Hampton Grease Band

Music To Eat About Half Of And Then Give The Rest To The Dog


Music To Eat - Columbia 1971
Rating = 5


Okay, I'd like you to read a brief description and see if you can figure out where this band starts to go wrong: "Imagine a band that combines (1) the weird, brilliant instrumental interplay of Captain Beefheart's Magic Band, (2) the quirkiness, humor and challenging musicianship of Frank Zappa, (3) the oft-irritating wiggly pig vocals of Pere Ubu, (4) the go-nowhere avant-garde 'improv jazz' of King Crimson at their most pretentious, and (5) the lazy country-rock and dull modal jams of The Grateful Dead." ANYONE???? DO WE HAVE ANY TAKERS?????

For the full story behind this bizarre band, please visit http://hamptongreaseband.com/. But for now, it's enough for you to know that they scored a record contract with Columbia and expressed their gratitude by submitting a double-album with seven songs on it. Strangely, none of them were looked upon as 'potential radio hits' by the record company. But you know record companies, always pussing out rather than promoting 19-minute singles to teen radio. To add personal injury to insult, the one song that ends in less than 5 1/2 minutes is actually two half-written country-rockers thrown together! So I'd like to congratulate the Hampton Grease Band on their successful career as Columbia recording artists.

The Hampton Grease Band was a five-piece from Hotlanta, Georgia - home of the 1996 Summer Olympic Games. Its members included vocalist Bruce Hampton (later of Col. Bruce Hampton And The Aquarium Rescue Unit fame), guitarist Anthony Phillips (later a popular bald solo artist), other guitarist Harold Kelling (who unfortunately passed away in 2005), bassist Mike Holbrook, and drummer Jerry Fields. Their guitar-driven music careens all over creation, with about 600 different parts jam-packed into each 19-minute opus. The guitars mostly stick to a lightly distorted, trebly and 'plucky' tone (that Trout Mask Replica tone, where it hurts your fingers just to hear them plucking away at the dead, non-reverbed strings), and are presented in full, clean stereo separation for easy appreciation of the terrific interplay. Unfortunately, for every 5 minutes of unpredictable changes, astonishing technical playing, creative instrumental interplay and 180-degree rhythm shifts, you get 5 minutes of JUST COMPLETE FUCKING AROUND!!!! WHO WAS THIS SHIT DESIGNED TO APPEAL TO!??!? THIS BAND IS, SERIOUSLY, BOTH THE TIGHTEST AND LOOSEST BUNCH OF AGGRAVATING ASSHOLE MUSICIANS I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!!! But enough caps lock.

One of the other band members sings too, but he sounds like he's joking the whole time (and probably is). Lyrical matter includes text pulled directly from a travel guide about Halifax (in the song, ahem, "Halifax"), and Bruce picking up a spray paint can in the studio and reading the label. Non-19-minute-songs include the silly but great vibes-and-acoustic guitars Spanish work "Maria," the "Rock Of Ages"-meets-wonderfully peppy doodly-doo-doo guitar riff-meets-eerie dark lounge music-meets-FUCKING JAM BAND BULLSHIT FOR HALF AN HOUR "Evans," the eight-minute ANTI-MUSICAL PIECE OF SHIT NON-SONG POOP WORTHLESS NOODLY CRAP IMPROV DUNG THAT YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS COULD HAVE MADE UP IN THIRTY SECONDS EVEN IF YOU'VE NEVER TOUCHED - OR EVEN SEEN - MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS IN YOUR LIFE AND NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY ARMS OR LEGS "Lawton," and the aforementioned country-rock choogler "Hey Old Lady And Bert's Song." In short, they could have put all their good ideas onto a single album and had one of the tightest, smiliest and most intellectually stimulating works of the 1971 underground scene. Instead, I FUCKING HATE THEM!!!!

Another interesting thing is that, as clearly talented and nimble-fingered as the guitarists are, they clearly don't care whether or not they play their parts correctly. There are botched notes all over the place, but they're played so fast, it doesn't matter! In fact, it's endearing; it sounds like they're having a great time in the studio trying to work through all the speedy changes without forgetting how they go. And please let me reiterate that there are dozens of excellent, fascinating passages on this lengthy set - some even augmented by xylophones, vibes or brass! But there's far too much Jam Band Boogie and sub-King Crimson artsy blowhole made-up diddle-doo for my personal tastes.

I do think you should try to hear it once though, if only to experience the fascinating phenomena of Creative Musical Genius mixed with the Ugliest Racket God Has Ever Allowed Man To Create.

In other words, Van Halen with Sammy Hagar on vocals.

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Zing!

Reader Comments

amoy3r@gmail.com
This band seems interesting even with the low rating. Allmusic gave the album 4.5 stars but they are pretty much known to making mistakes like so. (They gave Warehouse: Songs + Stories by Husker Du a 5 which I complained about before) I may have to pirate this or something, this is something I might enjoy despite it's flaws, I actually like jams unlike you Mark. They had a reunion appearantly last year in your honor. Congrats!

nineinchgoth@hotmail.com
I think your statement re: "THIS BAND IS, SERIOUSLY, BOTH THE TIGHTEST AND LOOSEST BUNCH OF AGGRAVATING ASSHOLE MUSICIANS I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE" is as apt as any description of this album. I do own it, and I listen to it frequently, but I can usually only handle one or two of the jams at a time. Still, as a time capsule of a time when creativity and ability were valued more than marketability by the majors, it's a classic. I still think they could've done without the two shorter tracks.

ddickso2@uccs.edu
Aw c'mon, Prindle, this is at least a 7. Perhaps there's not enough fun go-somewhere materal to fill up the entire 90 minutes, but I tell you one thing, it's excellent background music for studying. Of course, the singer can't vocalize for shit, and parts of it (the "Moonchild"-style midsection of "Hendon," for example) can go to hell, but overall, it's a well-put-together jam collection. Better than that overrated Bitches Brew monstrosity, at any rate. Plus they sing quite a bit about asses and poop. That's always a plus.

Better than Trout Mask Replica by a hair. But that's because I have Attention Oversupply Disorder--blink and I miss Everything. Damn Beefheart and his miniscule five-minute midget-tunes.

Okay, that's it. Three albums in one day? Too much. From now on, it's five a week at most. I blame the Grease Band for this misuse of time.

Tom S.
Killer site, man. There's only a couple instances where I found myself even slightly disagreeing. Most notable of these points of disagreement: Like half the things you wrote about Hampton Grease Band. It's the only thing on the site that deserves a 10, and the only reason I have a turntable. It's the album that every Beefheart and Zappa fan stumbles onto after years of wondering "Is it possible to make something even more meandering and utterly bugfuck nuts, especially while completely sober?" or maybe "Is it possible to make jazz that sounds completely unlike even the crazy-ass avant-jazz that already exists, to the point of not really sounding like jazz at all?" The answer to both is obvious (except for that one part around 4 minutes into Hendon, I guess that counts as jazz). C'mon, you can't pretend like the build-up in "Evans" isn't the chicken soup for the soul of every lonely psychonaut who's questing for answers and knows Jesus ain't one of 'em. Or like "Hey Old Lady / Bert's Song" isn't what you'll be singing when the stock market/the economy/your favorite fabric store goes under and you're the Omega Man himself trying to stay sane on the garbage-littered post-apocalyptic streets of wherever the fuck you are. I would suggest you give it another listen, but I will accept this page full of Miles Davis insults instead. Sacred cows make tasty burgers.

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