Ted Nugent

Soft-spoken gentle poet
*special introductory paragraph!
*Ted Nugent And The Amboy Dukes: The Ultimate Collection
*Ted Nugent
*Free For All
*Cat Scratch Fever
*Double Live Gonzo!
*Weekend Warriors
*State Of Shock
*Live At Hammersmith '79
*Scream Dream
*Intensities In 10 Cities
*Nugent
*Penetrator
*Little Miss Dangerous
*If You Can't Lick 'Em...Lick 'Em
*Spirit Of The Wild
*Full Bluntal Nugity
*Craveman
*Love Grenade
*Sweden Rocks

Ted Nugent, or the "Motor City Madman," as he's known because I guess he's from Detroit or some crap, is a guitar-playin', animal-shootin', trash-talkin', clean-livin', long-haired conservative radio talk show host who started off his career in a psychedelic '60s band called the Amboy Dukes. They had a huge hit with an awesome psych tune called "Journey To The Center Of The Mind" that a young naive Nuge didn't realize was about drug use (ha!). By the time he left the Dukes and started a solo career, he was only member of the band that anybody knew by name anyway. Because he was a nutjob! He would run around in bearskins and bare chest, flailing around, playing annoying, endless wanky guitar solos while rockin' rockin' rockin' the town down - WAH-AH-AH-AH-AH!!!! His solo career was full of ups and downs (mostly downs I suppose), whether he sang for himself or had folks like MeatLoaf and Derek St. Holmes help out. Basically a lot of people hate the man because he kills animals and eats them. But look - my puppy dog loves to kill mice and rats and doesn't think twice about it so I hardly think that the killing of animals is necessarily an evil deed. I don't know - it's certainly not something that I would do myself just to keep meat on the plate, but as some jokester once said, "I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to wind up eating vegetables!" And why waste time hating Ted anyway when there are so many people killing PEOPLE that should be despised? (and no, I don't mean abortion doctors) In short, I may not love all of his music, but I still find Ted to be a pretty darn entertaining human being. At least he always says what he feels instead of hiding behind deceit like most folks are forced to do in the business world! If you want to hate him, at least hate him for a reason that's not hypocritical - you know, like his involvement with the Damn Yankees or something like that.


Ted Nugent And The Amboy Dukes: The Ultimate Collection - Dunhill Compact Classics 1987.
Rating = 7

Everybody has this image of him as a rough-and-tumble wild-eyed gonzo freak just as likely to be starting his own reactionary business as playing his guitar, but what a lot of people don't know about Kenny Rogers is that he started his career in a '60s "psych" garage rock band. Much the same can be said about another man -- Ted Nugent. Ted Nugent began his career in a late-60s band called "The Amboy Dukes." Best known for one of the greatest Nuggets chestnuts of all time -- "Journey To The Center Of The Mind" -- the band has otherwise been basically forgotten and lost in the sands of eras gone day. With this compilation, Dunhill Compact Classics is poised to CHANGE ALL THAT!

Okay, so the label lists two keyboardists, two bassists and two singers (in addition to Ted, rhythm guitarist Steve Farmer and drummer David Palmer -- who would have been a much better Carl replacement than Cozy Powell, but see if Emerson and his little assfuck friend pay any mind to my suggestion). So I'm going to assume that the band changed members a lot throughout their short-lived.....ahh.... life. About half of the songs are totally up the Nuggets, Pebbles alley -- fast tempos

WAIT WAIT! THIS IS FUNNY! So I'm sitting here reviewing this CD and I'm about to mention that the songs are split between psych garage songs and Cream-style blues guitar numbers, when I started paying closer attention to the song coming out of my computer speakers and realized, "Hmm... Well, this song is neither psych garage nor blues. It's just kind of a smooth light-hearted pop ballad. Hmm."

THEN I REMEMBERED THAT I WASN'T EVEN LISTENING TO THE FUCKING TED NUGENT CD!!!! IT'S SOME DUMBASS BAND CALLED "SLOAN" THAT RICH BUNNELL SENT ME!!!! So from this point on, when I say "Ted Nugent," that means I'm actually referring to a Canadian indie pop band of the '90s. Now back to that sentence.

, lots of Leslie speaker vibrato-ing organs and pianos, really busy bass, guitar that doesn't go off and solo for 65 years, a singer who seems to fancy his lyrics awfully deep and dramatic, and melodies that try quite desperately to sound "trippy" and "mind altering" while remaining kind of "stupid" and "laughable." But I'm not putting 'em down! I LIKE that kind of music! It sounds like drug music created by people who have never actually taken drugs. The other half of the album is the same sort of white boy blues rock that reefer-smoking coolsters were getting into in 1968 with their Blue (All-Temperature) Cheer and their Vanilla Fudge (Packers). Even some of these songs are good! Ted was already adept with his instrument and his guitar, yet his ego hadn't blown up and exploded all over an undeserving society by this point. So he just brings really good guitar playing to a slightly-above-average 60s loser garage rock band! Plus, the songs have funny names like "Flight Of The Byrd," "Down On Philips Escalator," "Saint Philips Friend," "Missionary Mary," "Scottish Tea" and my favorite "You Talk Sunshine, I Breathe Fire" (I didn't pay very close attention to the lyrics, but let's assume that this is a Ted Nugent anti-hippie statement, oke?)

I can't promise you that any of the Amboy Dukes' actual ALBUMS aren't a bunch of stapled-together pieces of crap, but if you run across this one -- which brags on the back "OVER 1 HOUR OF MUSIC - PLAY LOUD" - don't not buy it if a 7 seems high enough to you! Some of the songs really do lick butt ("Dr. Slingshot" is the absolute epitome personification of "generic shitty blues rock," and "Night Time" sounds like the most inept New York Dolls song ever, for just two of four possible examples), but even more are lots of superfun for lovers of '60s rarities!

Plus you don't have to listen to Ted run his mouth about the deep awe and respect that he feels for Nature as he guns down a bunch of sleeping baby deer.

Reader Comments

Thesigfamily@aol.com (fellow MICHIGAN SPORTSMAN)
I HIGHLY dought Ted ever shot a baby deer. This is a man who just happens to put a lot of his own time and money into DNR. I know for a fact that he also gives much of his time and resorcess to both disabiled & disadvanaged kids and adults, so they to can spend some time in the great out doors where other wise it my have not been possible . be careful in what you say of others taosterman, You may get burned !!

Rick.Nolan@freescale.com
Whoa, here! I agree "Nugent" was probably Nugen't's best-enduring effort.... but it wasn't that much better than "Tooth, Fang and Claw"... in fact, considering the musical landscape into which each was released, I'd say TF&C was the better record in it's day. Too coarse for any airplay (except a few edgy FM stations), but turn it up and hear those Marshall speaker stacks! Rythm guitar licks that will make your ears bleed!

In the first half of the '70s, these guys and Cactus were white guy soul music. If you haven't listened to TF&C, you need to do it.

kdonegan@docep.wa.gov.au (Kim, Perth, Western Australia)
I purchased "Tooth, Fang & Claw" not long ago on cassette. You can't go past "The Great White Buffalo", "Hibernation" and "Livin' In The Woods" for great early seventies American rock. Excellent stuff, as is Ted's seventies releases. Pity about the eighties (1982-1988).

Add your thoughts?


Ted Nugent - Epic 1975
Rating = 7

Well, if you're gwine be an inconsistible songwritress, you'd mayonnaise well establish it from the get-up-and-go. This nine-song LP shoots WILDASSly back and forth between fist-bangin' '70s hard rock gemstones like "Stormtroopin'" and "Just What The Doctor Ordered" and instantly forgettable semi-good but hardly-there genericisms like "Queen Of The Forest" and "Where Have You Been All My Life." Derek St. Holmes has a pleasantly smooth voice, Ted's guitar tone is lightly distorted and filthily raw like only '70s long hair rock could provide and the rhythm section is ehh you know, it's a rhythm section. And the songs themselves are simple little guitar-driven riff rockers in the finest hard rock tradition. Like less catchy Aerosmith, much less ambitious Led Zeppelin or every bit as good Grand Funk Railroad! But looking for a classic? Check out the ominous guitarathon album-starter "Stranglehold". Simmering, boiling - awesome wicked cool!!!!! Sounds like it should be on that Nazareth album with the scary cover!!!!

Yes that's right - No Jive!

Well, if you had any clue what that album cover looked like, you'd have laughed at that. Fuck you, you person unfamiliar with the shitty late-period work of Scotland's Nazareth!

Reader Comments

foland_ratzl@hotmail.com (Roland Fratzl)
Ted Nugent is insanely hilarious! Or hilariously insane? Just a few weeks ago I watched a profile on him on the biography channel (ooops I mean A&E!), and the best scene was when him and a camera crew were walking around the grounds of his ranch when suddenly they spot a keyboard standing next to some shrubs and Nuge reacts with disgust, yelling "WHAT??? A FRIGGIN' KEYBOARD!!! WE'LL HAVE NONE OF THAT!! IS NOTHIN' SACRED??" and then promptly loads his shotgun and blows it away! It was hilarious the way the fuckin thing exploded!

grant@grantedmonds.com (Grant Edmonds)
Ted Nugent needed to get away from the Amboy Dukes, and this here album is the reason. He even said himself that everything you ever wanted in a rock album is right here. Ted pretty much admitted this is as good as it gets, and he's right. This can't be touched by any other Nuge record. It has the song-writing, the energy, the rawness, everything. And damn, the first six songs kick ass! Especially "Stormtroopin'" and "Just What The Doctor Ordered."

irontyrant@earthlink.net (Michael Grefski)
Ted Nugent's debut was important in the middle seventies...wanna know why? Because it was actually hard rock/metal played with economy and taste. It wasn't about elves and pixies (Uriah Heep) or peace and love (Black Sabbath, ironically) and the godamned songs didn't have to last forever (Mountain's live albums...sheeeeeeeesh!). Nope, Ted brought us tight, compact cuts like "Stormtroopin'" "Just What The Doctor Ordered," "Motor City Madhouse," etc. Only "Stranglehold" which is a great tune in and of itself, pushes it's luck by hanging around too long. Thus hard rock compacted into chewy digestible nuggets would soon sell like griddle cakes, although the world did largely ingore Montrose until they were reborn as Van Halen a couple of years later. After that all you heard was lots of laughter all the way to the bank.

Add your thoughts?


