! And America's Freedom under the Liberty
Flag!). Standouts include "Simulacrum," a grinding rock pound that speeds up DURING
each line! I hope this is Nathan's sly way of referencing an old Lima song that we made
up to make fun of our drummer's proclivity to slow all our punk songs down midway
through out of sheer fatigue and no mean-spiritedness on his part (a song that eventually
turned up on my old band Low-Maintenance Perennials' cassette Chicago XX:
Chicago's Greatest Hits as "Most Weather Sucks (My Ballsac)," until it was unfairly
removed from the recording during it shortening from 90-minute tape to 74-minute
CDR), but I have a feeling it has nothing to do with it, so if you'd like, you can go
back
and not read this sentence. Standouts also include the laugh-out-lloyd sci-fi
melodramedy "Now You Die, Thriddle Fool," the impressively impressionistic musique
concrete art piece "Security Breach" (which details, through synthesizer noise alone, the
entire scene of a person sneaking into an industrial complex, setting off an alarm and
running away from the police and helicopters - the alarm noises are so high-pitched, they
made my special doggy cry! I love him!) and "Illegal Ass," which is a standout in the
sense that I'd rather "standout side" until the boring piece of shit synth fuckleberry is
over and life inside has gotten betterly improved for all. Kraftwerk synths,
bass-driven
aggressive rock ("aggro" is a stupid fake word - YOU AGREE WITH ME!), novelty, art,
beautiful teen angst romantic prettiness, hot live action and lots of free eggs - you'll
find
them all HERE, in Trans Am's You Can Always Get What You Want (Remastered
With Eggs Version). Reminds me of one time I saw hilarious comedyman Neil
Hamburger opening for Trans Am at a NYC club full of indie rockers. First the kids
were confused by his "unfunny" act, then they got it and laughed hiply, then they
realized
he wasn't going to stop and they started getting bored and extremely belligerent (for hip
people) and shouting "TRANS AM!!!! TRANS AM!!! TRANS AM!!!!" Mr.
Hamburger read the news in black and white and responded despondently, "Oh, I
understand. You want Trans Am, huh? You wanna hear Trans Am?" (crowd roars)
"Well then, let me be the one. to proudly present.. Ladies and gentlemen..
TRAAAAANS AAAAAAM merchandise, which can be purchased at the merchandise
booth at the back of the hall a little later. But right now, we've got another hour and
a
half of comedy to do, so..." Ahhh memories. Especially really painful ones, like
my Dad screaming at me every summer for ten years because I sucked at baseball.
Interesting thing about instrumental bands - when they
sing for you, you feel like the band is giving you a special present! You don't normally
think such things, so it is to Trans Am's whatever-word-goes-here (not "detriment" or
"supplement"; not "pleasure" or "misdemeanor" - maybe I'll think of it later) that they
are able to make the spoken human voice seem special again. The Red Line (foot to
the floor) Red Line (slow pace is a bore) Red Line (yourself you've just passed) Red Line
(you still come in last!) Red Line (copyright DRI 1987) CD is double-album-length and
full of hot to trot smirking song titles like "Diabolical Cracker," "Don't Bundle Me" and
"Where Do You Want To Fuck Today?" It also - at least for a WHILE - seems like the
power quartet (if you count all the members' shoes as one big collective person like I
do)
has finally learned that the best way to make a quirky non-song sound interesting is to
make it come in and go away - QUICKLY. It's like an equation: QUIRKY +
QUICKLY = QUILLER!!! (killer). Thus, such synth blurbles and flippity-pippets as
"Let's Listen To One Romantic Synth Note For 45 Seconds" (perhaps better known as
"Let's Take The Fresh Step Together"), "Echoal Drumday" (perhaps referenced among
the populace as "Casual Friday") and "Mr. Disturbingly Popped-And-Crackly Vocals
With Fake Drums And A Two-Note Surf-Spy Bass Line" (oh sorry - YOU probably
know him as "Mr. Simmons") come across less like wastes of space and more like great,
experimental bridges between longer, more fully developed numbers like the rockin'
Kraftwerk dance stabber "I Want It All," the angry Nitzer Ebb distorto-synth aggression
of "Polizei (Zu Spat)" and the old-school Trans Am drums-bass-guitar hard-hitting loud
pop rock coolness of "Play In The Summer." Unfortunately, halfway through, the
non-songs get longer, the long-songs lick donger and "The `Am" come dangerously close
to penning a hot new self-help book entitled How To Ruin A Great Album. But,
as Milli Vanilli once sang, blame it on the length. There's no reason for them to have
jammed 21 tracks on here. I'm "all crazy and wild" about bands voiding on canvas, but
am I nuts or is "Bad Cat" a jam session so shitty and disconnected that it makes the Sun
City Girls sound as tight as Britney Spears' snatch (when she was like four)? Or say!
