Geordie (with Brian Johnson!)

If you like AC/DC, you'll LOVE

an album by AC/DC!!!

*special introductory paragraph!
*Hope You Like It
*Don't Be Fooled By The Name
*Save The World
*A Band From Geordieland
*Brian Johnson And Geordie
*No Good Woman
*No Sweat

As I embark upon my fifth decade as CEO and Janitor of, I guess it's inevitable that I've come to understand the inner workings of my gigantic 4,000-a-day readership. First and foremost, my audience is comprised entirely of naked women. Secondly, most of my 'fans' consider the interview section to be an inessential and space-wasting addition to a site best-known for its "Wacky Weekly Wphoto". And last but not least, I know that my 'demographic' (more like DEMONgraphic in my case! Heh heh that's some good stuff) has not the slightest interest in reviews of Nick Cave records, nor those of Cheap Trick or any of the solo Beatles. No, what the readers of www.morkprindle.htl really want is an in-depth analysis of the no-name shit band that AC/DC's Brian Johnson sang for back when nobody knew or cared who he was. Well, I'm made to order, so come on down to Geordieland!

Hope You Like It - MGM 1973
Rating = 8

Did you people see Ziggy this morning??? I've never been so offended in my entire life! Grab your torches and fire goats! It's time to burn the embassy!!!!

But enough about Muslims and their superstitious bullshit - let's talk rock 'n' roll!

When discussing rock 'n' roll, the first thing we should review are the musical instruments commonly involved. The first instrument is the "gitar," a six-stringed reed instrument played with a flat wooden spectrum known as a 'prick.' OW! I've been bitten by a Black Widow spider!

Oh my bad, it was just the word 'prick.' OW! Stop pricking me, you Black Widow spider! Oh. Wait a

'penis sticking in my ear' HEY! Don't squirt in t -- wait a second, now I see what's going on! It's reading! The act of reading is taking my imagination on a wonderful journey! My brain is creating images all its own based on the wonderful unillustrated stories you can only find in books! So goodbye Television; from now on, I'm creating my own Sheriff Lobo -- with my MIND!

On a related note, Geordie was a British band formed in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, just north of Lancaster-Over-Thames near the shores of Leicester-On-Manchester in London's Glastonbury district of Worcestershire. Comprised of AC/DC vocalist Brian Johnson, guitarist/songwriter Vic "Tayback" Malcolm, and two other puds, this band of saucy lads and lasses (lads, specifically) filled their debut album with the raw, exciting, "anything goes" sound of young vibrant chunky buzzy glam-influenced '70s hard rock. The guitar tones are dirty, unprocessed and filled with '70s personality, and the quirky, fun songwriting really does exude a refreshing "anything could happen" sensibility, particularly when compared to the stultifying "nothing will happen" approach they'd adopt prior to Johnson's departure a few years later.

It's unfortunate that I enjoy this album so much, because I'd love to be able to say they should've called it Hope You Like Shit! Alas, we'll have to love the one we're with. And the one we're with at the moment features a wonderfully mesmerizing light reverb on the dirty guitar tones, along with some doubling of guitar lines during key moments. Even more so, they play basic chunka-chunka New York Dolls/Slade/Sweet glammish rock and roll, but with all these fun little quirks thrown in, like play-spooky "Oooo-oooo-oooo!"s, faux-eerie "Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!"s, hilarious "Hey! Hey! Hey!" group vocals, Scottish barn dance riffs (with handclaps and "Hey!"s), Chipmunk voices singing "Shoobeedoowop! Shoobeedoowop!," and at the end of the record, several seconds of Mr. Brian Johnson laughing himself silly at the ridiculous vocal job he's just completed.

Musically speaking, you're going to find a mixture of old-fashioned rock and roll, glam, blues-rock, Southern rock and funk rock, expressed through a variety of moods including gleeful jubilance, detached cool, smiling humor and failed toughness, with one quick stop in Sad County. Not every musical decision works (ex. the chicka-wucka-wicka-wucka Halloween-disco-rock of "Strange Man" is pretty lame, and the ugly 'Rock God Sings the Same Jerk-Off Notes The Guitar Plays' chorus of the title track ruins an otherwise cool glam-simmer classic), but the guitar tones are just so darned full of personality (seriously - I've NEVER heard guitar tones that sound exactly like these before. They just sound so... Geordie! Bright and orange and ringing, yet covered under centuries of sludge and dust. Like a real street rock band playing their own music, not a studio act honing their craft) - that I can easily forgive their debts, as they forgive their debtors, and lead them not into temptation but deliver them from evil, for mine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever - Ah, man!