Free For All - Epic 1976.
Rating = 8

Sophomore slump kicks in, with this record ever so slightly better than the origina - WAIT WHAT THE F

The sophomore slump is avoided here as Ted and such cohorts as Mr. Loaf, Meat turn in a batch of competent, unshitty hard rock songs exemplified by such low-energy but high-catchergy songs as the title track and "Dog Eat Dog," both of which shuffle along in a darn near disco-danceable manner! Grab your disco balls! Say, here's an interesting point about Nuge the Stuge: his music hardly ever reaches the gonzo levels that his public image would suggest. Sure, he runs around the stage a lot but the actual songs are nearly always midtempo chord sequences. Oh, he'll have the occasional speedy song per record ("Turn It Up" is a nice fast toe-tapper), but for the most part he's no more adrenaline-pumping than, say, Bob Lind or Brenton Wood.

Although Nugent only wrote six of these nine songs, the two "weak" ones are his. "Street Rats" sounds like a riff stolen from the first album and "Writing On The Wall" is a pointless, pathetic attempt to re-record "Stranglehold" with fewer notes and different lyrics. The rest are enjoyably passable! They're not so much BETTER than the songs on the first album - there's just a higher volume of actual "riffs" on this one. I don't know. I'm pretty noncommital about this 8. Feel free to lower it to a 7 if you're not a big fan of adequate hard rock. Or, if need be, to a negative 58 kablillion.

Reader Comments

grant@grantedmonds.com (Grant Edmonds)
My first Nugent pick-up. Loved it at first, but now I know better (I have the rest of his early stuff). Other than the two classics and "Light My Way", these are just B-sides. Energetic B-sides, but still not first rate. I still enjoy the album, but this is one of the few I have to listen to a lot because the songs don't stick in my head. I have to listen, say, "Oh yah, that song's okay", and then say it another five times ...which comes out to an okay album with two hits to bump it up a notch. And I never liked Meatloaf.... he doesn't do it for me on this album either.

Add your thoughts?


Cat Scratch Fever - Epic 1977.
Rating = 7

Side one makes you think your ass is in for the Ted experience of a lifetable with the moronic classic title cut smashing right into the ludicrously offensive "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" which then jobbles into "Death By Misadventure" (which appears to be about fellow Motor City boy Vincent Furnier's alcohol problem!), before Derek St. Holmes pandies about with a very pretty vocal melody in the otherwise not-as-great-as-it-is "Live It Up" (worth mentioning since most Nugent vocal melodies consist of semi-spoken shouts) before the side ends with the soaring instrumental "Home Bound," which most Gen Xers know as the Beastie Boys' filler track "The Biz Vs. The Nuge."

But then you flip the record over and side two is generic Ted Nugent music. Neither good nor bad. Just unnoticably mediocre. Ted has a cool rock and roll voice, by the way. I'm not sure why he hired outside folks to sing for him. I guess just because he wanted to focus on his penis extension.

By the way, I play the guitar and I've never once considered it to be an extension of my penis. For one thing, if you held your erect penis completely perpendicular sideways against your abdomen like that, it would hurt like hell. For another thing, when jizz squirts out of my guitar, I'm none too happy about it.

Reader Comments

grant@grantedmonds.com (Grant Edmonds)
In between Free For All and Ted Nugent as far as quality. Glad he got Derek back, Mr. Loaf just didn't cut the meat...The first half of this album is really solid, it took me a while to get into the second half, but it's grown on me. The classic title track, "Tales Of Misadventure," "A Thousand Knives," and especially "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang," all kick ass. If they don't get you off your ass playing air-guitar, I don't know what will!! Cat Scratch Fever is the last of the early classic raw albums. From this point on, Ted works on improving songwriting and production on his albums. Somewhat mixed reviews on these goals....

Add your thoughts?


Double Live Gonzo! - Epic 1978
Rating = 8

Isn't it hilarious how when John Lennon died, the whole world changed and everybody sat in bags for peace in honor of this important man who repaired society with his anthems of brotherly love -- yet when George Harrison died, everyone just went, "Who gives a shit?" I mean, the minister overseeing his funeral literally said, "Thank you Jesus for sparing the more talented Ringo." And surely they could have thought up a nicer epitaph than "Most of His Solo Albums Weren't Very Good"! But see, the nation's lethargic response to the second Beatle passage wasn't due to George Harrison being any less a creative force than John Lennon (though he was indeed a much, much lesser creative force); it's because he was permitted to live a quote-unquote "full life" quote-unquote while John Lennon was brought down at the width of his popularity by an axe-wielding maniac with a gun. But what exactly does that mean - a quote-unquote "full life" quote-unquote? Harrison died of his cancerous knife wounds before even reaching retirement age. And man, that's bullshit. Nobody should die at age 58, especially a rich famous person. But on a lighter note, if people must die in their late '50s, at least Ted Nugent is ripe to go!

Hi, I'm an elk. You know, when I'm not out socializing with my little elk friends or hiding my calf for 10 days after it's born, I like to listen to music on my impressively large antlers. And having just given a good solid listen to a copy of Double Live Gonzo! that fell out of an airplane, I must say that I very much prefer Nugent's classic '70s live show to his chasing me in a jeep and trying to kill me with a bow and arrow.

Give me that computer, you darned elk! Hi, this is Mark Prindle. I apoologize for my lateness; I was brushing my teeth and got hung up on this one huge stain. Turns out I was holding my arm incorrectly and brushing a used diaper out in the yard. On a related note, Ted Nugent recorded a double-album in so-and-so called 'thingy or something.'

Comprised of 4 Ted Nugent songs, 2 Cat Scratch Fevers, 2 new tracks, 1 cover tune and 2 from the Amboy Dukes' Tooth Fang & Claw album, this double-album showcases Terd Nugget's knack for a killer notes-and-chords hard rock guitar riff and love of sexism. For example, which of these two acts would you be less likely to perform: (a) writing a song called "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" or (b) dedicating it to "All that Nashville pussy"? Not that there's anything wrong with Nashville pussy; in accordance with state law, it's generally kept quite clean and odorless. But that's not the point. Most folk have more common sense than to shout something like that onto a record that little kids are going to be listening to. Next thing you know, these very same children are going to grow up, form their own band, and name it 'Nashville Pussy'! I'm kidding of course as this would never happen, but you see where my jive is at.

These tracks were recorded at 7 shows between June '76 and November '77, and Ted sings a ton of them (though not all). His guitar tone is bright, brash and noisy, and the recording is unfortunately fairly flat due to technical limitations of the day. The drums are buried and the whole thing is kinda monophonic. Still, the energy level is kept high and who doesn't want to listen to Ted soloing for 15 minutes in the middle of every song? My wife.

Regardless of your politics, Ted Nugent wrote some of the catchiest and most entertaining basic '70s hard rock riffs since Aerosmith and the original Alice Cooper band got together to form Nazareth. "Just What The Doctor Ordered" steals the "Paperback Writer" lick and turns it catchy! "Great White Buffalo" proves that Ted can play intricate notey riffs as quickly as any of your fancy-schmancy 'guitarists who practice and wear pants onstage.' And the quadruple-shot of headbanger "Stormtroopin'," brooding "Stranglehold," speedy dumb'n'fun "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" and ubiqitous "Cat Scratch Fever" should be enough to make a fan out of even the most Liberal Democrat Communist like Billary Clinton who wants to take all your hard-earned money and give it to poor people specifically for the purchase of crack cocaine.

However, not even the biggest guitar solo fan in the world needs to sit through all 14 minutes of "Hibernation." It's just a guitar solo! A noisy, annoying guitar solo! And what's with that ear-punishing scream from Shitland at the very end of the album? Couldn't that have been turned down a bit in the final mix? And while we're complaining about this fantastic hard rock classic, why no "Dog Eat Dog"? Why in fact are there no songs at ALL on here from Ted's second album? Come on Ted, cut off that moptop and let your BRAINS get through!

On a related note, have you ever noticed how similar the names "Ted Bundy" and "Ted Nugent" are? And isn't it strange that there are plenty of photos of each one separately, but never together? My theory is that Ted Nugent died in the electric chair and Ted Bundy is doing talk radio and dressing up coeds in deer suits so he can skin and eat them. TOO STRANGE TO BELIEVE!?!?!? Thing again! Do you have any BETTER reason for why Ted 'Nugent' albums suddenly started sucking balls upon Ted 'Bundy''s death in 1989 (and several years earlier)? I say the time is nigh to do away with this 'Nugent' imposter, just in case I'm right.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's rutting season and I'm highly vocal for an ungulate, or hoofed animal.

Reader Comments

jmrwl13@yahoo.com (James Rowlee)
DOUBLE LIVE GONZE AND TEH GREAT WHITE BUFFALO ! I remember it well because at that time they had terrible ted commercials with a little kid holding a two headed ted doll like from the exorcist kind of thing goin on..

it was awesome

horsemanure@gmail.com (Jonathan from Iowa)
Double Live Gonzo! is Ted's greatest outing. The edited-together stage patter/drum fills, and his relentless soloing make this a great record--just to imagine all the suede halter tops in the audience being swung overhead like lassos!

"Hibernation" is one of Ted's greatest guitar works, mostly because he uses mellow, Allmanesque jamming and builds to a bone-crunching Byrdland hump that moved me as a 15 year old. I was just learning about guitar feedback and amplification, and Ted really has it down as evidenced by these tunes. "Great White Buffalo" is the other giant on this gatefold double LP. This was the complete package--a huge dose of Ted in spandex with a tobacco sunburst Byrdland. This was back when he had some hearing left, mind you. The photos alone exalt the gatefold LP configuration.

One really big problem I have with this record as various tracks cycle through my iPod today, was brought to light in the VHS documentary, and seems so obvious on the CD versions: Ted's need to have the whole spotlight really ruined some great guitar jams with Derek St.Holmes. You can hear him playing what appears to be excellent slide work, and great lead/rhythm along with Ted's wailing licks. And when Ted takes a rest, there's this tiny tiny little guitar sound in there--probably bleedthrough to the drum mics--knowing his penchant for wanting to be the only guitar.

Note: The german video that circulates on P2P circa 70's must have been mixed by some outside person, because finally you can hear Derek's guitar along with Ted.

Anyway, probably Ted's best album, just to hear the gigantic stadium crowds and his interplay with them.

threegtrz@hotmail.com
It was pointed out to me by a friend that the following occurs during The Big Finish at the very end of this album:

(guitar noise that sounds something like MRAAAAAUGH!)
Nugent: San Antonio!
MRAAAAAUGH!
Nugent: San An-TON-io!
MRAAAAAUGH, MRAAAAAUGH!
Nugent (sotto voice): Suck my bone-ee-oh...

It's been over 20 years since I put myself through listening to DLG, but I'm sure this would show up with CD technology.

Kstew98772@aol.com
I have to disagree with you about Hibernation. This is not just a solo, I think it really shows Teds talent as a guitarest, he does some really fine playing here.

