Archipelago Brewing Co.

Def!
*special introductory paragraph!
*Open Your Foot
*Drill Ye Tarriers Drill

People have ideas, and sometimes these ideas are great ideas. But if people don't have all the "chops" and "money" necessary to pull off these great ideas, they turn out as only "good" creations. This happens a lot in band situations because it's hard to pull together a whole band of people who are all of the same level of talent and creativity. Archipelago Brewing Co. was a little-known San Francisco underground rock outfit of the late `80s that had great musical ideas and creativity, but a tonedeaf boring singer and production values rivaling that of a guy recording an album on a piece of paper. But at least two members of the band would go on to later and greater things - guitarist Brandan Kearney became a member of Caroliner and founder of Nuf Sed Records, and gay drummer Jay Paget went on to fame and fortune in the Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 and having sex with guys. The other members are all stranded on an innertube in the middle of the ocean.


Open Your Foot - Nuf Sed 1987.
Rating = 6

Originally released on cassette only, but now available on the Drill Ye Tarriers Drill CD, the debut ABC recording was played by a three- piece: James Dillon on vocals and percussion, Jay Paget on guitar, bass and percussion and Brandan Kearney on guitar, bass, tapes and percussion. James just didn't have it, if it wouldn't be impolite of me to say that he sucked shit off the floor every time he opened his mouth. This CD would have been a pretty nifty collection of intriguing guitar interplay and sampled noises used as rhythmic backdrop if the "singer" didn't sound like they just dragged somebody in off the street and had him talk into the microphone with no headphones on. Thankfully his disappointingly amateurish delivery is only present in about half of the songs. The others are instrumental.

Instrumental in making me a fan, that is!

As a cassette recording, you can TELL it's a cassette recording. The drums and bass are nearly buried alive under the heavily reverbed guitars and samples. Kearney was once quoted calling ABC a "garage band," and on a certain level I agree with that - especially as the guitar tones are distorted and reverbed like your finest Nuggets, Pebbles and Pieces of Graphite (note to self: start a compilation series called "Pieces of Graphite" before posting review). But on another level, garage rock isn't generally anywhere near this arty or UNrolling. The echo and delay of the guitars richocheting off of each other while merging with often hilarious, always unrecognizable samples atop thumpa-thumpa- thumpa background pounding sounds a hell of a lot less like the Sonics than it does early Sonic Youth, a lot less "Western Union" than Thinking Fellers Union and a lot less Standells than "Stand the hell away from me if you're gonna make that racket."

Only non-vocal problem left for me is that some of the songs seem particularly underwritten - "The Insect God," for example, is just a high-pitched, ear-unpleasing Sun City Girls-style collage of bongos and bug noises, and "Two Bushels of Wheat" limps along on a pathetic, boring pop chord progression that hasn't been original since about 1370.

When it was used to celebrate the birth of Laurens Janszoon Koster, the REAL inventor of the printing press (FUCK YOU, STEVE GUTTENBERG!). But every band has to start somewhere. Look at The Hives. They started somewhere. And look at them now. Look at the White Stripes. Look at the Sex Pistols. Every single one of these bands started somewhere. So how can you argue with me that not every band has to start somewhere?

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Drill Ye Tarriers Drill - Brinkman 1989.
Rating = 7

Supposedly this one was recorded in a studio (and actually PRODUCED by somebody), but the mixia as muffled as the first one. The guitars may be slightly less reverby, but the "Four Goddamn Girl Drummers" are just as hidden in the mix as the one heavenblessed boy drummer on the debut. Musically, the rhythmic samples are much less in attendance this time around, replaced by a higher percentage of really catchy lead guitar lines (as opposed to the rhythm guitar chugs that drove the debut). The singer is slightly more tuneful this time around, but his voice is still very boring and doesn't help the album at all. The band sup you know what I'll start a new paragraph here.

The band supposedly went from a trio to a nontet before this recording, but it still just sounds like three guys making (tennis) racket in the basement. Not that most of your basement bands are going to be doing Raymond Scott covers. Or recording what essentially sounds like twisted lo-fi funhouse music. Or coming up with so many great, interesting, smart pieces of music. Unfortunately, again, the album's overall effectiveness is (johnny) marred by the singer's amateurishness, the lack of clarity in the mix and several great pieces of music that aren't developed into ANYTHING ("Wussies-R-Us," for example - beautiful moody guitar piece that reminds one of those glorious moments when Sonic Youth sounds GOOD, but then does nothing with it at all).

Bottom line - If you like the Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 or Caroliner, you'd probably like the Archipelago Brewing Company too. They had the same sort of playfulness-meets-genius quality as those bands, but with more distorted guitar action!

ABCROXLIKEFUKINBALLBREAKER@hotmail.com (BIG FUKIN ABC FAN)
HOW DARE YOU???? ARCHIPELKAGO BERWING CO FUCKEN KICK ASS AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT YOU OVBIUSLY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR OWN GAYNESS!!!! JAMES IS A GREAT FUCKEN SINGER AND THE BAND WOULD KICK-ASS EVEN IF HE WASN"T GREAT BUT HE IS SO FUCK YOU!!! YOU PROBABLY WOULD PERFER MICHAEL BOLTON OR SOME OTHER GAY DICKWAD SINGER BUT THOSE WHO KNOW, KNOW THAT JAMES IS DA MAN. HEY ITS PRETTY EASY TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU CAN"T DO ANYTHING YOUR SELF HUH? JUST HOW MANY SONGS HAVE YOU WRITTEN ASSHOLE????

Brandan Kearney
I'm not going to waste any time defending this batch of juvenilia against your comments, most of which are eerily accurate. But I think I speak for everyone in the band--and thus, by extension, for you too--when I say that James was a fine singer and a consummate showman to boot. We all liked him just fine...we still do, for that matter! You're welcome to your opinion, of course...just as you're welcome to the chancroid lesions all over your pecker. (Sorry to kiss and tell.)

For the record, Open Your Foot was recorded in an actual studio, with an actual engineer in attendance. It was released on cassette, yes indeed, but it was recorded on a 1/2-inch 8-track reel-to-reel...so you may want to consider raising its grade to a ten.

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