The lyrics, on the other hand. Not too bright! Nope, not so. Nop. "I walk the streets late at night/Look at me and you'll get a fright." "Nothing more I like to see than a rock and roll band/See the guitar player rockin' it with his hands/Then you got the singer; he's attached to the mic stand/(here's the kicker) The bass player and the drummer are the backbone of the band." And let's say, just theoretically, that you're writing a beautiful, emotional song about being so upset with your personal shortcomings that you turn in despair to the only being you think could possibly help - God. If you were writing such a tome, would you make THIS your second bridge?:

"Oh here I go again, I'm crying
The pen that I'm writing this with is dying
The paper in this book sure took some buying, Lord!"

Heartbreaking, isn't it? The despair?

My final point is for the billions of Bon Scott fans who were disgruntled to find the strong, fun personality of their hero replaced by the straightforward workhorsemanship of Brian Johnson. Against all odds, it appears that Brian Johnson used to be nearly as charismatic a singer as Bon himself! Granted, it was only on this record, but what a record! You can tell it's 'the guy from AC/DC' if you're warned beforehand, but at this point in his young life, he had yet to develop into either the superhuman screamer of Back In Black or the subhuman belcher of Ballbreaker. Instead, he sounded like a human being -- one with a normal low register, a gravelly high register, and the ability to bring a tremendous amount of personal magnetism to his performance, especially in humorous songs like "Old Time Rocker" (dig his "GOOD GAH YEAH YAY!" at the end of the guitar solo) and the timeless folk ballad "Geordie Lost His Liggie" (Granted, how could you NOT sound likable when singing verses like "He got himself a broom shank/ Stuffed it down the netty/ But he couldn't find his liggy/ Along the Scotswood Road/ So he got himself a poss stick/ And he tied it to his broom shank/ And he rammed it down the netty/ Along the Scotswood Road"?)

Please keep in mind that all of these kind words and genuine feelings of mine apply ONLY to this debut Geordie LP. After this, they turned their back on charm and hooks to become a 'serious' blues/hard rock band before just giving up and turning into a boring throwaway fuckass of a shithead.

Reader Comments

Joel M.
Hey Mark -

Out of all the great bands I feel passionately about, I chose to write in about Geordie. Go figure. But the Geordie page was so lonely I had to help.

Back when the world wide web was new and I had more time than money and Napster hadn't quite taken off, I used to troll far-off sites of discount overstock records and tapes. Through one of these I bought a pile of records (Chris & Cosey, Wiseblood, Roland S. Howard, Flesh Eaters, another album by Chris & Cosey, Rhythm, and Noise and I am sure some other great stuff) and a single cheap discount tape called "Glamm Crazee" of dubious legality. Glamm Crazee was half predictable radio fare (Elton John? Alice Cooper?) and half crazy stuff I had never heard, and as such it became my "car tape" for a few months. Here I first heard "Back in the New York Groove" (by someone other than Ace Frehley); The original "I Love Rock 'n Roll" by the Arrows; a great song called "Tiger Feet"; another one that I can't remember the name of that went "I can do it I can do it I can really move, from my head on down to my blue suede shoes, I can really make a move" that was super fun. Oh, and I first heard good Sparks ("This town ain't big enough for the both of us") which was really exciting in that I had never heard anything like it (even though I had heard "Cool Places" back on MTV). It never occurred to me it was a man singing TTABEFTBOU until I later bought some of their earlier albums.

Anyway, also on this tape was a song by Geordie. I don't remember this name, but it started off with a single, unaccompanied line like "I can reeeeeeeeeeeeejoice!!!!!!" that was then pitch-shifted upwards. Form the song itself, I only remember that it had these military-like "Hey! Hey! Hey!" breaks in it that were very AC/DC. It was great fun to hear Brian Johnson's voice, sounding much the same as in AC/DC, singing this rather trifling stuff with the same menacing tone he later became known for.

The tape? My wife accidentally (??) sucked it up while vacuuming the car.

"So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay."