Add your thoughts?


Weekend Warriors - Epic 1978.
Rating = 8

REDNECKY! Really all of his early albums are, but I hadn't mentioned it before so there are you go - rednecky! Lots of twangin' sloppy fun in them thar goodtime riffs! But, like the Black Crowes at their best, the Nugentarian shoves lots of catchy simple hard rock fist splitting breast shitting riffs in there so the redneckiness isn't so much a turnoff.

The songs on here are wonderfully fantastalistic good pop metal. In my opinion, it's his most consistent record yet, with only like one truly bland song. As always, he tries to stay diverse, so once again this time 'round, he gives us some slow, menacing rock, a few fast punky "rave-ups - yeah!", lots of goodtime party hearty Sammy Hagar style beer rock (even though Ted is 'straight edge' and draws a magic marker X on the backs of his hands before he jumps into the mosh pit at every Slapshot gig) and even a really awful shitty piece of shit awful crappy shitty shit shit ballad of shitness! Aside from that one track, you can't loose with this album.

Can't loose your TROUSERS, that is!

Don't look at me - I don't write this stuff! I just take credit for it and pray to my Dark Christian Overlord that the actual writer never hears about my web site of plagiarism.

Reader Comments

grant@grantedmonds.com (Grant Edmonds)
If not for his stunning debut, this would easily be my favorite Nugent album. Not as raw as his first three, but songs are more solid and the energy is still definitely there. Aside from the slow bluesy "One Woman", this is the best collection of songs on a Nugent album. But the production.....it's not as loud, nor as one-take sounding as the last three. If it was, this would be my favorite hands-down. There is a great variety of tunes too, from the pop-rock of "Need You Bad" to the gothic-rock of "Venom Soup", to the commercial "Weekend Warriors" to the speed-rock of "Cruisin'" to the AC/DC boogie of "Good Friends And A Bottle Of Wine," etc.,etc.....this album covers all the bases. New singer, but similar enough to Derek St. Holmes to not know the difference, new bassist too. Too bad Tom Werman started to hand over the production chores....

Add your thoughts?


State Of Shock - Epic 1979.
Rating = 8

How can you fail to love an album whose first song (undoubtedly unknowingly) completely rips off Miles Davis' "So What"? A less heavy Kiss. That's another good description of Nugent's trademark rock and roll. It adheres to the Chuck Berry/Rolling Stones rules of "keep it simple, keep it dumb" (well... not all Rolling Stones music is dumb - but certainly the It's Only Rock And Roll album and Tattoo You and crap like that sticks to this tried-and-true formula) and just goes. Couple of verses, chorus, lots of lead soloing on top of the cranka-cranka rough and tumble '70s rhythm guitar and whee!

Charlie Huhn sings lead on both this and the last one, by the way. Another perfectly adequate vocalist (and Billy Squier soundalike) who will neither drive you away nor blow you away (nor, most likely, drive you home or blow you at home). Just like those that came before, he plays second fiddle to Nugent's guitar pyrotechnics and that had better fruckin' be enough!

I don't know. It's just guitar rock. I mean, these records most likely aren't going to blow anybody away at this point in rock and roll history, but they're still fun to listen to, and require NO brain energy at all. I feel like a fool giving out grades as high as 8 to these records, but they all sound darn near identical so really the grades are depending more on my particular mood I'm in when I play them than how "good" they actually are (not very). You might just want to consider this and all the albums that came before it to be one big dollar-bin box set. At least, that's where I found all his records. You don't think I'd pay TWO dollars for this nonsense, do you?

Reader Comments

grant@grantedmonds.com (Grant Edmonds)
The most serious Nuge record. In the style of Weekend Warriors (variety of songs, yet lacking raw power) with a tad less energy, and worse song quality. Production is actually a bit better-- it is altered to fit the mood of each song, unlike the last album which was sloppy the whole way through (although it tried to sound polished. Ironic that.) THIS is the polished sound I believe they were looking for on the last record. I personally still prefer the early Werman jobs done on the first three, especially the debut, but this is a nice change of pace. Again, it's Ted's most serious piece. The fun is there, but doesn't exactly bring a smile to the listener's face anymore. "Paralyzed" is "classic" Ted, albeit lesser Ted (still don't know why this is a classic. He's got four better songs on this album that he rarely played live). "It Doesn't Matter," "State Of Shock," and "Bite Down Hard" are all old-style Nuge, but all are the weakest tracks on the album. It's a good thing he tried new things here. For instance: "Alone" is the first bona-fide attempt Ted's made at a ballad, and it works. "Satisfied" is a new-style Ted rocker, and it kicks...as does "Saddle Sore", and my favorite on the album (and unfortunately the only song here with a metal bite) "Snake Charmer". A real potpourri of song-styles and quality on this one, that's for sure. Half great, half not so...but all interesting, and worth a listen.

Ghs9863@aol.com
why is this record deleted ,can someone tell me were i can buy it on cd,cheers

Add your thoughts?


Live At Hammersmith '79 - Sony 1997
Rating = 7

Recorded on May 9, 1979, this 75-minute live album (taped for the King Biscuit Flower Hour) features four songs from Ted's self-titled debut, two each from Free For All, Cat Scratch Fever and State Of Shock, and one each from Weekend Warriors and Double Live Gonzo. Vocals are split between the energetic Ted and the off-key and dull Charlie Huhn. The sound isn't super-crisp, but you can hear everything okay -- and with hot action rockers like "Just What The Doctor Ordered," "Dog Eat Dog," "Paralyzed," "Stranglehold" and "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang," how can one resist? Heck, even his solos are melodic!

But best of all, Ted's Nu-gentlemanly stage patter reveals once and for all his sagelike wisdom and maturity. Here then is a game called "Which of these statements are spoken by Ted Nugent on this CD?" Let's begin.

1. "WHOOOOOOOYEAH! ARE YOU READY? ARE YOU REALLY READY? ARE YOU READY TO ROCK YOUR FUCKIN' BALLS OFF? YAHYAHYAHYAHYAH! ME TOO! ME TOO! ME TOO! LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN ROCK MY FUCKIN' BALLS OFF TONIGHT! YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW! I KOW, I KNOW IT! I GOT THE FEELING! I SAID I GOT THE GODDAMN FEELIN', BABY! IT'S A FUCKIN' Free For All, BABY!"

2. "This next song's for all the starving children in Africa."

3. "WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL! ARE YOU WITH ME OUT THERE? I BELIEVE YOU! I BELIEVE YOU! I BELIEVE YOU! I BELIEVE YOU! I GOT NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER WHATSOEVER BABY, I GOT TO BELIEVE YOU! WE HAD A GOOD SHOW A LITTLE WHILE AGO, BUT I HAVE A FUNNY FEELIN' WE'RE GONNA LOSE OUR BRAINS NOW! 'CUZ I AIN'T EVEN WARMED UP YET, MAN! I AIN'T EVEN WARMED UP YET! WHOOO! YEAH! I BEEN TELLIN' THESE BOYS ABOUT LONDON TOWN! I TOLD 'EM YOU'RE NOTHIN' BUT A WILD BUNCH OF ROCK 'N ROLL DOGS! THAT'S WHAT I TOLD 'EM! I TOLD 'EM EVERY TIME I COME TO HAMMERSMITH ODEON, WE ROCK! WE ROCK! WE ROCK! WE ROCK! WE ROCK! I'M WITH YA, HOUND DOG! YOU ROCK 'N ROLL PUPPY DOGS! RUFF RUFF RUFF OW OWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

4. "If there are any sexists out there, get the hell out of my audience."

5. "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! A LITTLE 'CAT SCRATCH FEVER' ONE TIME FOR YA! ONE TIME, NOT TOO MANY MORE TIMES! JUST ONE TIME, BABY! GOTTA HAVE IT EVERY NIGHT! YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' BOUT -- THE KITTY KITTY KITTY BAD BAD KITTY KITTY 'CAT SCRATCH FEVER,' BABY! OOO YEAH! YOU GOT ME GOIN' NOW! FEELIN' JUST FINE! JUST KINDA CRUISIN', YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? OOOO YEAH! I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT! ANY WEEKEND WARRIORS OUT THERE TONIGHT? WEEKEND WARRIORS! SEVEN DAYS OF WEEKEND WARRIOR! I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT! I LIKE IT! I NEED IT! I CRAVE IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I MUST HAVE IT! I MUST HAVE IT! I SAID I NEED YOU BAD, BABY!"

6. "Tickets are half-price for all members of PETA."

7. "YEAH, I WAS WONDERIN', MY FRIENDS. I WAS WONDERIN', I WAS GIVIN' IT A LITTLE BIT OF THOUGHT, WOULD IT BE ALRIGHT WITH YA'ALL -- YOU'D LIKE SOME PICKS, WOULD YA? WOULD IT BE ALRIGHT WITH EVERYBODY IF WE PLAYED A COUPLE OF BRAND NEW SONGS TONIGHT? GOT NEW MATERIAL, GONNA MAKE A SUIT!"

8. "I'd now like to perform a piano ballad I wrote in honor of imprisoned Chinese dissident Zhao Changqing."

9. "THOSE KINDA THINGS GIVE ME SUCH A HEARTBEAT, BABY! MAKES MY HEART JUST GO THUMPITY THUMPITY THUMP THUMP THUMPITY THUMPITY THUMPITY THUMP THUMP THUMP! CAN YOU HEAR? CAN YOU HEAR? CAN YOU HEAR MY HEARTBEAT, LONDON? OUCH! DO YOU HEAR MY HEARTBEAT? I'VE GOT SUCH A HEARTBEAT FOR YA, BABY! SUCH A HEARTBEAT WHEN I'M ROCKIN' AND ROLLIN'! IT'S SUCH A HEARTBEAT THAT IT KINDA JUMPS OUTTA MY CHEST, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? AND SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES MY LITTLE HEART JUST KINDA BREAKS IN TWO! YOU KNOW WHY IT BREAKS IN TWO? BECAUSE I LOOK OUT THERE AND I KNOW I CAN'T EAT ALL THAT SWEET ENGLISH PUSSY OUT THERE! BUT I SURE AM GONNA TRY, BABY! I SURE AM GONNA GIVE IT MY BEST SHOT, BABY! YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT! YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN TALKIN' ABOUT! I NEED YOU, WANGY! I NEED YOU, DANGY! I NEED YOU, WANG DANG SWEET POONTANG!"

10. "Ladies and gentlemen, the London Symphony Orchestra."

Add your thoughts?