Have you heard "Talk You All Tight"? Or perhaps I should instead ask "Say! Have you
ever plunged needles into your eyeballs over and over for a full five minutes?" Oh,
but who am I to judge? After all, how many songs have I written? (hundreds).
How many CDs have I recorded? (we'll say 5 or 6 that I'm proud of, though the
actual number is more like 20 or 21) Where do I get off criticizing other peoples' work
when I probably can't even play an instrument? (I play guitar and bass, and fiddle
around with lots of other stuff) I should go back and listen to the Spice Girls or
whatever
shit I listen to if I can't appreciate kickass hard rock! (honestly, the first couple
Spice
Girls CDs are kinda cute! Yet somehow, it IS possible to listen to music that is neither
another person's favorite band NOR that same person's least favorite band.). In other
words, Trans Am aren't changing their style a whole lot, but they play such a diverse
range of material anyway (though generally electronic - not modern dance electronics
though! 60s/70s electronics), you shouldn't consider that to be a bad thing. And if
this
CD has some stinkers near the end, it hardly changes the fact that there's like nine
genius
songs in the first half (and a few in the second half too, some might sign!). Since
we're speaking in English, I have a strange question to ask you. There's this guy I know
whose wife is about to have a baby. Don't you think it would be really funny if she gave
birth and it was just a big pile of shit that LOOKED like a baby? I just love the idea
of
the doctor having to explain, "Hmm. I guess waste was slowly leaking from your
bowels into your womb all this time. But you gotta admit - it sure LOOKS like a
baby!" On a related note, did you think it was hilarious today when I told Rich
Bunnell that I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21 "unless you count rape, in which
case lower it to like 6"? Or how about when I drew this little emoticon:
While writing this, I'm struck by the knowledge that I
have never heard the band "The Fucking Asshole Champs." And now I want to, because
this CD, though as short as Herve Villechaize, is nevertheless as great as Ricardo
Montalban! Furthermore, the production is as professional as Christopher Hewitt, the
rock mood is impressively `70sish as Wendy Schaal and whoever the hell is playing the
guitar on here bares his soul as naked as Kimberly Beck. The disc starts off with a big
Judas Priest British heavy metal tune confused into alternative rockness by its low-key
Greg Sagey vocals, sways into an avant-rock sample-guitar-noise-synth Whitesnakey
violiny dance suspenstrumental, burrows forth into a Jimmy Page-style acoustic
impressive-fest of folk beauty and beauty flute - before a Cheap Trick harmony-guitar
light metal version of same and brilliantly spooky new wave keyboard flapjack end the
short record of smoot in a happenstance of curlywig. Bjoov! So what we have are
five very mature REAL-sounding songs full of great writing and playing - as well as lots
of expert (wank) guitar solos that I assume are by the Champs guy since the Trans Am
guy has definitely never played in quite such a classic rock music-your-Dad-would-love-
and-think-of-as-serious style. I PERSONALLY think that making this record with the
Frigging Yams made Trans Am realize how easily they could turn their lo-fi "ironic"
approach into a professional full-sounding radio-ready masterpiece of ridiculousness (see
next review), but don't put too much credence into the theory because usually everything
I think is wrong (especially about JFK being assassinated by the Olsen Twins - I STILL
don't know where I got THAT idea!). (But I'll defend it until death because I know
for a FACT that there was a second gunman. And who else could it be? That's right!
The Olsen Twins!)
Nathan Means "Business" told me in an interview you
can find on this very site that CRITICS accused the band of being too silly on this CD.
I
don't think I have to tell you what part of my body CRITICS can smell if that's their
attitude about artistic vision in today's scary Iraq War world. George R. Bush is about
to
launch 55 missiles into Baghdad, every country in the world except Britain hates us
(specifically YOU, they told me) and we've changed the name of "French Fries" to
"Freedom Fries" just like back during the Korean War when we changed all the little tags
on our clothes to say "Made In Shitsville, Shitcountry." But we are not here to discuss
Politics. We're here to explain why, according to Nathan "Living Above His" Means,
the critics think this CD is too silly. Here's what I think: Come on, concentrate!
