Farces Wanna Mo

Just trying to get all these goddamned Bribery Reviews out of the way
*special introductory paragraph!
*There's Got To Be An Aesthetic There
*Recording @ Home + 7
*Mess Of Pottage EP

Now is no time to focus, with death and fear dripping and seeping into every pore of my being (see Chris Rock intro paragraph), but I'm sick of these fucking Bribery Reviews, and I refuse to have them hanging over my head any longer. A Bribery Review is a very bad idea I had a while back that goes as follows: You send me your homemade music and $4 and I send you a Mark Prindle CD and review your music on my web site. Today's entry is Farces Wanna Mo, a band whose name I absolutely despise, but I'll be forgiving because the bandleader Dave W. seems like such a nice guy.

There's Got To Be An Aesthetic There - My X-Lover's Records 1996.
Rating = 6

This is actually a split-CD released in tandem with Dave's brother's Doug's band Runaway Weiner Dog, but i have been asked to concentrate on the 14 Farces Wanna Mo tracks, so that's what I'll do. The first thing you would notice about this CD if you owned it is that Dave sounds a heck of a lot like the Dead Kennedys' Jello Biafra and Alice Donut's Tomas Antona -- his voice is very high-pitched and warbly. Unfortunately, it's also very off-key most of the time. Just a teensy bit flat, not quite hitting the notes it's supposed to hit. And this is pretty crucial, because the music, a lot of the time is GREAT. Diverse, guitar-driven, off-kilter, smart, reverbed, twangy, poppy, original, enjoyable - but the vocals are a big weak point. According to the liner notes, the band features eight people but I see no way that this could possibly be the case. It sounds like about four people to me. Sometimes there's an electric piano of sorts too, but you know.

Kinda reminds me of early Thinking Fellers, though I certainly don't think that this was Dave's aim. Seems like his aim was just to bring some great new songs into the world -- and with "Obscure The Failures," "Wake Up! It's 4:37 A.M.!," "Night Of A Decade's Duration," "Jazz Music," "Animal Song" and "Third Cousin To Death," he has done just that. Some songs are chordy, some are notey, all have weak vocals. But who am I to complain?

I'll tell you exactly who I am. I am Mark Prindle, Manhattanite. And the date is September 15, 2001. I wish I could stop thinking about this, but I can't. Therefore, you are not allowed to stop reading about this. 5000 dead and I'm supposed to give a shit about Farces Wanna Mo. Sorry, Dave - this is just bad timing. But I have to get this done now.

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Recording @ Home + 7 - Homemade 1998.
Rating = 6

Eight songs, a bit more experimental than the last one (especially with wildass EXCELLENT untraditional organ song "Snake In Cat's Pajamas" and equally wondermous "Excuses Excuses"). I love the title "Jacobsen's Organ," as that is the part of a dog that allows him to *taste* what he is smelling - no tongue needed! But here I'm reminded of Pere Ubu - eerie synth noises atop garage rock. "Toronto, Canada" REALLY sounds like early Thinking Fellers - attempts at humor and all. But the almost-there-but-not-quite-there vocals are killing me. Dave might should have somebody else sing and he should just keep writing the wonderful riffs and melodies. He's awesome at it. Jimmy Page, for example, probably can't sing. So he doesn't. Pete Townshend, for another example, can't sing but does.

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Mess Of Pottage EP - My Ex-Lover's Records 2000.
Rating = 5

Too much gross unfunny humor on this one (as if I'm one to complain about that) -- but "Golden Waterfalls" is a rap song about pissing that is set against a sample from TLC's "Waterfalls." I didn't laugh once. "Used Condoms In The Trash" is gross and includes a commercial break that irritates me. "Brand New Start," the title track and "Do Your Pappy Proud" are great songs. I can't do this anymore. The music thrills me but the words/voice kills me. Farces Wanna Mo? More like "People Holding Hands As They Jump Out Of The 85th Floor Window To Their Deaths In A Desperate Attempt To Get Away From The Flames And Smoke" if you ask me.

Mess Of Pottage? More like "Being Stuck In A Smoke-Filled Stairwell As The Entire Building Collapses And Your Body Is Smashed Apart As You Scream In Terror," if you ask me.

Dave W.? Normally I'd care about hurting his feelings but he should just feel really lucky to be alive. I don't have the patience to pick my language carefully right now, and words don't mean much anymore. I'm going to hold off on writing any more reviews until I get a new computer and I feel a little better.

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