Scream Dream - Epic 1980.
Rating = 7

This is Ted at his Teddiest, meaning that he is totally over-the-top goofy and wildman rockering, but unfortunately he seems to be putting a lot less into the actual songwriting. The rock and roll is certainly fun, and it has two of his greatest, most exciting songs ever ("Wango Tango" and "Flesh And Blood"), but it also has a lot of by-the-numbers rock and rolling that sounds more like old ZZ Top than TT Nug. And Ted sings lead on all of it, adding to the goofy "whatever you do, don't take this seriously!" vibe. In quiet conclusion, Scream Dream features less diversity, more energy, less creativity and more fun than any of the records that preceded it. Buy it if that's what you're looking afore!

Reader Comments

grant@grantedmonds.com (Grant Edmonds)
On this record, Ted said FUCK IT and pretty much returned to his roots. The songs became secondary to the energy and raw production. Which is good and bad. While there are no bad tunes, not many hit you hard. "Wango Tango," "Scream Dream," and my fave "Flesh And Blood," do, but the others....Production is loud and clear (if only Ted accomplished this for Weekend Warriors). Solid album, just not memorable. Which actually ups it's enjoyment value: "I don't remember this song...Shit! That's pretty good....how does this one go again?...oh yah...that rocks!....how does that last one go again?....oh yah!" This is the last classic, must-buy Nugent record. From now on it's only polished, factory-tailored, only-buy-if-die-hard-fan Nugent music.

Add your thoughts?


Intensities In 10 Cities - Epic 1981.
Rating = 7

Really nice idea - the band recorded ten brand new rockers LIVE in ten different cities, showing off Ted's onstage energy and stupid as HELL stage patter (every song starts with a variation of "Here's a new one! You gonna like this one - it's a nice one!"). Somehow the sound quality is just as good as his studio recordings, which means they either had a hell of a stage setup or he wasted way too much money on studio time when he could have just recorded all of them while on tour! Stylistically it's just like the last one, choosing pure energy instead of a diverse showcase of songwriting talent. Lyrically it's just puerile as what came before, with one line in particular going so far off the deep end that it offends even me. That would be the spoken bit near the end of "Jailbait" where he shouts, "Don't put the handcuffs on me, Officer! Put 'em on HER! And I'll SHARE her with ya!" So umm.... that would be... ahh... RAPE then? That would certainly fit the mood of the next song, an idiotic rant called "I Am A Predator." What a stupid fuckhead!

Otherwise, what a great rockin' rollin' fuckhead!

Reader Comments

grant@grantedmonds.com (Grant Edmonds)
I do not own this album, but I know a couple of the songs. But since no one has written in yet, I thought I'd be the first....

What a simultaneously original and stupid idea! All new songs, all played live! I know what inspired it...the last three studio albums did not live up to expectations, so Ted figured, "what the fuck...I'll do a live one, where I'll get the sound I want!" 'Cause obviously that's been a problem with a couple of prior albums, namely Weekend Warriors and State Of Shock. The former is flat and undynamic, resulting in less punch, as well as some equalization-fiddling by the listener; the latter overly-produced and perfected, resulting in neither a live, nor inspired sound. And they sound worse on CD! I prefer State Of Shock sound-wise (if I had to choose), but this album leads to a further problem...song consistency. Weekend Warriors, an album over two decades old, is Ted's last great album. Therefore, production is not the only problem going on here. Unfortunately, by what I've heard musically and by word-of-mouth, Ted combines both problems here: it's still sub-par production (mostly due to the fact that it's live), and the songs still underachieve. Isn't it ironic, that Ted wanted to improve the production values since the "production failure" (in Ted's eyes) of Double Great Gonzo, only to make it worse than it's been before. And even worse...drag the songwriting down with it. If potential had been fulfilled on Weekend Warriors, State Of Shock, and Scream Dream (decent production, songs still inconsistent), Ted would be still kickin' today all over the radio, and be at least 3 times as popular as he is now....basically because he would not have resorted to putting out this Intensities live album, followed by the crappy 80's albums in order to make a buck and re-invent his legacy. (That sure worked, didn't it?!?) He could have kept making great rock and roll music thru the present day by sticking to his guns, both sound-wise and song-wise...

...who says production isn't important?

joeleduc@sbcglobal.net
my older brother bought this during his short-lived nugent phase (which i believe fell in between the short lived grand funk phase and the even shorter lived frank marino & mahogany rush phase) for $2 as a cutout. we never listened to the songs - just the introductions to the songs. it saved a lot of time that way, plus, no offence to the nuge, but no one, not even david crosby, could write a tune to live up to the title "my love is like a tire iron". i'm sure it is, ted. i'm sure it is.

Add your thoughts?


Nugent - Atlantic 1982.
Rating = 2

New label, new sound, new BAD! Somebody came up with the rotten idea of cleaning up Ted's act, making the sound more radio-friendly and boring. Plus, most of the songs just suck, coming across as a weak cross between Survivor and the worst of Foreigner. Derek St. Holmes is back singing lead again, which makes it all sound even slicker and less essential. Near the end, Ted tries to kick in the old-timey rock and roll power, but the riffs just sit there like a festering pile of maggot-ridden boils on Gene Siskel's rotting corpse.

Disappointing is an understatement. Hell, Piece Of Shit is an understatement. How a guy can sink so low within the span of one year is beyond me.

Reader Comments

grant@grantedmonds.com (Grant Edmonds)
Oh.......my......god.....

WHY DOES EVERYONE FEEL THE NEED TO SELL-OUT??? WHY???

Actually, I think I know why. It's just too bad. This album is probably on my top 10 "Worst Albums of all Time" list. "No, No, No" is the only song I would consider putting on a box set....not greatest hits which contain 10-16 songs. A box set, which contains "highlights" of an artist's career, about 40+ songs. And that's hard to justify too. Everything else will easily be seen by everybody as a piece of crap. Imagine everything Ted was his first three albums. Now take all of it away. That's what this is. Cheese, cheese, cheese. And I even enjoy cheese...WHEN DONE WELL. I would mention other songs in this review, but just naming them would make me twitch and hurl. STAY AWAY FROM THIS! (Unless you enjoy having convulsions, of course.)

pedroandino@msn.com
OH HOO HOO SO FUNNY! HEE HEE IT IS TO LAUGH! TED SOLD OUT ! HEE HEE HEEE! AND HEY! JUST LIKE THAT BABE PIA ZADORA! THE VIDEO FOR ROCK IT OUT IS SEXY! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! WE GONNA ROCK! LIKE HILLARY DUFF'S PANTIES! HER SWEET DELICIOUS SHAPELY FORM!

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO NO NO! HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! BLACK LEOTARD PANTS! YUM! EBONY IS A STUPID NIGGER SONG! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ! TAILGUNNER IS LIKE LASER WEAPON TO ZAP THE SWEET SEXY DUFF WITH THAT YUMMY FORM HOT SHAPELY LEGS SWEET PANTIES! DROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! I WILL CUM! RITE PRINDLE! ANYWAY ME SO HORNY!

sorry......... I just crakced up the album sucked!!.

nugent is the worst album of the 80's!.

Add your thoughts?


Penetrator - Atlantic 1984.
Rating = 2

More slick mid-80s nonsense. Singing? Brian Howe. Ended up replacing Paul Rodgers in Bad Company. Sounds like Lou Gramm. Music? Faceless pop rock with corny synths as loud as the guitars. A couple of stupid as shit stripped-down rockers remind you that this is a Nugent album; otherwise it honest-to-god sounds just like a really awful band trying to hit it big on Star Search. How the hell do albums like this get released anyway? Did somebody really think that it would sell? Surely nobody thought that this was good music!

Or was cocaine even more prevalent in the mid-80s than I thought?

Reader Comments

grant@grantedmonds.com (Grant Edmonds)
You know, aside from what's-his-face singing these songs, this album ain't half-bad. Only about one-quarter bad, half okay, and one-quarter good. I enjoy most of the first half of the album, but man!....I dislike (not hate, too strong) Bad Company, especially this singer with that pleasant, no-balls voice. God!! Not as bad as the Eagles though....Anyway..."Go Down Fighting" is good...that's all I remember right now...well, that and Ted's vocal songs. Can't remember their names, but oh my god! He's getting dumber and dumber, at least with his songwriting. What gives? Overall, listenable, but only if in a cheese-metal mood. Otherwise, don't even think about it.

irontyrant@earthlink.net (Michael Grefski)
I was only 14 when this album came out, and I even my (nearly) virgin eardrums recognized it as a clinker. I had already digested the lion's share of classic Nuge by this point, and was promptly despairing at this sad, sad turn of events for the Motor City Mothball. And though it pains me to say it, I don't really think Ted has ever really rediscovered his mojo since losing it to the generally sucky corporate rock takeover of the middle eighties. It's a real sign of what sounds matter when you realize that almost the entire pantheon of commercial eighties hard rock/metal sounds far more dated and jaded than almost the enitrety of the music's 1968-1984 heday. And woe betide us all, Ted has to be one of the soul-sellers we must blame for this vacuous black hole of rock we all endured.

Add your thoughts?


Little Miss Dangerous - Atlantic 1986.
Rating = 3

Installment number three in Ted Nugent's Really Awful Trilogy, this record is more of the same slick mid-80s bad pop-rock-metal with no personality at all. Not even for a second. A couple of the generic Billy Idol-sounding songs have enjoyable chord sequences and he does a splendid cover of that old tune "My Little Red Book," but in its completeness, what you have here is the essence of washed up old bag doing whatever the record company tells him to do-itude. It happened to Cheap Trick too (and some would say Aerosmith). You stop having hits and the A&R guys tell you to change your image and sound to mesh in with the latest popular sounds, which of course are inevitably dictated by fools who don't know a good song from a Pepsi jingle. The music business is a disgusting industry. I'm not saying they destroyed Ted Nugent - honestly I think he just ran out of riffs - but they did a hell of a job making him sound EXACTLY like every other no-talent wimpass metal band that tried to hit it big in the early to mid-80s. There is absolutely no place in any music fan's collection for this album or the two that came before. I can't believe I'm letting them stink up my otherwise fine collection as we speak.

Hey Penetrator - get the hell away from my Nova Local album!!!!! Don't even THINK about making "If You Only Had The Time" sound like overprocessed synthesizer shit!

(The kids love my Nova Local jokes.)

Reader Comments

DLChambers@aol.com
Aw, c'mon - "Little Miss Dangerous" is a decent song.

JEFFSHADOW@aol.com
I remember just tuning into a new episode of Miami Vice and hearing "Little Miss Dangerous" and while viewing the show (hot chick, hot car, great legs, etc. and saying "this must be a Ted Nugent song!" Went out to Tower Records and bought the LP next day. Made my decade!!