Use
your psychic powers to enter my brain and uncover my very thoughts! Why YES!
That IS your grandfather naked! Good work! As for the CD, Trans Am have
*BECOME* what they used to "ironically" poke fun at. On this release, they are an `80s
synth-pop-rock band. The production is perfect mid-80s, the vocals are smooth and faux-
Brit and the songwriting is total New Order/Depeche Mode/Breakfast Club
soundtrack/Nitzer Ebb ridiculousness. And it's FUCKIN' GRATE!!!!! An uproariously
slicked up, seemingly serious (or IS it?) and catchy as hell recasting of Trans Am's
youthful experimental electronic postrockism into what could honestly pass for slightly
quirky alternative synth/guitar new wave-ish pop from 1984. (Even at its most Trans
Ammy, this material could EASILY pass for Wall of Voodoo!). I love it. I love the
Italian rap song "Basta," I love the Devo/Cars fast punkish wave of excitement "Run
With Me," I love the dark bass/synth wash attack "C Sick," I love the straight guitar
rocker "Positive People," I love the watery flanged funk bass and violin scraping of
"Different Kind of Love" and I absolutely ADORE all the kooky distorted bouncy synth
music I have cleverly found elsewhere on the release. (Listen BETWEEN the little
pieces of digital code and you'll hear what I'm talking about) If you're looking for
postmodern ironic college music, you probably shouldn't get this CD. Because - even if
they ARE joking (which remains to be seen - it sounds GOOD enough to be serious!),
their joke is about a certain period of time that most people young and old have
struggled
for two decades to forget: The Reagan Years. When Ronald Reagan passed a law saying
that he got to sing lead on every album anybody made. And it SUCKED SO BAD!!!!
Aside from all the Rush albums which improved fifty-fold, it SUCKED SO BAD!!!!
There's just not a whole lot of point to this. Six remixes of T.A. material; however, only THREE songs from that album are actually reworked. Instead of presenting a wide range of remixed tracks from that record, we get one "Infinite Wavelength," two "Cold War"s and THREE!!!! (!!!!!!) "Different Kind Of Love"s!!!! Who are the gas station attendants who came up with THIS idea? Here's what's here: Tortoise's John Herdon chops up "Cold War" into a herky-jerky electronica headache bastard; Ann Arbor's Tadd Mullinix slows down the formerly punk-speed "Infinite Wavelength" and replaces the killer melody with ambient synthesizer tones; "Jonathan K" (who I assume is band pal and occasional guest keyboardist Jonathan Krienik) converts "Cold War" into a very cool rockin' fuzz dance track with an actual MELODY (instead of the one repeated note of the original); San Francisco-based hip hop producer and black man Dan Nakamura adds additional keyboard lines to "Different Kind Of Love," as well as boxing the ping-pong stereo drums into a traditional (boring) static hip-hop beat; and finally hip-hop producer/experimental artist Scott Herren sluggishly drags down the rhythm of that very same song I just named and adds in high-end synth tones and some new, extremely dark chord changes -- presenting his work in both normal and instrumental versions. It's an interesting idea, I suppose, and the tracks certainly were fucked around with nice and good, but what's the point when only ONE remix (Jonathan K's "Cold War") is an actual improvement on the original? It's basically like what would happen if somebody took the Beatles' classic Let It Be LP and removed all the fun studio chatter and Phil Spector production. Can you imagine some asshole trying to get away with something like that? He'd be laughed all the way to the sperm bank! Where he would then be broken down into his original sperm and egg and THROWN AWAY! In separate containers to avoid being born again! Because I hate fuckin' Christians! It's always "man-on-top this, woman-on-bottom that, gotta-be-married this, no-69s that." FUCK YOU, ALTAMONT SPEEDWAY!!!