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Don't Be Fooled By The Name - Repertoire 1974
Rating = 7

I'm not actually sure what the title of the album is supposed to mean (don't think we're silly just because we're called 'Geordie'? if you hated the last album, don't worry because this one doesn't sound a bit like it?), but no matter how you interpret it, its underlying message is that they want to be taken seriously now. As a SERIOUS blues-influenced hard rock band with serious ideas and no giggling at the end of their album (the last album had Brian giggling at the end, and they all got in trouble at Music School for it). The guitar tones are heavier and more traditional, the mix and backup vocals are much less quirky, Brian's singing is straightforward and anti-charismatic (though very well-done), and there is almost no humor or light to be found anywhere. It's a good '70s hard rock album for sure though -- crunchy, well-mixed, tough and bluesy. Like a granola milkshake with little bits of leather and BB King in it. In fact, that should have been the title.

But then you might have been FOOLED by it!!!

It's certainly not a perfect record though; all the songs drag on forgoddamnedever for one thing. Cripes, the tepid suspenseless 'potboiler' "Mercenary Man" and worthless rote hard funk/blues "Ten Feet Tall" keep slappin' on the shit for up to six or seven minutes! Then there's the cover of "House Of The Rising Sun." Now I've no problem with a band deciding to put their own unique spin on a traditional folk song, and many of our finest music ("Sloop John B," "Stagger Lee," "Cameltoe") is created in just this way. However, somehow it's slightly less appealing when a band decides to just blatantly plagiarize another band's unique arrangement of a traditional folk song, and then credit themselves for 'arrangement'. Brian sings it fine, but there's no reason for this version to exist; they've added NOTHING to the song's legacy, aside from a few extra boring minutes. And how musically ignorant do you have to be, to be unable to differentiate between a traditional folk song and an Animals hit single?

Otherwise, whoosh! Smooth, serious sailing: a couple of mean blues-rockers that work (although I'll be good and goddamned if the Malcolm/Johnson composition "Goin' Down" doesn't bear an uncanny exact replica resemblance to "St. James' Infirmary"), one speedy glam stomper with UFO synths, one creepy Alice Cooper-inflected tale of child neglect, and a wonderfully ambitious operatic closer to leave the taste of early Queen in your mouth. And no I don't mean Freddie Mercury's sperm, so no giggling or boners.

ONE WARNING: The CD comes with four bonus tracks, and none of them are very good at all. If you buy that version, keep this in mind and try to turn off the CD after "Look At Me" ends so you don't get all bummed out by Brian Johnson's godawful solo single, to be discussed in a later review. Until then, Keep on Geordie Lost His Liggiein'!

Incidentally, if you've been wondering what that song is about for all these years, apparently Geordie has lost a marble while using the restroom and he's sure that it must have fallen into the toilet. So he tries to stick a broom down through the hole as far as it will go, but no luck. So he gets a case of dynamite, stuffs it 'doon' (down) the 'netty' (toilet) and blows the stinkin' (stinking) 'netty' (still toilet) along the Scotsward road. But guess what? As it transpires, the 'liggie' (marble) wasn't in the 'netty' (billiard table) at all! It was in his bloody pocket. It was in his bloody pocket! It was in his bloody pocket - along the Scotsward Road! You'd be aware of this if you'd heard the song.

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Save The World - EMI 1976
Rating = 4

Gumption. Everybody likes it. Nobody complains and says, "I don't like gumption." This is because people understand the importance of gumption. However, there are times in life when gumption itself isn't enough. In times like these, we must resort to last-ditch properties as innate ability, potentiality, diligence, concentration and perspicacity. For without these qualities, gumption is like the little bird running up a treadmill: he may have the fists and fury, but at the end of the day, all you've got is a treadmill covered in bird poop.

Thus, Save The World. An album that SUCKS OUT LOUD.

If you like happy basic bland pop rock with a very slight glam feel and a very large lack of innovative melody.... If you like tunes that go in one ear and out the other, actively avoiding that pesky judgmental 'brain' in the process.... If handclaps are more important to you than hooks.... I realize that I'm really piling on the "If"s and there's a good reason for that: Pblbll.

At very least, Shave The World is at least the most diverse Geordie album yet, with its sweat-stained offerings ranging from straightforward glam rock, tough hard rock and ass-kicking Judas Priest proto-metal to (mediocre) minor-key disco rock, (bad) horn-laden Chuck Berry r'n'r, (embarrassing) boogie rock, (horrific) toaster reggae and (vomitous) piano balladry. But the majority of the songs just end up sounding like happy midtempo faceless la-de-da pop rock. "You do this to me, you do that to me, everything you da da da fuck you.