Add your thoughts?


If You Can't Lick 'Em...Lick 'Em - Atlantic 1988.
Rating = 4

The Nuge is back! No more wimpy outside vocalists, glossy production or corny synths -- just straight-up bass, drums and guitars guitars guitars! Ted is a little older so his voice is a little lower and less wild, but he's still wailin' away on that guitar like it's one of the shotguns he uses to murder poor defenseless deer on a daily basis. Most of the songs totally suck cock, unfortunately. Really corny, stupid pop metal like the Bullet Boys or somesuch. There are a few really good ones though (I like the title track, "Skintight" and "That's The Story of Love" -- co-written, incidentally, by Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora!). But I wasn't wrong when I suggested that he'd run out of riffs. Stick to his '70s albums and remember that if you ever get angry at anything he says on his radio show or on TV -- the man hasn't put out a decent album in two decades. If he doesn't even know his own trade, how the hell much is he going to know about politics?

Reader Comments

grant@grantedmonds.com (Grant Edmonds)
His best since Scream Dream. Okay, that doesn't clarify things at all really since my shit hitting the toilet water is more entertaining than most of Ted's music lately. Seriously, this album is pretty good. Obviously processed for the eightees' listener, but pretty good overall. Ted combines his classic sound with his newer sound and keeps the production basic--no major overdubs and effects. (Could be looser and more raw though). The title track and "Spread Your Wings", a surprisingly nice ballad, are my faves, but with the exception of a couple tunes cloned from his '82 shitpile, it's pretty good. If you want a sampling from his 80's music, get this.

Add your thoughts?


Spirit Of The Wild - Atlantic 1995.
Rating = 4

You know, Roland Fratzl and I agree on a lot of things -- the saintliness of that last Blue Oyster Cult album, which Nazareth albums are shitty, the upchucklitude of a squirt joke -- but every once in a while, a situation will arise in which our behavioral differences come head to head in a fierce battle between good and evil, right and wrong.

I'm afraid that this is one of those cases.

When you reach the reader comments section of this review, you will hear Roland argue vehemently that the Nuge is "back in rare form" playing "raw, wild licks as good as anything he did in the 70s." These are lies. Rancid, ugly lies designed to separate you, the trusting simpleton, from your hard-earned entertainment dollar (send it to me for naked pics of me). This album features twelve tracks. Two of them - TWO, I SAY - are great from beginning to end. Is it mere coincidence that these two tracks also feature the most offensive and stupid titles on the record? I don't think it is. When the Nuge wants to call girls "Thighraceous" or tell everybody in the world to "Kiss My (The Narrator's) Ass," his limp, soggy guitar develops a rigid erection and he can perform wild, catchy gonzo rock 'n roll riffs on them. But otherwise, his riffs can get pretty tepid, ranging from Damn Yankees-style laughable, overserious balladry to boring funk crud to r'n'r riffage so predictable, you yourself wrote it five minutes before you bought the album. This is NOT classic Ted. In the '70s, you couldn't help but laugh with him -- now it's impossible to not laugh AT him ("Fred Bear" is meant to be taken SERIOUSLY?!?! "Spirit Of The Wild" isn't a Foreigner cover?!?! "I Shoot Back" has any discernible melody AT ALL?!?!). Not to mention that his liner notes are the most self-loving, moronic comments he's EVER made on a record album ("You can't be what you eat, or I'd be your daughter"?!?!?!?!?!?!).

I'm sick of wasting precious moments of my life discussing this piece of crap. The production is great -- all loud, well-produced electric guitars. Sounds really similar to the last couple Van Halen albums actually. And it's just as bad! So why a 4, you need to know. Well, a lot of the songs DO have something going for them, be it a great, melodic solo or a nice groove or really catchy riff in the verse before turning to cliched shit in the chorus. But dude - Derek St. Holmes has got to go.

To the bathroom, I mean. I guess most people do though.

With no further ado, here are a few words from Roland Fratzl, co-founder of Tears For Fears.

Reader Comments

Roland Fratzl (foland_ratzl@hotmail.com)
8/10

WARNING! WARNING! THIS TED NUGENT ALBUM CONTAINS THE TASTIEST, FINGER LICKIN' LICKS 'N RIFFS LAID DOWN BY THE NUGE SINCE HIS 70'S CAREER APEX...IN THE ERA OF GRUNGE!

Yep, you heard me. This is nothing short of an astonishing comeback. Spirit Of The Wild sees the welcome return of that classic raw in your face rock 'n roll 'tude through amped up and sped up hard blues riffs that'll bang your head in full agreement from here to them Smoky Mountains!

Hooda thunk it?? After Scream Dream in 1980, or maybe even Intesities In Ten Cities in 1981, the rest of the 80's were a total white wash concerning Nuge's recorded output, creatively speaking. Then in the early 90's he decided to form a terrible "supergroup" called Damn Yankees to regain lost commercial fortunes so that he could buy another round of shotgun shells or something.

Well, fortunately grunge exploded soon after, destroying the careers of all the horrid slick and poppy hair metal bands of the 80's, mercifully taking the Damn Yankees down in the process.

This forced Ted to resume his solo career, and he went about it with a determination not seen since his 70's peak. His old spark is all over this here chachi like Cajun gumbo! This wonderful disc is chock-a-block with searing guitar riffs that are not generic, the production is crystal clear, the mix is perfect with the guitars way up front raw and heavy, the energy flowing reflects the renewed musical passion, the songwriting is solid, the solos are blistering (Ted has always been an underated axeman), the lyrics are often funny when they're not too dumb, and even Derek St. Holmes is along for the ride again!

The only faults are that the album might be a tad long and a scant few of the tracks are less amazing than they could be, but them's slim pickens Zeek!

cuthbert@vianet.on.ca
this Nugent album is fantastic, should have been bigger, Fred Bear is deeply personal and yet stil an ass kicker, most tunes just overall great rockers, only mistake he made with this album was leading off with Thighraceous, heard it on The Bear in Ottawa when the album was released, not a strong track and did not represent the album well,

cuthbert@vianet.on.ca (K&T Cuthbert)
Craveman - u have to review this one man the nuge is kickin ass on this album heavy heavy wicked album harkens back to scream dream but heavier guitars Mendozza on base is fantastic and the Nuge yells it all out mix is more heavy on guitar than voice this is a 10 out of 10 nugent album

veganlady@hotmail.com (Lisa)
I would have to say that goldfinger said it best- "Fuck Ted Nugent/He's a fucking Jerk/I wish that he'd be gone/Chauvinistic republican/Kills animals/He forgot how to write a song/ CHORUS:He's a dick, Fuck him, Asshole, Fuck him./Fuck Ted Nuggent/ And Fuck the NRA/Fuck their attitude/ He thinks that riding buffalo/and wearing oakleys will make him look eal cool/CHORUS/He thinks he'll get the girls /by killing little squirrels....

Teddy is no singer and no man!

K&T Cuthbert
so vegan did u like the record or not?

is this a political forum or a music forum?

sounds like goldfinger could not hold up a polite or articulate debate with ol Ted when every second word is fuck, hmm Ted isn't alway the sharpest pencil esp when it comes to lyrical content but sounds like he could write circles round goldfinger next time please stick to music

jwelsh@specshoward.edu (John Welsh)
fred bear is as serious as a double lung shot

Abraxisray@aol.com
Ted is a major puss. I just returned from Nam in 1970 and admired him as a musician. Then I read an article in Crawdaddy when he boasted of how he "beat the draft." Stated that he did not eat or take a bath for a week before his physical. Stated that he took drugs and "fooled" the draft board. He was a pussy. Afraid to face someone who has a gun and can fight back. The right-wing fools think he is a hero. He was willing to send someone else off to do the fighting when he gets the glory. What a true American.

amatdavies@btinternet.com (Andy)
Vegan lady is right. Anybody who who advocates killing should not be in the public eye, and the only way to do that is not to support them or buy their records. Which will only fund his hunting! So regardless of whether or not anyone thinks his records are good just don't buy them!

Pinesinstructor@aol.com
sup,

this is for anyone who dissagrees with the nuge, get fucked.ted is the shit always has beeen always will be .As for teds hunting ranches nd his ambition to hunt thats his buisness and to be blunt id give anything to be where he is ted's livin my dream life.everyone has their ups and downs in life and looks like ted concored his dream . he's bad just face it , and hey fuck those who disagree............

rbrt_wt@yahoo.com
fuck ted nugent, his music is shitty, and he poops on your sister every afternoon...i cant believe anyone would take the time to review a ted nugent shitfest.

AgnesAyres@cableone.net (Melanie)
Ted Nugent rocks,and he does his way. "Stranglehold" DOES wank a bit(!!!!),but at least the wanking goes somewhere intelligible,and it's an interesting jouney(bite me,did I just say "Journey" in the same paragraph as "Nugent"???!!!)

Gotta love Ted Nugent,he rocks and rolls all the way,HIS way,and he lives his way-whether you agree or disagree with his POV,you can't say that he doesn't swim against the tide of the popular music biz, in his worldview.

OK,this IS about the music,and Ted is a great rock-and-roller,in the truest sense of the words. He never tried to send profound messages, and he partied and rocked and made it about the music-the way rock began-raucous,rebellious,FUN. And I give him this for integrity-he managed to rock and party and have such a good rebellious time w/o the need of chemically-induced motivation-he was just really having fun!

Nothing against profundity,or even would-be profundity-I love YES and ELP-but that isn't Ted's slant on things. He just wants to rock,and get you to rock along. And dammitall, he does just that

Add your thoughts?


Full Bluntal Nugity - Spitfire 2001
Rating = 6

Recorded live on New Year's Eve 2000-2001 in Nugent's hometown of Detroit, this 68-minute disc features four songs from his self-titled debut, two from <>Cat Scratch Fever, one by the Amboy Dukes, and one each from Free For All, Double Live Gonzo, State Of Shock, Spirit Of The Wild and (I think) his next album, Craveman. Ted sings almost all the songs himself (exception: generic electric blues rocker "Hey Baby") and does a decent job. Unfortunately the same can't be said for his guitar solos, which are just noisy amelodic piles of dicking around. Still, with such classics as "Paralyzed," "Yank Me, Crank Me," "Stranglehold" and "Great White Buffalo" on hand, what kind of arse machine would complain more than once?

So who's ready for another round of "Which of these statements are spoken by Ted Nugent on this CD?" Let's proceed.