America's favorite sports car is back at your ass for the '04 with a album for old fans. Possibly stung by accusations of suckassiness (with which I wholeheartedly disagree), the Ams retreated from the on-the-nose '80s nostalgia of Tits And Ass to go back to the sound the kids dig -- electronic music and funky bass/guitar hard technology rock. Consider this the "Back To The Known" of the Washington DC trio, if you're a huge, monstrous Bad Religion fag. Oops! I meant "fan"! Oops! I meant "fag!" On this CD, Trans Ma finally admits to their Washington "Nation's Capital of Corruption" DC origins with a work somewhat focused around our current administration's "War On Terror," a disgusting propaganda machine geared towards idiots like Dennis Miller who think Bush is a "tough president" because the fucking pussy has the "guts" to send a bunch of kids he's never met to DIE in Irag. What "GUTS" that man has! Can I do that too? Will that make me tough if I hire a bunch of people to do my fighting for me? Bush is a piece of shit. I hope he gets murdered. I hope they ALL get murdered, the corrupt pieces of human garbage. Trans Am knows it. I know it. Al Franken knows it. Dennis Miller is a bearded pile of fuck. But that's not fair, to focus a review on a shitty President. Let's talk about the music. Fantastic production! Beautiful phased bass and guitar tones, and a ton of excellent riffs and hooks, both bass-wise and keyboard-wise. This is definitely a return to their most appreciated sound, and fans confused by the last record will dig the hell out of it. The overall mood is pretty dark, to suit that of our current world situation. Only a few songs have lyrics, but a few others feature political samples pulled out of context and twisted into more honest interpretations (example: "The battle of Irag will destroy hospitals and schools."). One track is a 5-second Flipper sample. Another sounds like the intro to "Let My Love Open The Door." A third features high-speed bongos. A fourth plops a D.C. weather forecast on top of three synth notes, then speed manipulates the meteorologist's voice until his announcements are in the exact same KEY as the music!!!! I love Trans Am. I admit that I used to just be jealous of them, but I'll be fucked in the eye socket if they haven't turned out to be one fucking fantastic electro-rock band. Their hooks are hot, their tones are futuristic and wild, and their sense of humor is smart as hell (how else to explain song titles like "Pretty Close To The Edge" and "Is Trans Am Really Your Friend?"). Thank you, Trans Am, for "the beginning of the end of America." Only complaints are that a few of the less evocative tracks are dragged on too long. But that's a pretty common thing with Trans Am. They probably do it just to piss my off off. Dance to the future of music, and leave your nu-metal on the coat rack. Trans Am are the voice of our nation's 30-year-olds.
Maybe I'm just bored with the soapbox in general--and I say this as someone who hates Bush and lives in DC too, so I get to see Trans Am live all the time and hear these songs played over and over again--but it's just a little bit too preachy for me. Put it another way. Remember Frank Zappa's song "Porn Wars?" That one that's more interesting as a historical document than as an actual song? Yeah, this whole album is like that. Bleah.
Can you imagine a Trans Am/Canned Hamm double-bill? I'd shit a turd.
Although its racy title hints that our boys are finally following through on the promise of their band name (Transexual Amateurs), Sex Change turns out to just be another bunch of mostly-instrumental hook-filled melodic goodness gracious. The Internet tells us that they recorded this album using somebody else's equipment and that it represents a major departure from their previous work, but I perplexedly hear yet another strong, diverse collection of electronic pop/dance/rock/funk/alternative/disco songs. It might have a bit more guitar presence than their others, but I haven't done a side-by-side comparison or anything. How many stereos do you think I have?
Some of the many exclamations I jotted down while listening include "New wave! Guitar rock! Sex beat! Psychedelic! Disco! '80s Electro-pop! Pretty music! TV theme songs! Romance! Action! Grunge! Uptempo beats! Gap Band! Beautiful wordless vocal harmonies! Smashing Pumpkins! David Gilmour! Unrest! Happiness! Melancholy! Dance! Some of the endings drag on too long!" And all this is true and more.
Most importantly, however, are the melodies. Whether propelling your car through the '80s streets of Miami with nighttime synth-rocker "North East Rising Sun," soothing your pastoral morning soul with the early '70s Pink Floyd beauty of "First Words," kicking your headbanging loud-rock drone ass with "Conspiracy Of The Gods," making your memory weep with lost yesterdays at the echoing guitar swoops and nostalgic ambience of "4,738 Regrets," changing emotion eight different times in a single chord sequence in "Reprieve," announcing the opening credits of C.H.I.P.S. '07 with "Tesco v. Sainsbury's," or playing shitty grunge in "Shining Path," the.