Look, here are some kind words: "Momma's Gonna Take You Home" has a wonderful wiggly riff and pleasing lilt in its step, "Ride On Baby" has terrific energy and Brian's voice goes way the hell up there in a balloon, and "Fire Queen" is the meanest butt-kicker in the entire Geordie catalog. And a few other numbers have, you know, moments that don't cause genital warts. But a full half of this album - SIX ENTIRE SONGS - want nothing more than to be hit singles on WHEE-FM. No personality, no guts, no balls(ac), no anything. They sure do sound happy though - whee! That's why they want to be hits on WHEE-FM - because they'd feel right at home there. I should have mentioned that earlier, prior to my initial mention of WHEE-FM.

Again, I applaud their gumption. Gumption is an important aspect of any endeavor, which is why you never hear people saying things like "Phew! That guy needs to wash his gumption!" or "Your gumption is too small to pleasure my vagina, and I'm going to tell everybody." Those who would deny the urgency of gumption in any enterprise of note are not only fools, but slothful bigots as well. Take it from me, 'Gigantic Bill' McJenkinsjohnson.

With gumption,
William H. "Gigantic Bill" McJenkinsjohnson
Executive Vice-President, Gumption Division
Bubba Gimp Shrump Factory

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A Band From Geordieland - Repertoire 1996
Rating = 6

Don't be fooled by the name - hope you like it and all, but A Band From Geordieland is just the CD version of Save The World, along with four Hope You Like Its, two Don't Be Fooled By The Names and six singles. If you can't find either of the first two albums on CD, you'll benefit from the fact that five of those six inclusions are among the finest on their respective releases (including the awesome Scottish barn dance hoedown "Don't Do That," uptempo glammer "Got To Know" and friend of a nation "Geordie's Lost His Liggie"), but god the agony of sitting through Save The World shit like "She's A Teaser," "She's A Lady" and other descriptions of what she is - that's enough to kill a man in the HEART!

So the real "meat of the penis" as it were, insofar as me discussing it here in a review separate from the last three albums, are the six singles included herein. I guess if these six songs comprised their own little EP, I'd give it a low 7. Most of the songs really aren't all that incredible the whole way through, but two of them - "Geordie Stomp" and "Electric Lady" - are more fun than a barrel of other, smaller barrels, each filled with its own tiny monkey. "Geordie Stomp" is right outta the Hope You Like It school of charms, all fun ringing Scottish guitars, tambourines and Brian imploring the listener to "Stomp on! Stomp on!" "Electric Lady" also features a fun, though less reminiscent of the northern third of the island of Great Britain, notey riff with a nice catchy pop chord chorus. Of the remaining four, "Can You Do It" has nothing going for it besides a neat-as-hell Entwistley plummeting bass noise; "Black Cat Woman" buries a few eerie licks within five minutes of corny ugly 'Brian shrieking the same annoying notes as the blues-wailing guitar' horseshorts; "Francis Was A Rocker" features an entire verse comprised of the lyrics "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!" [or alternately, "Whoo!" (x8)]; and "Red Eyed Lady" is a catchy country-rock harmonica-driven vehicle. AHH! THERE'S A HARMONICA DRIVING THAT CAR!!!!

Heh heh. Just a little diction joke for all the diction fans out there. I'm lookin' at YOU, "Diction Ari," my Hebrew friend!

Did you hear Dick Cheney shot some guy? I've spent the last half-hour trying to come up with a hilarious joke about it, but no luck. I did manage to come up with the phrase "a doddering old son-of-a-bitch shooting willy-nilly at everything that moves" though, so maybe some day I'll be able to fashion that into a joke. In the meantime, here's a real 'zinger.':

Why did Dick Cheney cross the road?
I'll tell you in eighteen hours.

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Brian Johnson And Geordie - Red Melody 1981
Rating = 6

As you make your weary way through this life called Today, you as an AC/DC fan are going to run across many, many repackaged Geordie compilations playing up the Brian Johnson connection. And perhaps you'll at some point think to yourself, "Say, that one's only 4 dollars. Why don't I pick that up and hear what Brian Johnson's old band was like?" Unfortunately, this could be the most destructive personal decision you'll ever make. You see, Geordie compilation creators are monsters. Not even symbolic monsters (ie Charles Manson, Bono), but actual fire-breathing green bubbly creatures from the depths of our planet's core. As such, no matter how hard they try to make a good Geordie compilation to please their dark alien overlords, they are naturally handicapped by their 'otherness.' For example, when putting together this particular compilation, their goopy monster ears were so gushing with pus and maggots that they did a poor job mastering the songs, making them all sound tinny and powerless, as if your stereo has no bass function or dynamic drive 'n range. Fore!