1. "ALRIGHT, DE-FUCKIN'-TROIT! I THINK YOU'RE READY TO ROCK OUT WITH UNCLE FUCKIN' TED, AREN'T YOU TONIGHT? HOW ABOUT THAT SAMMY FUCKIN' HAGAR? DID I INVITE THE RIGHT PARTY MOTHERFUCKER HERE OR WHAT?"

2. "Has anyone seen my tea cozy?"

3. "NO SHEE-IT! YEAH, I FEEL LIKE I'M AT ONE BIG OLD MICHIGANIAC FUCKIN' MOTOR CITY MADHOUSE TONIGHT, BABY! YOU KNOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR, BUT YOU GOTTA HAVE SOME OF THAT MOTOR CITY WANG DANG SWEET POONTANG! YOU LIKE IT, DON'T YA? YOU CRAVE THAT SHIT WITH UNCLE TED, NOW DON'T YA? (GIGGLE!) A LITTLE DINNER MUSIC FOR MY FRIENDS!"

4. "I'll be performing the second half of tonight's concert on unaccompanied acoustic guitar. I invite you all to sit down and relax with 'Cousin Ted.'"

5. "HOW YA'ALL BEEN, ALRIGHT? I THOUGHT SO! I FEEL THAT SHIT! I CAN SMELL WHAT YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR, BABY! YOU NEED A BIG OLD CHUNK OF THAT DOWNTOWN Free For All, DON'T YA, BABY?"

6. "Let's have a round of applause for Michael Moore!"

7. "THANK YOU VERY MUCH! NO SHIT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I SAY, I'D LIKE TO HAVE A LITTLE CAMPFIRE WITH MY FRIENDS HERE TONIGHT! YOU FEEL LIKE A CAMPFIRE? YOU FEEL LIKE A MICHIGAN BLOOD BROTHER HUNTIN' CAMPFIRE TONIGHT? EVERYBODY HAVE A GOOD HUNTIN' SEASON THIS YEAR? YEAH? IF YOU'RE NOT HAVIN' A HUNTIN' SEASON, BABY, YOU MIGHT THINK ABOUT IT!"

8. "To all my Hispanic friends in the audience tonight, I'd just like to say that espero que usted tenga un gran rato esta noche. Usted es la gente que hace America fuerte!"

9. "WELL, IT'S GETTIN' CLOSE! EVERYBODY HAD A GOOD 2000, DID YA? GOOD YEAR, 2000! GOOD YEAR? YOU HAD A GOOD ONE! ARE YOU ABLE TO MAKE NEXT YEAR EVEN BETTER? CAN YOU DO THAT? I KNOW YOU CAN! I KNOW YOU CAN! HELL, I'M JUST A DUMB OLD MOTHERFUCKER FROM THE SWAMPS OF REDFORD, MAN, AND I WROTE THE NUMBER ONE GUITAR LICK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD RIGHT HERE IN DETROIT!"

10. "Does this neighborhood have any good vegetarian restaurants?"

11. "YEAH! UH-HUH! EH? THAT'S PRETTY FUCKIN' GOOD FOR A WHITE BOY, HUH? NOW IT'S REAL SIMPLE BABY, IT'S REAL SIMPLE! YOU JUST GOTTA HAVE THE FUCKIN' ATTITUDE! WATCH IT! WATCH HOW SIMPLE THIS SHIT IS! WATCH HOW SIMPLE THIS SHIT IS! (*plays "Stranglehold" riff*) REAL FUCKIN' SIMPLE! AS LONG AS YOU GOT THE FUCKIN' ATTITUDE!"

12. "I got the idea for this next song when I came across an interesting footnote in Paramahansa Yogananda's Autobiography of a Yogi."

13. "IT'S A DETROIT SONG! IT'S A DETROIT SONG! IT'S A DETROIT ATTITUDE! IT'S THE OFFICIAL AMERICAN MOTOR CITY THEME SONG! AND I FEEL THE BUFFALO! I FEEL THE BUFFALO! I FEEL THE BUFFALO CALLING!"

14. "I'd like to thank my opening act The Indigo Girls."

Reader Comments

bladeystyle@yahoo.com
"HELL, I'M JUST A DUMB OLD MOTHERFUCKER..."

Well, that just about says it all, right there.

Add your thoughts?


Craveman - Spitfire 2002
Rating = 6

People everywhere love games, and that's no reason not to play them. So I've devised a fun little pastime for readers of Wwww.MarkPringles.Corn. Here you go. In each of these thingies, try to guess which lyric does NOT appear in a song on this album:

Thingie Number One

a) "Look at all the dirty nookie! Keep that shit away from me! Do ya think I'm kinda kookie!! It's all infected HIV!!"
b) "A mountain hi is what I climb, I swim the river deep! And if ya crave the time of your life, try to keep up with me!"
c) "Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay."
d) "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the mighty USA! Everywhere I run around they git out of my way!"

Thingie Number Two

a) "Look at me on the frontlines! I aint afraid of no shit! I must be outta my mind - cant git enuf of it!"
b) "The goal is ecstacy! The spirit must be free!"
c) "If you wanna really liv it up ya gotta git yourself together - Cum n git ya sum-o-this!"
d) "Imagine there's no Heaven. It's easy if you try. No Hell below us. Above us only sky."

Thingie Number Three

a) "Oh where have you been, my blue-eyed son? And where have you been, my darling young one?"
b) "SEX! You'll never change my SEX! It's a bit complex! You'll never change my sex! No way!"
c) "I'm like a grizzly bear on a rampage! A firestorm in your face! Time to assess the damage baby - I will not git outta this race!"
d) "Here kitty kitty! Remember that stroke of my hand? Damn! Ohh.. meow! Talk to me Fifi! I got your hairballz right here! This CatMan do! I am you are we are pussywhipped!"

Thingie Number Four

a) "Hey didn't ya see me comin? Ya gotta let the bigdogs run! Who do ya think you're foolin baby? Ya know I'z deadnutz on!"
b) "Pissed in the wind! Screamin' in the night! I don't give a damn! I treat my baby right! I heard it all before! I'll say it all again! I ain't pussywhipped! The bitch is my friend! Hallelujah baby! Grab me by the ballz! Celebrate the flesh! Celebrate the horn! The bitches got the power! The bitches got control! If she wants the hour, its rock-n-rock-n-roll! Wang Dang Doodle!"
c) "Gotta git myself together. Gotta let the bigdogs run. Gotta let the spirit run wild. Goodmen git your guns."
d) "You know my baby likes my butter in her gritz! She can't git enuf of my jam! And when my baby lookin to double trouble, she know damn well where I am! My baby likes my frosting on her cake! I put the caffeine back in her beans! And when my baby lookin like double trouble, I know just what she need! Life is one big BBQ, baby! I'm what you're having for dinner! Consider me the sauce on your fondue baby! She's my oven and I put it in her! I am her dinner! I put it in her! Buttergritz!"

If you guessed correctly, congratulations! Thingie Number Four was a trick thingie though - I thought I'd try to fool you by using periods in option C instead of 'Nugent-style' exclamation marks. If you guessed wrong, way to go!

Regardless of its lyrical inanity, this is a near-total comeback for Terd Nugget, and easily his best and rockinest record in the past two decades. It's got a couple stinkers and nobody ever mistook Ted for a guy who could come up with 14 good songs at the same time, but he's at least finally remembered what people liked about him in the first place -- his simple uptempo fun hard rockin' guitar licks! The mix is terrifically loud, full and heavy, and his '70s-style guitar hooks are all happy, filled with both notes and chords, and ready to rock you in the exact same way that "Dog Eat Dog" and "Free For All" used to. Unlike his last five records (in chronological order), Craveman is not (a) slick overpolished radio shit, (b) faceless synth-heavy pop rock, (c) bad puss-rock with no personality, (d) corny stupid hair metal, or (e) a mix of tepid balladry, boring funk metal and cliched riffage. Instead, it's a fairly solid (though by no means PERFECT, hence the "6") collection of good old-fashioned hard rock songs. With shitty, stupid lyrics!

It's pretty diverse too, believe it or not. Checking my notes here, I see brief song descriptions running the gamut from "Ted goes grunge," "bluesy lead licks, pop chorus," "Hendrixy funk-blues-rock" and "calm, relaxed, tremeloed" to "Cows-esque up-down distorted bass," "fast fun pop-punky Nuge!," "cute silliness with group vocals," and best of all, "ugly slow stupid macho horseshit." Which reminds me -- don't mess with my Toot-Toot!

Now that we've established company protocol in regard to my Toot-Toot, let me add that there's a stretch on this CD (tracks 3-9) where Ted - at this grizzled, embarrassing stage in his career - manages to whip out six fucking GREAT songs out of a mere seven. Unfortunately they're immediately followed by five lesser tracks, but with any luck your CD player will become inoperable before you get to those so you won't have to be reminded that this is in fact a Ted Nugent album and not some good artist.

Reader Comments

Ovrlov2@aol.com
I THINK TED NUGENT IS ONE OF THE LAST REAL PEAPLE IN THIS USA HE STANDS FOR ALL OF US HOW LOVE HUNTING AND THE OUTDOOORS AND WHO RESPECT IT AND HUNT SAFLY AND USE THE MEAT IN MY OPINION THE MOTOR CITY MADD MAN IS A GOD TO ALMOST ALL SPORTSMEN.........GO FOR IT UNCLE TED!

deborah_544@msn.com
Has it occured to any of you that there is nothing sick and twisted about hunting and killing animals? I find a hunter no less evil than someone strolling into Burger King and filling their face with that garbage. If noone ever hunted deer in my state, they would all become overpopulated..highway accidents caused by deer would skyrocket and they are already bad enough. And eventually the deer herds would become riddled with disease and would eat all of their food sources up. So whats crueler, a slow agonizing death from starvation or a cleanly placed 30.06 round in the heart? Most of you people that loathe hunting have never probably spent anytime in the woods. I have hunted since I was a wee lad and find harvesting some tasty venison no different than eating some greasy burger. It should also be made known that hunters contribute more money annually to conserve wildlife than any "peta" style organizations you could name. Ted Nugent himself also contributes a great deal of his money to help conserving wildlife and animal populations. I'm only fifteen and I have the common sense to realize that hating hunters for killing animals is just hypocritical and well it just flat out doesnt make sense. And as far as terrible ted's music goes...yea I dig his guitar stylings. And he must be doing something right by only eating good natural meat he harvests himself, he still spazzes out pretty well on stage for a 55 year old fella. And for all of you tofu eaters I think you should know that every soy field that gets harvested to make your precious tofu..hundreds of helpless little mice die...you sick bastards. Also..maybe you would appreciate ted's music much more if he went on constant drinking binges and slapped his wife around and raped young boys or something like that...seems like the thing for celeb's to do now adays. If your going to hate ted for something..hate him for his ridiculous stage outfits.

crawford1@hei.net
I see all these people bitching about Ted hunting and killing poor, helpless, defenseless creitters and baby animals.