Members of the Mark Prindle Fantasy Musical Band League might note that they invited Grant Tennille, another guy I knew in college, to play guitar on two songs. There were a couple days when my voicemail wasn't working, so that's probably what happened there. No doubt you'll see my credit ridin' high on their next release! Heh heh heh. oooooooooo
Hey, are you an important fancy lawyer, newscaster or politician? If so, do me a favor. I think it would be really great if lots of important people (lawyers, newscasters, politicians) would start using the word 'Abso-Smurf-ly' all the time. Just in normal conversation, without calling attention to it. Here, let me give you a few examples:
Judge: "Even though he was caught in the act of murdering his entire neighborhood, you're honestly trying to tell me that your client was just baking cookies for the handicapped?"
Some Asshole: "Hay, let's watch the news." (*turns TV on*)
Washington DC Newspaperman: "So what are your thoughts on Social Security?"
Make no mistake: I am no Smurfs fan by trade. I just enjoy the way that the resolute, determined, George Bush-like "Absolutely" is so easily converted into a puffy stupid little marshmallow fag word with the replacement of a single syllable. Also, saying it makes your mouth feel really awkward, which rules.
Returning to the car-monikered band at hand, Trans Am is very good at crafting intelligent, mature and stylistically diverse instrumental music for synthesizer, guitar and drums. If you're a Trans Am fan, Sex Change is a definite must-purchase; the beats are propulsive and the songwriting is (mostly) very strong. Also, there's this awesome horse on the back cover. He's just a drawing, but he's adorable and I love him.
The front cover, on the other hand, looks like somebody rubbed their dick in the fireplace and ran it up and down a piece of paper until it lopped off. Sex Change? More like SEX Change, if you adfkajegdsa gr
I have the first album! Is good? Yes! Is good! Unless you can't get past
the lack of vocals! But I can, because I have a more sophisticated
palette now than when I was a metalhead in grade 7. 6 long years ago. In
summary: Trans Am's first album is good! Heavy metal sucks! What was I
thinking!? GAH!! To think I once liked heavy metal! I was twelve! I got
over it! Give me a break! STOP JUDGING ME!! I also liked the cover art
on this album. It's better than anything I could have done. Go and buy
this, and every other Trans Am album now!
Mr.
Trying Too Hard
:7) 3
*
and then started raving about how "I'M GONNA FUCK THAT
EMOTICON!!!!!" and then drew THIS little emoticon?
:7O 3 *
C===============
I don't know - sometimes I feel like my parents shouldn't
have taught me to read by chaining me under the house with 900 issues of Screw
magazine.
Not to be sycophantic, but you are right. The only problem with this otherwise amazing album is it's length--kind of like what you've depicted in your emoticon.
good call! indeed, contrary to what many critics would
have you believe, this is a great record. admittedly,
there are a couple tracks that I find a little hard to
take, but who could deny how wonderful a song like
"Cold War" is? your Breakfast Club soundtrack
comparison is right on - I had the exact same thought
when I first heard it. the next song sounds a lot like
INXS, but it's good! I suppose if someone has a strong
distaste for 80s pop nostalgia, they ought to steer
away from this. me? I don't give a crap. I was a just
a little lad throughout that decade. this is good
stuff! not amateur-ish at all, I might add. very well done.
they peaked with future world, now they suck shit. and whats with the
disco remixes of what was already disco rehash on the new TA remix
record - how redundant!
This has been on my player non stop. By now I know exactly which tracks to skip for a smooth ride. Yes Mark, Trans Am gooooood, Bush baaaaad.
You just made my day with your review of liberation. Your political commentary is exactly what I needed. - thanks
Sorry Marky, the forgotten Ramone and Menudo Groupie, but I just can't like this one all that much.
You, An Important Lawyer: "Abso-Smurf-ly, your honor. Those foolish people just ran into the path of his baking knife."
You, An Important Newscaster: "Diane, that was abso-Smurf-ly the funniest rape story I've heard all week. In other news, a dog that can climb trees!"
You, An Important Politician: "I don't know, but Valerie Plame is abso-Smurf-ly a CIA agent."
As a long-time Trans Am fan, I find this the best thing they’ve done since Future World. The songs are just bracing. “Conspiracy of the Gods” sounds like a Joe Satriani track from ’87. My favorite Tans Am reference is about listening to a song on The Surveillance that sounded suspiciously like “The Song Remains the Same”. Then, I saw it was titled “The Campaign”…which my Zepfreak database-in-my-head reminded me was the original title for “The Song Remains the Same”!
To purchase a Trans Am CD, please click here. To purchase a Trans Am, grow a mustache and return to 1983.