Nevertheless, I consider myself lucky with this purchase because -- AND PAY ATTENTION HERE OR REGRET IT LATER -- at some point, a man I can only assume was Vic Malcolm went back over some of their classic early material and replaced all the music with shitty generic mid-80s guitar chords. I happened across this phenomenon on a CD called Keep On Rockin', but I bet you a dollar that these embarrassing wiped-free-of-personality mixes are also scattered throughout other budget comps as well. So just know that if you ever hear a version of the song "Keep On Rockin'" that starts with a loud generic heavy-ish metal guitar playing three chords as "BOOM! (pause) BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! (pause)," rather than a high-pitched '70s-sounding raw guitar playing them as "gringa-gringa-gringa-gringa-gringa-gringa-groonga-gronga," then you've been had by the Mystical Mythical Monsters Of Mayhem (M.M.M.O.M.).

As for Brian Johnson And Geordie, which has a red cover with fancy typing and a side shot of Brian (in orange, red and green) singing into a mic while wearing an AC/DC t-shirt: it includes four Hope You Like Its, three Don't Be Fooled By The Names, one Save The Worlds, and two non-LP tracks -- and should only be purchased if you see it really really cheap. As I mentioned, the sound quality is treblier than on the original releases, which gives kind of a false impression of their sound. Secondly, although it does feature some of the best songs from their first three records ("Fire Queen," "Don't Do That," "Goin' Down", "Keep On Rockin'," "Natural Born Loser"), songs as long and boring as "Ten Feet Tall" and "Mercenary Man" don't belong on any compilation except maybe The Shittiest Songs Of Shitland. Of note to collectors, however, is the inclusion of both sides of Mr. Johnson's absolutely HORRENDOUS 1980 solo single, "Rockin' With The Boys"/"Treat Her Like A Lady." Co-written with Dave Robson and Dek Rootham (?), these songs epitomize slick, faceless '80s pop metal (and its accompanying 'power ballad') at its corniest. So in that way, Brian was a real pioneer! Years ahead of his time, beating Lita Ford at her own game!

So let's all thank AC/DC for saving Brian from what was looking to be a very unpromising future in the world of bad sissy metal. With their help, he soon roared to the greatest heights of his professional and musical career: recording the entire Ballbreaker album with a wheelchair crammed down his throat.

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No Good Woman - 1978
Rating = 7

Strangely, the World Wide Internet isn't a bastion of information and fan fiction regarding Britain's much-loved Geordie rock band. As such, I haven't been able to find dick about when exactly Brian Johnson left the band nor why he appears on five of the twelve songs on this record. But one thing I can tell you for sure is that they changed like All Hell when he departed! I've no clue who this fellow is who took his place, but what's odd is that, in the wrong light, he actually sounds a little bit like Bon Scott! Not as charismatic though; mainly just a smooth standoffish British workingman's voice like the kind you might hear in Spooky Tooth or a band of their elk, which would be pretty awesome you have to admit. Playing solos with their antlers and shit. But beyond just having a new vocalist, Geordie on the non-Brian half of this album have converted into a heavy organ-driven hard rock band like Deep Purple or... well, Spooky Tooth, come to think of it. So if you like Spooky Tooth, you'll LOVE having a "No Good Woman" who cheats on you all the time!

I understand their reluctance to just throw away the unreleased Brian Johnson material, but their decision to include it alongside their 'new sound' material has resulted in a record that's just.... WEIRD! See, five of the songs are these happy generic Chuck Berry-chord rock and roll songs with Brian Johnson growling his raspy goodtime growl, and the other seven are dark, brooding, at times funky, at times sorrowful, dramatic-bordering-on-bombastic Serious Rock pieces filled with pianos, Hammonds, Moogs and some guy who's not Brian Johnson. Essentially it sounds like they've replaced not just the singer, but the entire band. Which isn't inconceivable, as fans of the Electric Prunes are well aware.

Man, a lot of these songs are just fantastic -- three of Brian's rock'n'rollers are terrific singalongs (particularly the speedy "Goin' To The City" and chunky mean rocker "I Remember"), and the new band hits nonpaying dirt with the multi-part epic "Wonder Song," teary piano ballad "Aint That A Shame," anxious moog-fuzz guitar-crankler "Show Business" (also the name of an early AC/DC song! Ooooo!) and driving AC/DC-style evil rocker "You've Got It." I mean, I love these songs. I'm so proud of them for branching out into a more mature and interesting direction after Brian split ways. A quick listen to the record's only true stinkers (Brian's disco-meets-Bob-Seger monstrosity "Sweet Little Rock N Roller" and Johnson's beyond-generic rockarolla "Dollars Deutsche Marks") conjures up dreadful images of what a full-fledged Save The World sequel might have entailed. Granted, the jazzy soft rock sex music of "Victoria" isn't much of a replacement, but hey! We can't ALL wear little gold thimbles of cocaine around our necks!