All I have to ask is: ARE YOU ALL FUCKING RETARDED ????

The 15 year old kid 0n the page is the most intelligent out of the whole lot of you.

Millions of poeple go into their local grocery store every goddamned day and purchase neatly packaged Cow, Pig, Chicken and even Lamb. Lamb for Christ`s sake and I`ll tell you, it`s fucking yummy and every other market dweller will say the same. But asking the market dweller to KILL and CLEAN his own fucking food is just EVIL ??? All the bleeding heart pansies need to pull their heads out of their collective asses and take a tour of the local MEAT PACKING PLANT and see just how humanely your Cow, Pig, Chicken and Lamb are KILLED, CLEANED and PROCESSED !!! It`s a horrible horrible way to spend a day and it is equally inhumane the way they are put to death. Cows get a nail gun in the head, Chickens get their throats cut while hanging upside down, same with Turkey`s and it`s all fairly automated so fewer and fewer people have to actually get their hands dirty in order to eat COW, PIG, CHICKEN, TURKEY and LAMB.

THE TRUTH, Most of the people in this country who piss and moan about hunting aren`t even VEGAN`S !! The majority of the whiners are merely dumb fuck HYPOCRITES who don`t know shit from Shineola about anything, especially where their FOOD comes from. It`s time people wake the hell up, drink a tall cup of shut the hell up and QUIT grocery shopping for meat.

That way they can die off with anorexic looking bodies because they were too fucking stupid to HUNT. NATURAL SELECTION for humans. There are too many people killing PEOPLE, who gives a shit about animal deaths, animals are killed daily by the millions just to feed us and in the words of the immortal Ted, "Animals have rights, they have the right to be killed and they have the right to be EATEN, period !!!! . Nuff said!

Oh, and my hat`s off to deborah_544, Ovrlove2, Pinesinstructor, At least these people don`t have their brains in their colon`s about the simple act of hunting for food.

I also agree, that this page was supposed to be about the music.

That said, I`ll stick with the Amboy Dukes stuff and the first 3, maybe 4 solo albums from the Wildman, ..... Most of the rest is pure sophomoric drivel. Wango Tango, I remember it on the radio when it was new, it was the dumbest tune I`d ever heard and should have been done, (Like most of Nuge`s later albums) WITHOUT ANY LYRICS at all !! So, I would label Ted a lyrically juvenile axemaster

AAAH fuck it, by the time I got done typing this, it was already pointless. Telling stupid people that they are stupid is a waste of time, I would rather HUNT THEM !! HAHAHAHAHAHA, Guido

aos-cm@tds.net
Ted is and always will be the best!!!!!!!!!!

joetash@tds.net
Mark Prindle? Hmmmmm. I think you missed the boat. I'd say you were a little hard on the Nuge. No not always the brightest lyrics but something everyone seems to forget OUTSOLD EVERY OTHER MAJOR ACT 3 YEARS IN A ROW. That's right- Kiss, Aerosmith, Queen, you name them. THE LARGEST GROSSING TOURING ATTRACTION FROM 77 THROUGH 79. What have you done with your life Mr..critic ummmm what the hells your name again? Who gives a shit. Your probably some snot nosed college liberal faggot who spends his time amusing himself with little witty anecdotes. Have a fucked up life I'm gonna get in my 4wd and go buttfuck Bambi.

peglegjlr@msn.com
Ted ROCKED, still ROCKS, and always will ROCK !! 'Nuff said.

Musselhedz@aol.com (Linda)
Hi Ted,,I just want you to no that im the young girl at 16 met you at the Image back in the late 60s and 70s.. If you remember my dad took us to court for rape,,we went to court and i ran away,, so my dad couldnt press charger.. and it worked,,I just want you to no IM very Sorry,,,Im 53 now with a family. And i dont lie about my age anymore,,I love watching your show on tv.... And im not a groupie..lol

Ghs9863@aol.com
I dont give a shit about the Nuges politics and dont agree with most of it or understand it, being from the uk ,but apart from the 3 early to mid eighties albums(ted nugent, penetrator and little miss dangerous) that were crap he kicks arse as a rock artist .

teddybear2222@webtv.net
i KNOW tED nUGENT THAT RAMING JAMING PUSSY LICKING NUT EVEN TODAY. hE IS ONE WHEN COMES TO A WEDDING RING CAN'T BE TRUSTED. hE HAS NO AGE LIMIT ON PUSSY AND HE DOES A GREAT LICK JOB AT THAT. hE HAS A TUFF TIME RESPECTING OTHERS ABOUT THE NUGE BUT ALL IN ALL IT IS HIS KIND OF FUN. HE MEANS NO HARM TO PEOPLE WHO MEAN NO HARM TO HIM OR HIS FAMILY WHICH LATELY THEY HAVE BEEN GETTING DEATH THREATS. HE IS HONEST ABOUT SAYING WHAT HE SAYS. HE IS WLD IN BED TOOOOO. THAT MOTOR MAD MAN'S MOUTH DOES GET THE RPMS UP WHEN IT IS LICKING TIME. NO THE BIGGEST DICK IN THE WORLD PER SAY BUT HEY WHO DOES. HE GIVES THE PUSSY A GOOD LICK'N AND KEEPS ON TICKING. I CAN'T SAY ENOUGH ABOUT HIM EVEN IF IT WAS A ONE NIGHT DEAL BUT WHO KNOWS WHEN ONE HAS A PHONE NUMBER...

fistanarius@gmail.com
I just had to say that teddybear2222's comment is one of the most powerful things I've ever read.

Add your thoughts?


Love Grenade - Eagle Rock Entertainment 2007
Rating = 3

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
For National Launch of Ted Nugent "Love Grenade" CD
Prepared by Eagle Rock Public Relations
9/01/07

Q. What is the meaning of the phrase "Love Grenade"?
A. "Love Grenade" is a witty double-entendre of the sort that Mr. Nugent has used throughout his songwriting career. In the title track, 'Uncle Ted' uses an extended metaphor comparing a romantic liaison to a wartime battle.

Q. Isn't it inappropriate for Mr. Nugent to paint a frivolous picture of war at the same time that increasing numbers of American soldiers are dying in Iraq?
A. Not at all. In fact, the verse "I'm on the frontlines of love/Jump in a foxhole with me/Your body armor will do you no good/I am your first casualty" expresses 'Uncle Ted''s solidarity with the men on the front line who are losing their lives due to inefficient body armor. Ted Nugent is an American - a True American.

Q. Is it true that Mr. Nugent has in the past boasted of using subterfuge to avoid serving in the Vietnam War?
A. Mr. Nugent has a sly sense of humor, and may have spun a tall tale or two in his day. It's best to take such proclamations with a grain of salt however, because 'Uncle Ted' has spent his entire adult life serving as a positive role model for America's most precious natural resource - its children.

Q. Then isn't it inappropriate for him to have included a song on this album entitled "Girl Scout Cookies"?
A. Not at all. Many people enjoy girl scout cookies.

Q. But the song is clearly a double-entendre about performing cunnilingus on underaged girls. Lyrics include "I like to eat my girl scout cookies/I could eat them all night long" and "The coconuts just drive me wild/I buy my cookies right from a child/That peanut butter gits stuck to the roof of my mouth."
A. You've misinterpreted the lyrics. He's actually referring to adult women who dress up in girl scout costumes. It's a common male fantasy.

Q. But there is a photo in the middle of the CD booklet of a smiling Mr. Nugent surrounded by what is clearly a group of 11- and 12-year-old girl scouts. Do you not consider this inappropriate?
A. Now that you mention it, that is an unfortunate coincidence. 'Uncle Ted' designed the booklet before completing the CD, and must not have realized that a photo of girl scouts was included when he wrote the lyrics under discussion. I'll have to get back to you on that.

Q. What is the meaning of the CD cover?
A. The grenade is self-explanatory, and the pink ribbon is Mr. Nugent's salute to the War against Breast Cancer. 'Uncle Ted' is an avid supporter of women's rights and issues.

Q. But didn't you say earlier that the phrase "Love Grenade" is a double-entendre? Why would you put a pink ribbon onto what is symbolically a phallus? That doesn't make any sense at all!
A. No, you misunderstood me. I stated that "Love Grenade" is 'a witty double-entendre'; I did not say that it is 'symbolically a phallus.' What 'Uncle Ted' means by the phrase "Love Grenade" is the metaphorical 'explosion' of love that a man feels for his life partner. This is why he felt that it was so important to include the pink ribbon as a salute to the War against Breast Cancer.

Q. The song lyrics state "Love Grenade, I'm comin in/Love Grenade, Pull the pin/Love Grenade, Look out below/Love Grenade, I'm about to blow." Are you seriously trying to tell me that this song isn't about a penis?
A. Now that you mention it, that is an unfortunate coincidence. 'Uncle Ted' designed the cover artwork before completing the CD, and must not have realized that a photo of a pink-ribboned grenade was included when he wrote the lyrics under discussion. I'll have to get back to you on that.

Q. Moving on, the CD begins with four basic sex-and-partying songs ("Love Grenade," "Still Raising Hell," "Funk U" and "Girl Scout Cookies"), then suddenly takes a bizarre shift into more serious, arguably spiritual content. Would you care to comment on this?
A. You're very perceptive. 'Uncle Ted' is a multi-faceted Renaissance man - singer, songwriter, guitar hero, disc jockey, role model, hunter, American - and he wanted to use this CD as an opportunity to express some of his deeper thoughts and concerns that aren't necessarily what come to mind when you think of the name 'Ted Nugent.'

Q. For example, in both "Geronimo & Me" and the instrumental "EagleBrother," he seems to be allying himself with the Native American.
A. That is true. Mr. Nugent feels a kinship with the Native American spirits, as he states in the chorus "Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, Geronimo & Me/BloodBrothers, Warriors, fightin' to be free."

Q. Isn't that a bit misleading though? Ted Nugent is an aggressive, gun-obsessed Republican -- exactly the sort of person who would have run the Indians off of their land in the first place.
A. That's a ridiculous accusation. Mr. Nugent feels a kinship to all brave souls, and there are none braver than our Native American brothers, who so desperately fought to protect their sacred land from the US Military warriors.

Q. Then why does he thank "all the US Military warriors" in the liner notes?
A. Now that you mention it, that is an unfortunate coincidence.

Q. Continuing on, could you explain the lyrics of "Spirit of the Buffalo"?
A. Absolutely. In "Spirit of the Buffalo," 'Uncle Ted' is expressing a kinship for the spirit of the brave buffalo who once roamed free over the lands.

