Even a bribe can't cure my illness

Bombs By Night, Balloons By Morning - Homemade 2001.
Rating = 7

Perhaps you are unfamiliar with the patented Mark Prindle Bribery Review. Please allow me to explain. You record your silly little homemade music and send it to me along with $4 bucks and I send you back one of my atrocious homemade CDs and post a review of your music on my site. Nobody gains, everybody loses.

I would love to go on and on about how brilliant Chris Willie Williams is, because he IS an extremely talented songwriter, musician and especially producer. But the problem is I'm really really sick. I keep going to work because it's really busy and I have to take my dog to Central Park in the morning and the Dog Run at night because my fiancee is out of town for the next five days, conveniently during the exact same five days that I have to take care of Sophie, my dog's girlfriend, because her owner Katie is going out of town. So I'm exhausted, achey, stuffy, coughing and sneezing nonstop, filled with mucus and yet my responsibilities are greater than ever. Plus, I'm trying to record my new CD and I'm not very happy with it so far. And my voice is hoarse and sounds stupid. And my dog keeps barking when he hears the neighbors. That's my review.

Thanks for reading.

It's been a pleasure reviewing for you this evening.

One-man-band Disclaimer hails from Troy, MI, where he plays the keyboards, bass, guitar and drums, and composes excellent little songs that run the gamut from wimp pop to garage rock to dark moody underbellies to XTC-style off-kilteringly odd shiny pop rock songs. His lyrics discuss chicks, broads, loneliness, whores, fags and diarrhea, though he might argue against the last few I wrote there. All songs are open to interpretation. He is the king of building songs -- starting with just a couple elements, bringing in a really cool effect-driven new instrument later on, putting his voice through various reverbs and things, mixing up the production so that the song you've been enjoying suddenly sounds like the CD is skipping for about 20 seconds until you realize that the skipping is actually the rhythm track of the next song and he has fooled you again, Pete Townshend and ESPECIALLY Roger Daltrey, particularly during the years when he had that asinine perm mullet thing. People say to me "Hey Mark, Why'd you give it a 7 instead of a jillion if you like it so fucking much?" Well, truth be told, I only love the FIRST HALF so fucking much. The second half is bogged down with some bland cover tunes and a few originals that are much closer to "generically melodic" than the ones on the first half, which pass for "Wow! I can't get that song out of my head!" Luckily, the CD ends with just such a tune, so you end with a nice flavor in your mouth, similar to, oh I don't know, a sugar pill or a Duck McNugget or something. I know I should put a return somewhere here so it's not just one long paragraph but I'm really really sick. Also, not that I'm David Hasselhoff or anything, but Chris Willie Williams has kind of a nerdy voice. He sounds young and collegiate, perhaps with a pair of glasses. I could have used more vocal harmonies, as I enjoy vocal harmonies. Having made that halfassed criticism, let me add that it's CDs like this one that make me really embarrassed about how little effort I put into making my own sound good. I try to make mine interesting, but man alive, does this sound professionally done -- AND interesting! Mine just sound like muffled poop.

Mmmm. I could go for some muffled poop right about now. Let me wrap this up and order a Domino's Muffled Poop Pizza. In conclusion, Disclaimer is good! You should send Chris an email asking how you can buy it. I don't know his email address, but his music review site is linked on my links page, which was put together by site manager Rich Bunnell because I'm a self-centered prick who never visits any other music review sites because I'm too busy doing web engine searches for my own name.

And that's my review of Mark Prindle's day and how it's going so far.

Reader Comments

DisclaimerWill@aol.com (Chris Willie Williams)
Thanks for the nice review! Everything you said was right on the money- I wish I hadn't included the Pet Shop Boys and Men They Couldn't Hang covers on the album, because they do kind of sap all the momentum. (I think the second half of the album stands up pretty well without them, though. The songs aren't as poppy as those on the first half, but I like 'em anyway.) And I do indeed wear glasses, which apparently affected my singing for the worse... that and the fact that I started trying to sing everything like Joe Jack Talcum in eighth grade, and haven't been able to fully reclaim my own voice in the seven years since. Which song did you think sounded like XTC, by the way? Just curious. Anyway, thanks again for the review! I'm really happy that you enjoyed the album as much as you seemed to. And also, thanks for the inside joke in the review that no one who hasn't heard the album (which is to say, no one) will get!

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