Actually, I shouldn't say that. I don't want to discourage anybody from reaching for their dreams. We're in America where a little elbow grease can accomplish ANYTHING! Especially in terms of polishing an elbow. But other things too.

Hey, I watched Cannibal Holocaust today. Have you seen it? I loved it! Much less sleazy and stupid than I was expecting, and much more evil. I love a good revenge yarn, and it certainly was a revenge yarn (of the one guy's intestines!) The very last line of dialogue was dumb as shit though, and don't say I didn't cuss at you about it.

Reader Comments (Alexander)
Hello there !

I am Alexander from Moscow, Russia , a Geordie collector and a great Geordie fan. Just to add a few lines regarding No good woman CD review. This CD release was totally my idea when I have purchased the copyrights from the master tapes owners, a London- based company formerly known as Red Bus. The CD was pressed in Sweden but the local manufacturing company had lay me down : they pressed much more CDs than it was ordered and left quite a number for their own use.

Anyway, Brian Johnson shares lead vocal with someone Dave Ditchburn on this CD and the line-up consists of Vic Malcolm, Alan Clarke ( Dire Straits keyboard player).The other members I do not remember.

By the way, I have made a new contract with Red Bus and pressed a new CD, Geordie Unreleased Tapes - totally unknown material from 1974-1976.This is very nice digi-book format edition with picture disc and rare photoes.

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No Sweat - Neat 1983
Rating = 1

This album sucks. A few songs rip off AC/DC (the first song sounds completely like "Overdose," for example - and another song features the lyrics "She steals my money, drives my car, stays out all night long" which is pretty similar to AC/DC's "She spends my money, drinks my booze, stays out every night" from "Hell Ain't A Bad Place To Be." But a couple other songs rip off AC/DC too. Even WOrSE is the fact that, with Bryan Johnson now a member of AC/DC, they picked up a new singer who sounds like a skinny, wispy version of Steve Perry (JOURNEY fame). So half the songs are AC/DC ripoffs and the other half are corny early 80's hard rock songs with the Survivor guy over-singing his bullshit on top of them. It's incredible to think that this band used to not suck, because they absolutely suck now. If you ever went to a bar in the early 80s and a band was onstage playing, this was them. You'd might as well be listening to a "John Kay & Steppenwolf" album. It's like shitty rednecks with no brain writing shitty songs for shitty people. Completely predictable chord changes and corny Journey-style vocals. Raw guitar tones, but the worst songwriting of all time. Do me a favor - go to YouTube and look up "Hoogie-Boogie Land" by the band 'Complete.' And understand that that song and band are 800000000000 times more interesting than this puke-shittingly ass-licking final Geordie release. Lots of lame "Tough" mino-key chord runs and a urine sample filled with urine.

I'm drunk, but tonight I took the dog out to poop, he wouldn't poop, some Mexican with a mustache told me to get him out of the area in front of the post office, I said 'Where's the sign?," he said 'It doesn't matter; get him out,' I said 'where's the sign?', he said 'it doesn't matter. get your stinking dog out of there,' I said 'How about if I punch your fucking face in?' he said 'go ahead' and I said 'what will you do?' and he called the police over so I apologized a few times and he ignored me and then I got my fucking non-pooping dog out of there and went home, hearing the Mexican guy who shouldn't even be allowed in our country in the first place because Mexicans blew up the World Trade Center telling the cop "And then he said he'd punch my face in and that's why I called you over!" I love Mexicans and all but come on isn't it my right as an American to let my dog take a shit on the top of a flagpole?

Also, this CD is fucking terrible. Please don't buy it, or even think about it.

Reader Comments

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! You heard Complete too, then! You're right, that "take you on a magical HOO-gie BOO-gie land" that the guy says before they start the song probably is more interesting than a 1983 Geordie album. However, I definitely prefer "Beautiful Sunrises". That band needs to get back together. "Beautiful sunrises for mmeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeggggggggggghhhhhhhhhccchchh!!!!!!!"

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There's a whole world of purchasable Geordie CDs waiting for you at this link! And they're filled with NAKED WOMEN!!!

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