Q. Wait a second. He's allying himself with the buffalo?
A. Yes, Mr. Nugent lives in constant awe and reverence of the animal kingdom, and has written this song to celebrate their great wild spirit, beauty and resilience.

Q. Then why does he talk about eating the buffalo at the end of the song?
A. See, now you're focusing on one line. The rest of the song is about how great the buffalo is. Don't dwell on the negatives. That's 'Uncle Ted''s message.

Q. Okay then, now we move to the next song -- in which Ted Nugent allies himself with the "Aborigine."
A. Yes, Mr. Nugent feels strongly that we are all one, regardless of color, and that we must all stand up proudly and fight together for our freedom. He is also an advocate of African-American rights, hence the lyric "Me & Martin Luther/We have a dream."

Q. Was this before or after he told an Anaheim, CA audience, "Obama, hes a piece of shit; I told him to suck on my machine gun"?
A. That was a political statement about a single individual, and had nothing to do with Obama Barack's status as an African-American. As is clearly manifest in "Aborigine," he dreams of an end to racism in all its forms: "I'm an aborigine, you're an aborigine..."

Q. Was this before or after he told the Houston Chronicle, "If you can't speak English, get out of America"?
A. That was a typo.

Q. That's not true.
A. Sure it is. He actually said, "If you can't sing 'Sandman,' get out of America." He has a running feud with Dewey Bunnell.

Q. You're lying. He was quoted by multiple sources telling a Houston audience, "If you're not going to speak English, then get the fuck out of America." Then he did the same thing in Toronto: "If you can't speak English, get the fuck out of Canada." How exactly does this kind of behavior support his message that "I'm an aborigine, you're an aborigine"?
A. Aborigines speak English.

Q. No they don't! What are you talking about?!?
A. Well, they do now. Since their culture has been decimated. And that's 'Uncle Ted''s message - that we all gotta stick together.

Q. On another topic, why did Ted re-record his old Amboy Dukes psychedelic hit "Journey To The Center Of The Mind" for this release?
A. Because the message of that song is every bit as relevant today as it was 40 years ago.

Q. Isn't it about drug use? And how great it is?
A. Well, no - yes, it is about drugs, but it's an anti-drug song.

Q. "How happy life could be if all of mankind would take the time to journey to the center of the mind"?
A. Well, remember - Ted didn't write the lyrics, only the music. And yes, the song may have originally been supportive of the drug-using lifestyle, but I think it's pretty clear in the new version that Ted is singing ironically.

Q. In what way!?!
A. Well, if you'd been in the studio when he recorded the vocals, you'd understand.

Q. How so?
A. He used lots of air quotes.

Q. Okay, so what is the name of Ted's current back-up band?
A. That would be The NugeGods of Thunder-Love Grenade Bloodbrother Aborigines.

Q. That's an awful name! Did Ted come up with that?
A. No, they were called that before he met them.

Q. See, you're lying again.
A. Absolutely not. 'Uncle Ted' is a true American.

Q. My final question is this: Considering that most of this CD is comprised of underwritten boogie rock and dull electric blooze filled with shitty unoriginal chord changes, how did Ted manage to come up with the excellent hard rock riffs that drive the verses of "Broadside" and "Bridge Over Troubled Daughters"?
A. We don't know. We think he stole them.

Reader Comments

slangking75@yahoo.com
Mark, my man, if you pulled that whole routine out of yr ass, it is not only the funniest, but possibly BEST satirical writing you've put forth evah!!! However if Ted Nugents' management actually put that out they should be gravely ashamed of their unapologetic display of rampant stupidity..Carry on then

locust.leaves@gmail.com
After many years of writing, still able to pull out completely hilarious - not to mention poignant - reviews like this one. Awesome.

mabewa@yahoo.com
Funniest review ever!

By the way, you can see the original cover here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Grenade

ben.marlin@gmail.com
Hey Mark,

Hope all is well with you, neighbor. I just wanted to say that your latest Nugent review cracked me up over and over again. It's a brilliant piece of writing.

That's all.

kkavanagh@live.co.uk
Hi Mark, I've been reading your site for the past three years or so and it's introduced me to a lot of great music so I just thought it was about time I sent you a quick note thanking you for all the funny yet extremely informative reviews.

It's not often I laugh out loud at a music review but your critique of that terrible Ted Nugent album Love Grenade made me do just that.

Add your thoughts?


Sweden Rocks - Eagle 2008
Rating = 5

Recorded live at the 2006 Sweden Rock Festival, this 68-minute disc finds Ted ripping through four classics from his well-worn self-titled debut, two each from Cat Scratch Fever and Free For All, and one each from the Amboy Dukes, Scream Dream, Craveman and Love Grenade, as well as a brief rendition of Sam & Dave's "Soul Man." Seven of the 13 already appeared on Full Bluntal Nugity six years earlier. The first half of this disc is dull and depressing, with Ted's calmed-down speak-sing voice pumped WAY too loud in the mix, giving the impression of a 60-year-old man performing tuneless karaoke over toothless studio tracks. Finally it starts kicking some rox in the second half, but by then the lazy, awful versions of "Free For All," "Wango Tango," "Snakeskin Cowboys" and "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" will have driven most listeners to a younger and more energetic Nugent record.

So who's up for a round of "Which of these statements are spoken by Ted Nugent on this CD?" Let's agree.

1. "YEAH BABY! OH YEAH! OH YEAH! LOOT AT THOSE COWBOYS! THIS IS LIKE SWEDISH COWBOYS OUT THERE, BABY!"

2. "This next one's a Neutral Milk Hotel cover."

3. "I FEEL IT, BABE! I LIKE THEM COWBOYS! SNAKE MY SKIN, BABY! AND WHILE YOU'RE DOWN THERE, COSTA-FUCK ME! OH YAH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH SWEDEN, GOD BLESS YOUR SPIRIT! LET'S HEAR IT FOR THAT SWEET ROCK 'N ROLL SHIT GOIN' ON! HUH? NO SHIT! YEAH, LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE FUNK BROTHERS! ON BASS GUITAR TONIGHT, THE REAL MONSTERS OF ROCK, MR. BARRY SPARKS ON THE BASS GUITAR, MY FRIENDS! AND MR. MICK BROWN GETTIN' IT DOWN - THUNDERBALLS RIGHT THERE, MICK BROWN ON THE DRUMS! DO I GOT THE FUNK BROTHERS OR DO I GOT THE FUNK BROTHERS? YEAH-HEH-HEH! NO SHIT, I CAN'T HELP MYSELF! I GOT A BIG OLD GREASY FREE FOR ALL COMIN' OUTTA MY ASS, BABY! IT'S GOOD FOR YA! FEEL IT!"

4. "I'm from America, a nation with many flaws."

5. "THANK YOU! THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SWEDEN! GOD BLESS YA, THANK YA VERY MUCH! I LIKE THE RAW DOGS AND THE WAR HOGS, LET'S GET IT ON! GOT TO BE FULL OF THAT PISS AND VINEGAR, BABY! FREEDOM IS BROILIN' UNDERNEATH YA SOME PLACE BABY, I CAN SMELL THAT SHIT! ALRIGHT, WE'D LIKE TO DO A SONG FROM THAT MOTOWN SOUL RIGHT NOW, 'CUZ I AM (GIGGLE) SOUL MAN, BABY!"

6. "I apologize for my tardiness this evening; I was attending a street protest in support of Mumia Abu-Jamal."

7. "THANK YOU VERY MUCH! HOW ABOUT THAT SOUL MUSIC, HUH? YOU PEOPLE LIKE THAT SOUL SHIT, DON'T YA? CAN'T HELP YOURSELF! CELEBRATE THAT AMERICAN THING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? DAMMIT, WE LOVE YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"

8. "In physics, classical Yang-Mills theory is a generalization of the Maxwell theory of electromagnetism where the chromo-electromagnetic field itself carries charges. As a classical field theory it has solutions which travel at the speed of light so that its quantum version should describe massless particles (gluons). However, the postulated phenomenon of color confinement permits only bound states of gluons, forming massive particles. This is the mass gap. Another aspect of confinement is asymptotic freedom which makes it conceivable that quantum Yang-Mills theory exists without restriction to low energy scales. The problem is to establish rigorously the existence of the quantum Yang-Mills theory and a mass gap."

9. "THERE AIN'T NO MUSIC LIKE THAT NO PLACE, BABY! THAT'S PURE MOTOR CITY SHIT RIGHT THERE, MAMA!"

10. "I don't mean to be such a 'shoe gazer' tonight. I'm just very shy."

11. "THANK YOU! THANK YOU SWEDEN! GOD BLESS YOUR ATTITUDE, BABY! HERE SHE COMES - THE NUMBER ONE GUITAR LICK IN THE WORLD RIGHT HERE! (*plays "Stranglehold" riff*) HOW ABOUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT THERE, HUH? (GIGGLE) YEAH, I LOVE IT MYSELF! I CAN HARDLY STAND MYSELF! ALRIGHT, CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, HUH? CHECK THIS SHIT OUT!"

12. "One thing does bother me about Sweden though -- your dangerously liberal gun laws."

13. "YEAH BABE! FEEL THAT SPIRIT! FEEL THE SPIRIT OF FREEDOM EVERYWHERE YOU GO, BABY! GOD BLESS SWEDEN! GOD BLESS YA'ALL! YEAH! CELEBRATE! CELEBRATE! YEAH! THANK YOU! YEAH! CLUSTERFUCK ME! AAAAH! YEAH! YEAH! GOD BLESS SWEDEN! GOD BLESS YOUR ATTITUDE! THANK YOU!"

14. "I'm thrilled to announce that my latest CD has received a stunning 9.5 on Pitchfork.com. Thank you, Ryan Schreiber!"

Reader Comments

mabewa@yahoo.com
I think that, technically, Ted Nugent LIKES "liberal gun laws," as in "laws that are so liberal that just about any mentally ill jackass can buy a gun." Y'know, like in the US. I think that's one reason why he hates Japan so much, because the gun laws are so, um, conservative here. It's not actually impossible to own a gun, but it's a major pain in the butt. Only fine, upstanding citizens need apply, which would pretty much rule out Ted himself.

But why get hung up over semantics here? What I really want to know is why Uncle Ted is going to a serious pinko socialist dungeon like Sweden and PRAISING it. Repeatedly! WHY DOES HE HATE AMERICA???

Add your thoughts?


All God's children gots to have their Nugent. Click here for yours!

Back to Mark Prindle's Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame (The Eagles Not Invited)